I'm miserable for all the wrong reasons

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by StephyMei1112, Dec 5, 2012.

  1. smkie

    smkie pointer/labrador/terrier Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Messages:
    55,145
    Likes Received:
    35
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Finding a different hospital has saved someone I care with all my heart about. THis person was in crisis and the first hospital gave us no solution, and even made us feel that if we came back we were "using" the system. THe second hospital not only recognized what the true issue was, but were incredibly instrumental in finding the right combination of medication to returning my loved one to a stable life where activities of daily living were possible, and happiness was obtainable for the whole family. Before that, was a spiral down and a desperate feeling of complete loss of control. Do not hesitate if the first hospital, or first doctor is not helping to reach out to another. It takes time to find your answers, but if you don't go back, or to another, and continue the pattern that you have shown here, you are putting yourself in danger. IT just doens't have to be this way. IT can turn around and be so much better.
     
  2. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2004
    Messages:
    22,034
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Occupation:
    2 dogs
    Location:
    western Wa
    I second this. What have you got to lose by trying? Even if you don't feel like it? It's not hard to do this, is it? Not really. If you don't care or have it in you to care about yourself, obviously, what you've been doing isn't working. Why not try something else that people here are suggesting? It isn't that hard to go to a few places and try to get in. Why not take advice and see what might be done? You have gotten to a point of complete apathy, it seems like. So, if you don't have the strength to work it all out, let someone else help you. It's time to get some emotional healing from a real doctor. Isn't a future worth a try?
     
  3. StephyMei1112

    StephyMei1112 Blackout

    Joined:
    May 19, 2012
    Messages:
    922
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    The dog is an equal - but I've had alot of bfs...
    Location:
    No fixed abode.
    I have a feeling a counselor/life coach along with a good doctor (the kind that treats patients like patients instead of liabilities) would help. I mean, I've heard good things about UBC Hospital - and I would look into maybe, like, a rehab/retreat center?

    But I've got things to do - secure a job, secure a place to be, sort out the legalities of the house. I'm thinking in the New Year maybe - but not at the moment. I'll try to be ok till then.
     
  4. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2005
    Messages:
    28,563
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Occupation:
    3
    Location:
    Lancaster, PA
    Home Page:
    Why can't you do those things AND see a doctor? You have a million excuses why you can't do it right now but really you only need ONE reason to do it now. Get help and all those "need to do" things will become easier to accomplish when you aren't fighting yourself. Part of me is startig to think you don't want to be better.
     
  5. -bogart-

    -bogart- Member of WHODAT Nation.

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2008
    Messages:
    3,192
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    South East Louisiana
    Please do not let fear keep you from help. Get stable and find the right program and work it girl. You can do it.
     
  6. skittledoo

    skittledoo Crazy naked dog lady

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2007
    Messages:
    13,667
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Dog Trainer CPDT-KA
    Location:
    Fredericksburg
    Haven't read enough to know if this has been asked, but why is it your job to handle the legalities of the house. Was the house in your name? I thought your parents were the ones that owned it which means they would be the ones that legally have to take care of that stuff... Unless things are run differently in Canada??? I just feel that with all you have going on right now, the last thing you need right now is the burden of your parents' house.
     
  7. crazedACD

    crazedACD Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2012
    Messages:
    3,048
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    Too Many
    Location:
    West Missouri
    Yes I meant the mental facility..I really think you should get that taken care of first and then move on to the rest of your life.

    I don't know much about it all, and I hate to say it, but they aren't going to allow someone to assume the mortgage that has no job or has just recently started a job :(. Usually you need to show stable job history (in the same job for a year or two) before they will approve.
     
  8. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

    Joined:
    May 16, 2009
    Messages:
    13,402
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Kennel Manager
    Location:
    Guelph, Ontario
    They're not going to give you any information. It's simple as that.
     
  9. ~Jessie~

    ~Jessie~ Chihuahua Power!

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2006
    Messages:
    19,665
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    5 Dogs
    Location:
    Central Florida
    Home Page:
    Stephy, I think you need to fully concentrate your efforts on YOURSELF and YOUR wellbeing.

    Your parents lost their house. THEY lost it. Not YOU. Before you can help anyone else, you need to help yourself.

    You said your dad is in hiding, and your mom/uncle (?) were behind having the house taken away. If none of them want the house, it seems out of your control anyway.

    Why wait until after the New Year to get yourself help? It seems like you're making excuses. Don't procrastinate. Getting help will only make it easier to secure a place to live/job.
     
  10. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

    Joined:
    May 31, 2012
    Messages:
    4,168
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    2
    Location:
    Gillett/Flower Mound TX
    But ... To have a job you must be willing to work for what you want, I don't know how old u are ... But it's a sad fact that in this world ... If you want something you're gonna have to be willing to make the tough uphill climb for it, we all did it & of a crazy, weird, ADHD sufferer like me can do it ... So can you.

