jokes,pics, and freaky stuff

Sheba · Jul 25, 2005

Be free to post anything in the title!

Talking Dog
A man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. "This is a talking dog," he said. "And you can have him for five dollars."

The neighbour said, "Who do you think you're kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain't no such animal."

Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. "Please buy me, Sir," he pleaded. "This man is cruel. He never buys me a meal, never bathes me, never takes me for a walk. And I used to be the richest trick dog in America. I performed before kings. I was in the army and was decorated ten times."

"Hey!" said the neighbour. "He can talk. Why do you want to sell him for just five dollars?"

"Because," said the seller, "I'm getting tired of all his lies."

Sheba · Jul 25, 2005

Dog Property Laws

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.

7. If it looks like mine, it's mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10. If its broken, it's yours.

keyodie · Jul 25, 2005

lol...here is a joke:

How to Keep an Idiot Busy:
Scroll down

How to keep an Idiot busy:
Scroll Up

Sheba · Jul 25, 2005

LOL!I know there is not a picture there because I'm not an idiot!
That is funny, because someone could just be sitting staring at that and nothing would happen!

keyodie · Jul 25, 2005

Here's a few:

Top 10 Blonde Inventions

1. The water-proof towel
2. Solar powered flashlight
3. Submarine screen door
4. A book on how to read
5. Inflatable dart board
6. A dictionary index
7. Ejector seat in a helicopter
8. Powdered water
9. Pedal-powered wheel chair
10. Water-proof tea bag

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Fun Things to Do in an Elevator:
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up all of you just shut UP!
3. Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.
4. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
5. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
6. Shave.
7. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?
8. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
9. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
10. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
11. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
12. Floss your teeth.
13. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.
14. Do Tai Chi exercises.
15. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: I've got new socks on!
16. Meow occassionally.
17. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
18. Sing Mary had a little lamb while continually pushing buttons.
19. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
20. Walk on with a cooler that says human head on the side.
21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce You're one of "THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
22. Leave a box between the doors.
23. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

Sheba · Jul 25, 2005

Or is it just scrolling up and down?Both ways are funny!

Sheba · Jul 25, 2005

LOL!Those are funny too, keyodie!

Sheba · Jul 25, 2005

Honestly, I think this site is a joke!http://www.scarysquirrel.org/page1.html

keyodie · Jul 25, 2005

Bob and Billy were two fish. They were both swimming peacefully, with the sun streaming through the water...

Suddenly, they bumped into something.

"Dam!"

Sheba · Jul 25, 2005

Lol!!!

scob89 · Jul 26, 2005

Sprout · Jul 26, 2005

haha!! lol, I actually scrolled up and down like, 10 times before I got it, lol
I suppose I could be labeled an idiot xD

keyodie · Jul 26, 2005

hehe at least you didn't do it for like, one whole minute.

Sheba · Jul 30, 2005

LOL!
Top 10 Blonde Inventions

1. The water-proof towel
2. Solar powered flashlight
3. Submarine screen door
4. A book on how to read
5. Inflatable dart board
6. A dictionary index
7. Ejector seat in a helicopter
8. Powdered water
9. Pedal-powered wheel chair
10. Water-proof tea bag

keyodie · Jul 30, 2005

lol that's the one I put at the beginning with the Fun things to do on an elevator

nicco · Jul 30, 2005

guys....don't want to upset you...or anything..but we do have a "jokes forum*....you can put there not only dog or animal jokes..it's just an idea...

nicco · Jul 30, 2005

I take that back guys!
And that being said...I'M OUTTA HERE!GOTTA GET SOME SLEEP!!!

Dakotah_2009 · Jul 30, 2005

On the one Scob89 posted earlier I liked #2,4,and 8!!!
I scrolled up and down for a few minutes be4 I actually got it! Man I feel stupid!!!

keyodie · Jul 30, 2005

lol, those are some cool pics scob.

I guess no one liked my fish one... *acts disappointed* Not! Its stupid...lol.

poeluvr · Aug 4, 2005

doberluv said she liked it..i did too

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