I'm miserable for all the wrong reasons

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by StephyMei1112, Dec 5, 2012.

  1. StephyMei1112

    StephyMei1112 Blackout

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    The dog is an equal - but I've had alot of bfs...
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    I'm working my first night as a hooker and I'm not upset about that - but I'm crushed about all the wrong things seemingly....

    One of my few friends is being a huge bitch. She's being childish, demanding, self absorbed, and inconsiderate. When she was in a crisis - I put aside my squabbles with her and helped out and supported her as much as I could.....I shouldn't expect the same in return, it's stupid of me. Argue what you like about the bible but that do unto others as you would have them do unto you line is pure bullsh!t. I feel my heart's been pierced with a thousand hot dirty syringes, I felt like one more reason to keep on with life has fluttered away....

    Katalin & Emiley.
    I miss those two people that were always forgiving, always loving, always comforting, always understanding, always, always, always just there. Never disappointing, never tiring in their efforts or affections for me, never hurtful, and never judgmental. They were pure love - now that they aren't around I don't feel love. I feel cynicism, I feel like cold, hard steel, I feel spiteful, bitter, angry, sarcastic, evil, empty, and vengeful. I'm tired though - truly exhausted.....

    I would cry but I haven't got the energy so to do - I've got one last client in about 20 minutes too. Can't have the eyeliner running just yet.
     
  2. RD

    RD Are you dead yet?

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    Stephy, my heart aches for you in the situation you're in presently. Hugs. I wish there was something I could do.

    When I first moved here, I heard a lot of people saying "it is what it is, and we do what we do". Thought it sounded stupid until I realized it was their way of saying that they do what they need to in order to get through a rough spot. Strong people do whatever it takes to survive and move onward, and you're a strong person. You'll move onward, reunite with Katalin and, i hope, feel love in your life again.
     
  3. -bogart-

    -bogart- Member of WHODAT Nation.

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    Hugs. I wish I had a room for ya here. Hugs again.
     
  4. Kilter

    Kilter New Member

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    You teach people how to treat you. It sucks, but this 'friend' is not worth your time, and taking up time that you can spend with better people. I'm only a province away but if you were closer, I'd be buying a coffee.

    Hang in there, you are strong.
     
  5. JoLeigh

    JoLeigh New Member

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    <Hugs> I wish You could take the room here. All can do is pray that things will get better for you and that you get your girl back soon, I understand doing what you have to do to survive I just hope you life gets happier soon.
     
  6. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    I am learning about why we seem to draw people like this into our lives right now. Hurts like crazy . . . but there is life on the other side. I can see it finally. It's a matter of don't stop rowing and throwing the jetsam out of the boat.

    You can do this. Kat is waiting for you.

    I think I can understand why the work isn't what's hard for you -- you have no expectations from clients. It's all defined. They can't hurt you. Only someone you care about can really hurt you in the deep places that take time to heal.
     
  7. CatStina

    CatStina SBT Lover!!

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    Are things different in Canada? How is everyone commenting being so cavalier about the fact that she has become a hooker, which is an extremely damaging and dangerous industry for someone to go into (especially if they have a history of mental illness)?
     
  8. Julee

    Julee UNSTOPPABLE

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    This was my thought, too...
     
  9. ~Jessie~

    ~Jessie~ Chihuahua Power!

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    This.

    I'm kind of... stunned... that people are okay with her prostituting herself.

    I've read most of Stephy's past threads, and I do NOT think that she's in the right mental state to be doing this. From pretty much the beginning on Stephy joining Chaz, her posts have been FULL of sadness. Her best friend committed suicide. Her family lost their house. She's young and homeless now.

    This is NOT a person who is in the right mental state to be selling her body. Stephy puts herself down and says that she doesn't deserve to be happy, that she's lost everything, etc. Allowing other people to just use her body for sex is going to just bring things lower and lower...
     
  10. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    This astounds me also. I hope you pick yourself up by your bootstraps, be the strong person I know you can be, and make some healthy choices for yourself. In large part, life is about the choices we make. Stop focusing on what others are doing to you, how rotten they are and take care of yourself. Those people aren't going to determine your happiness. (((hugs)))
     
  11. skittledoo

    skittledoo Crazy naked dog lady

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    This is my worry too. Stephy, I wish I was in a place to take you in and help you get back up on your feet. I know what it feels like to feel like you are being tossed through one storm after another and it sucks. I hope you will find your way out of this mess and soon.
     
