IF a middle school councilor
- Thread starter smkie
- Start date
it was inappropriate--even from the level of the counselor not wanting to put himself in a bad position--easy for anyone to misinterpret this body language. But, if it made You or her uncomfortable--then that should be addressed, and respected. And smkie--I will add (and you already know this in your heart)--never ever think someone else knows your kid better than you do. They may have the "education" and theories, but you know your child with your heart and intuition. Listen to it.
Interesting, I described this scenario to my husband and asked him what he thought, and he said "Well it's really poor judgement, and I don't think a parent would be overreacting to find it inappropriate, but within the context of being confrontational I don't think it was really out of line."
Wonder how much of a gender difference there is in the perception of this?
Wonder how much of a gender difference there is in the perception of this?
S
I'm going to go ahead and say that there seems to be quite a bit of an issue here when it comes to the fact that this was a man. Apparently, a touch on the knee from a man = creepy, and likely a child molester. If it was a WOMAN who did this, how many of you wanting to beat down this person's door and flag him as a pedophile would even bat an eye?
Like someone else said, humans use body language. Unfortunately, we're at a point where people don't even have to talk to each other anymore, and will literally sit not a couple feet apart and TEXT rather than actually speak, so does it really surprise anyone that actually physically touching another human being has become almost taboo?
The counselor put his hand on the kid's knee and some of you are acting like the guy was practically feeling up her inner thigh. You're TEACHING these children to over-sexualize everything, particularly when it comes to men.
Like someone else said, humans use body language. Unfortunately, we're at a point where people don't even have to talk to each other anymore, and will literally sit not a couple feet apart and TEXT rather than actually speak, so does it really surprise anyone that actually physically touching another human being has become almost taboo?
The counselor put his hand on the kid's knee and some of you are acting like the guy was practically feeling up her inner thigh. You're TEACHING these children to over-sexualize everything, particularly when it comes to men.
Not once have I stated I thought the touch was sexual or the guy was a molester -- that is something OTHER people are projecting on ME.
A touch can be inappropriately familiar without being sexual in nature! Seriously, children are not the property of adults to be handled however we wish. A child has as much right to personal boundaries as an adult does. And objecting to ONE type of touch doesn't magically equate to wanting to live in a world where there is no human contact. No more than thinking this touch was perfectly fine means that someone just wants to live in a world where anything goes and strangers can run up and grab my boobs whenever they like. Strawmen are fun!!
And yes, I would still find it inappropriate if the counselor were a woman.
A touch can be inappropriately familiar without being sexual in nature! Seriously, children are not the property of adults to be handled however we wish. A child has as much right to personal boundaries as an adult does. And objecting to ONE type of touch doesn't magically equate to wanting to live in a world where there is no human contact. No more than thinking this touch was perfectly fine means that someone just wants to live in a world where anything goes and strangers can run up and grab my boobs whenever they like. Strawmen are fun!!
And yes, I would still find it inappropriate if the counselor were a woman.
S
Did you really just equate a touch on the knee from someone confronting your child for lying to a random adult running up and grabbing your boobs? If it was a random person walking up and touching your kid's knee for no reason, I'D find it inappropriate. But it wasn't.
Perhaps you should teach your child not to lie, if she doesn't want to be confronted?
Perhaps you should teach your child not to lie, if she doesn't want to be confronted?
The gender of the counselor matters not. This is NOT ethical professional behavior.
And the knee -- even though it's still pushing personal space -- isn't the same as the inside of the thigh, even close to the knee.
Reporting it to the counselor's superior was the appropriate action, especially in light of finding out this wasn't an isolated incident. It's not like Smkie rushed to the DA's office to file sexual molestation charges.
And the knee -- even though it's still pushing personal space -- isn't the same as the inside of the thigh, even close to the knee.
Reporting it to the counselor's superior was the appropriate action, especially in light of finding out this wasn't an isolated incident. It's not like Smkie rushed to the DA's office to file sexual molestation charges.
I'm going out on a limb and will say it's probably much ado about nothing but it might be worth saying something to the school principal. Even if it's a FYI my daughter didn't feel comfortable in this situation.
Some people are just touchier feelier than others. I have a co worker who can't talk to you at a table unless she's tapping your hand about something. I have a supervisor who is a shoulder grabber/hand shaker and probably would be a knee grabber as well if the opportunity arose.
Some people are just touchier feelier than others. I have a co worker who can't talk to you at a table unless she's tapping your hand about something. I have a supervisor who is a shoulder grabber/hand shaker and probably would be a knee grabber as well if the opportunity arose.
You have completely, absolutely missed my point, because no I didn't equate those things AT ALL. Which was that one statement/conclusion was just as ridiculous to draw from one's opinion on knee-touching as the other.
It would be nice if we lived in a world where twelve year old children were always confident enough to stand up to people in authority over them. This is getting perilously close to "blame the victim" mentality for my tastes. (ETA: And NO, before someone projects this on me too, I'm not saying that the child in the OP was a "victim"... I'm using it as a general term for the general situation I'm quoting.)
It would be nice if we lived in a world where twelve year old children were always confident enough to stand up to people in authority over them. This is getting perilously close to "blame the victim" mentality for my tastes. (ETA: And NO, before someone projects this on me too, I'm not saying that the child in the OP was a "victim"... I'm using it as a general term for the general situation I'm quoting.)
Ok I jut went back and read the "inside and front" part about were he touched her, and honestly, it sounds like he went to touch the knee. The leaning in part? Sounds like he was trying to make eye contact. I just true t on myself, and when you touch the knee, yah, your hand may brush the inside. I can only assume it would be more so for a child.