    Everyone falls on hard times ... The important thing is what you DO about it.
     
  11. ihartgonzo

    ihartgonzo and Fozzie B!

    Joined:
    May 14, 2006
    Messages:
    5,903
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    2 puppers & 40+ Betta Splendens Fish
    Location:
    Northern California
    I know right... life has been super crazy. It seems like everyone I know is going through some intense life changes. We're doing good and getting through this, and can't wait to see our little guy. :)

    I'm sorry if I came off as judgmental at all. I could never judge you! I've done so many things I'm not proud of. The only difference is that you have the balls to talk about it. People think I'm completely pathetic for staying with a guy who cheated on me. But no one except for us knows what we've been through or how we feel about each other. I just want you to know how beautiful you are and how much more you deserve than what life has dealt you lately. Luckily you're very strong and existential about it, most people would not be able to deal with what you're going through. I'm so glad that was one night and you're moving onward and upward.
     
  12. AdrianneIsabel

    AdrianneIsabel Glutton for Crazy

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2010
    Messages:
    8,893
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    2 Pit bulls and 2 Malinois, We like to stay busy.
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Home Page:
    With The hell we're going through with our underwriter proving relations with our consigner leads me to believe, like it or not, you'll have no access to your parents home rights unless made public.

    Plus it's time to collect your stuff, not others.

    May I ask how old you are?
     
  13. StephyMei1112

    StephyMei1112 Blackout

    Joined:
    May 19, 2012
    Messages:
    922
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    The dog is an equal - but I've had alot of bfs...
    Location:
    No fixed abode.
    Very glad to hear about your family and baby =) Good luck with it all! You'll be a wonderful mother - now that is something I truly could never be able to manage and you are courageous, admirable, and valiant. Your son will be very lucky <3

    Oh, not at all. We have a saying in Cantonese: "Teen zee, dei zee, nei zee, ngoh zee.", literally; "sky knows, earth knows, you know, I know.". Whatever happened between you and him is between the both of you and God (or whatever you would like to call him/her/it) and the resolution/dealing of it only needs to stay within the same. That's it. What was between Emiley and I was the same. If those that are trusted enough to have information shared with them choose to judge, so be it...

    Funnily enough, suicide/the choice of dying is very empowering - being able to know that I have the option of quitting gives me hope, strength, and a sense of security/relief. It's strange - but it works in a twisted kind of way.

     
  14. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2003
    Messages:
    94,266
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    3, Bimmer, GSDX (m); Kharma, Fila Brasileiro (f);
    Location:
    Where the selas blooms
    Home Page:
    It works because it gives you control over something in the maelstrom, a choice that no one can usurp.
     
  15. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2004
    Messages:
    22,034
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Occupation:
    2 dogs
    Location:
    western Wa
    But what you don't realize is that you have more control over living and creating a better life for yourself than you think. Take that same sense or feeling of control and peace you have when thinking about the easy way out and apply it to making better choices to give you a happier time. The only difference is you have more parts to put together...like a puzzle with making good life choices. You need to use your creativity. Suicide is for wimps with no imagination. You are NOT like that Steph. I can tell from all the intelligent and insightful posts you've written. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. So, step up to the plate and do what you have to do to get healthier. Stop lingering in this funk and take the first step. That is, to get some mental healing from a professional. Everything else will be put back together easier than if you don't.
     
  16. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2003
    Messages:
    94,266
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    3, Bimmer, GSDX (m); Kharma, Fila Brasileiro (f);
    Location:
    Where the selas blooms
    Home Page:
    Straight up, I don't know that the healing Steph is looking for -- and needs -- is mental so much as it is emotional. She's taken a helluva series of emotional beatings. Sometimes it takes a little longer to get up after each one, but she's not the sort who can NOT get up. She's going to. And she'll do it under her own power too.

    The more we let others do for us, the more we let others do TO us. It doesn't apply to sincere acts of friendship, but it surely does to almost anything else. Everything comes with a price.
     
  17. Romy

    Romy Taxiderpy

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2006
    Messages:
    10,234
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Olympia, WA
    Going to a counseling center would be really good though, if anything because they can offer emotional support as well as have access to all kinds of resources for housing and other things. Once you find a really good counselor you click with, they're worth their weight in gold.
     
  18. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2003
    Messages:
    94,266
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    3, Bimmer, GSDX (m); Kharma, Fila Brasileiro (f);
    Location:
    Where the selas blooms
    Home Page:
    SO right! And don't write them all off or quit looking if you have to run through and discard a few blanks before you find the one you click with.
     

Share This Page