  12. Fran27

    Fran27 New Member

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    I'm shocked someone would post this online personally. It's all I'm gonna say because I don't want to create more drama, but whatever the situation is, I hope you get some help.
     
  13. LindaJD

    LindaJD New Member

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    I am glad I am not the only one feeling like this.
     
  14. StephyMei1112

    StephyMei1112 Blackout

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    I'm not going to go into last night anymore nor am I going to go into a indepth analysis of Canadian prostitution laws on here. That's it.

    Thanks everyone.

    You know....the work really didn't touch me very much. It was very "wham, bam, thank ya' ma'am" throughout. I've seen and felt the worst of things - anything that a depraved john could think of doing to me couldn't come close to what's already in my heart.

    It's the "morning after" and I'm no worse for wear. Going to Burnaby today to pick up some forms for legal stuff about the house, mailing it - then I have a free afternoon. Perhaps I will stop by some trendy little doggie boutiques around the neighborhood and ridicule the fact that they sell GSD sized bikinis (not kidding). Whateva, gonna try to relax - and get reacquainted with myself.
     
  15. joce

    joce Active Member

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    Did you ever go to follow up after leaving the hospital?

    What exactly are you doing to get this home back? Who's name is it in?

    Go to a local mental health center and see who has dbt classes. You need a counselor no matter what's true.

    I had a coworker, educated, well liked, who worked with us at least four years. I would go with her to all these fancy places and she would get us to meet the important people there. She would buy horses at the drop of a hat to get behind the scenes of a show. It was nuts. I only found out later she would stop payment and only put on this front. There is the exact opposite to who likes the negative drama in their life. They need it. Others don't even have it and just make it up. I've been on forums were we report things and find out its a sixteen year old at home with mom and dad(which I always thought ten threads a day and typing style this was). Never in danger, laughing while people fret. One said roof caved in on home while husband beat her. I called bs and was mean. After more and more goes wrong you know something is up. Scammed a bunch of people and came back with a new story.

    There no doubt there are issues here. But give me a break! Don't encourage this! She was at a place to get help and no one encouraged her to!!! No one! Personality d/os don't realy benefit from treatment like other things but she may just be childish and need to learn coping skills. Playin with her dog only gets so far. She needs real professional help if she is thinking she is getting back a past home like this is a Disney movie with dad in jail and evil mom threatening people. This is to much!

    I meet people that tell me delusional things all day. Their angry parents or themselves call me to. Don't let it convince you of anything. Thank god the Internet is not involved for me.

    Encourage professional help. It is needed. Counseling especially. They will help with housing. I don't care what is or isn't true.
     
  16. sassafras

    sassafras mushinois

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    Yea, I gotta say, this is the bottom line. I have to admit that this improbable series of ever-escalating events is making my BS meter spike into the red and I'm not inclined to feed into that part of it.

    However, having said that, that doesn't mean I don't think that Stephy needs or deserves help. If it's all true, she needs help. If it's all made up, she needs help. Either way, advice on the specifics of hooking is probably less helpful than encouraging pursuit of some mental health assistance.

    So here: this is what a quick Google of "vancouver canada mental health services indigent" brings up. Something like 400 organizations, not all relevant. But I'd suggest while you're looking for a job and trying to get your house back from whoever seized it, you browse through that list and get some real help.
     
  17. Twin_Dogs

    Twin_Dogs New Member

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    Im from Canada. And Tim Horton's are always hiring, so is Mc Donald's. This is a choice you made. But there are plenty other options. Easy buck, yes. And to those asking, even here in Canada, PROSTITUTION is a high risk trade.

    I see old people working at the mall, cleaning tables. I see young teens working at fast food places. There are options.

    But you made your choice.
     
  18. SaraB

    SaraB New Member

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    This. I cannot even believe there are people on here supporting this. McDonald's is always hiring. I am sincerely disgusted by the support given of her choice. I'm still edging on the hope that it's not true.
     
  19. Floppy

    Floppy New Member

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    I think making people happy is an admirable profession. Good for you.
     
  20. TuffStuff

    TuffStuff Twin 1

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    This.
     

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