Since I was able to open the backdoor and see her walk out She's not by my side every night when I go to sleep, licking me till she goes to sleep. I've had many sleepless night, but this christmas it really sunk in, she' gone. I had dreams where I wish I would wish I never did wake up, because she was alive in these drems. She was one of those evil yappy dogs. But to me she was the best dog, ever. I always questioned the future, if she would get along with my future kids, but now I'll never know. I wish she died a natural death and instead of telling people about her, they would of known her and why we shared that bond we did. I hate using past terms, she was, she did, I want it to be like before. I'm so thankful for dog forums, because there are people that do care bout her, even though they've never met her. I hate thinking am I the only one who cares that she's gone? No one felt bad for her, they felt bad for me, but not for her, because in their eyes 'she was just a dog'. My friends try to understand, but they can't fully understand how much she meant to me. She wasn't special to most people, or a favorite or no sort, but to me she was and much more. I really hope and pray animals do have souls, because there is no heaven to me, if I cannot see Didi again. One year before she passed her previous owner was murdered, if she cared for her like I did, I hope they're taking care of one another and I get the chance to see her again. I hope now Lucky and the puppies have some more company from her presence, even if she' being a total bitch. I LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU, RIP DIDI.