I'm working my first night as a hooker and I'm not upset about that - but I'm crushed about all the wrong things seemingly.... One of my few friends is being a huge bitch. She's being childish, demanding, self absorbed, and inconsiderate. When she was in a crisis - I put aside my squabbles with her and helped out and supported her as much as I could.....I shouldn't expect the same in return, it's stupid of me. Argue what you like about the bible but that do unto others as you would have them do unto you line is pure bullsh!t. I feel my heart's been pierced with a thousand hot dirty syringes, I felt like one more reason to keep on with life has fluttered away.... Katalin & Emiley. I miss those two people that were always forgiving, always loving, always comforting, always understanding, always, always, always just there. Never disappointing, never tiring in their efforts or affections for me, never hurtful, and never judgmental. They were pure love - now that they aren't around I don't feel love. I feel cynicism, I feel like cold, hard steel, I feel spiteful, bitter, angry, sarcastic, evil, empty, and vengeful. I'm tired though - truly exhausted..... I would cry but I haven't got the energy so to do - I've got one last client in about 20 minutes too. Can't have the eyeliner running just yet.