Payton thinks Pepper must be a gift JUST FOR HIM. Pepper thinks Payton is the most obnoxious dog in the world. (And she's probably right.) Payton is trying to get her to play and crying because she won't play, she's trying to decide how much snark is necessary to tell him to **** off, and also she is alternating between jumping in my lap when I least expect it and showering me with kisses, and standing two feet away clacking happily away at me and staring at me like "Is this a dream? It feels like a dream." No, Pep, it's not a dream. You're home and you're never going away again.