I wish my feelings didn't get hurt so easily :(

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by nancy2394, Aug 27, 2012.

  1. nancy2394

    nancy2394 New Member

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    I get along with most people. I've developed some friendships with people at work outside of the work environment. I've been there when some of the girls have gone out of their way to sign up when I'm working on the schedule because they like to work with me. I'm definately a "team player" and go out of my way to help others. I can be lazy at home from time to time... but i'm not lazy at work. I always do my job and often go above and beyond. If I know labor and delivery, OB or peds is drowning and I"m not busy, I offer to help them. I also do a lot for the nursery. I spend my money and buy ribbon to make hair bows for the girl babies. I make hats, hand mits and booties for a lot of the babies. There is a lot more I do... but I don't want to sound like I'm tooting my horn, I'm just trying to provide an image of what I do on a regular basis at work.

    I called my work last night to talk to the girl working because she ordered a crochet purse from me and I wanted to know if she liked it. We got to talking and she let it slip that someone made the comment "no one likes to work with nancy" it broke my heart that someone would say such a thing. I don't understand why someone would even say that. I tried not to let it bother me, but I ended up bawling my eyes out over it. I've been trying to just let it go and not thing about it, but it seems to have invaded my every thought :(

    I did find out who made the comment. It's the one co worker I work with that is very lazy. She spends hours out of the shift outside smoking. She's not a team player. She will take the easy patients every chance she gets to avoid having to actually "work" She doesn't help clean the unit or stock. She doesn't make any of the education or admit packets that have to be made on a regular basis. She will literally sit there and read her book or play on her kendall (sp?) while the rest of us work.

    The ironic part is that i have been on vacation for the last two weeks and have had no interactions with her. It puzzles me to understand why she suddenly makes a comment like that. I shouldn't care what she thinks of me.... and I don't think i really care, but i don't like the fact that she's making these kind of comments to other people. It will make me feel like people are talking about me behind my back or wondering what i do or don't do to cause people to not want to work with me.

    I was happy to find out that people have been defending me and pointing out to that person who made the comment that they do enjoy working with me. So..... that makes me feel better. I want to confront this person and find out why she said what she did.. but if I do that, she will know that the person she made the comment to shared it with me. I'm not sure what to do about it. I'd like to just put it behind me and move on... but i seem to be stewing on it :(

    mean people suck!
     
  2. ACooper

    ACooper Moderator

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    I understand Nancy (((((HUGS)))))

    My feelings get easily hurt too, then I get defensive and angry to salve the hurt......which of course normally makes things worse :(

    I say (and it's easier to say than do, LOL) if you know she's lazy and not a good person/employee, let it alone. Let her spout off what she likes.........sounds like your co-workers know what she is. Another thing though, the person who 'let it slip' sounds as though they like pot stirring. Just something to keep in mind when speaking to her ;)
     
  3. nancy2394

    nancy2394 New Member

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    normally i would definately think the person who let it slip was pot stirring. But in this particular situation... it was a slip. She is one of the kindest and most sincere people I have ever met in my life. She's a true genuine person who doesn't cause trouble. She felt so bad when she realized she had said it and how it affected me. Now, the person she heard it from might be a pot stirrer...lol
     
  4. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    I'm the same way and one thing has helped me keep things in perspective: "consider the source."

    If it's not someone you have respect for, fsck 'em.

    Better to let your co-workers confront her when she says it to them. It tells the story . . . and lets you know who your friends are.
     
  5. Baxter'smybaby

    Baxter'smybaby swimming upstream

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    have to agree with this--if you know your work ethic, your worth as an employee--then let that speak for itself. People who talk about others are the ones who have the issue. Let it go, and just do your best--which is what is sounds like you do. And if this person is lazy, etc. --then you probably DON"T want to work with her--lol, so it's her loss.
     
  6. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    She's probably jealous of your work ethic and ability. People who say things like that who are themselves inferior, try to compensate for their own skewed feelings of insecurity. It's like most dogs that bite are really the insecure ones. Like my mom always said, "she's more to be pittied than sensored."

    If she's not someone you respect or like, she and her words mustn't matter. Just like that quote."those who matter don't mind. Those who mind don't matter."

    I hope you can reduce the significance of this twit soon and move on. Hope you feel better soon. You should. I bet you're an awesome employee and person.
     
  7. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    ((HUGS)) Don't let those people get to you.

    my employer described me as ...chipper lol I smile, I talk, I'm friendly, I go the extra mile.
    and I once heard another co-worker call me a "Little Miss Sunshine Pain in the ass" I felt so bad.. I was quiet all day, I really felt awful.. like I shouldn't be the way that I am.
    but at the end of the day, you should do what feels right and what is best for your job. The girl that said that thing about me was MEAN, plain and simple..and frankly, I wouldn't want to be like her/want her approval.

    Misery loves company. And anybody who can't pursue their dreams or be happy will be DETERMINED to ruin yours. Keep your head up :)
     
  8. nancy2394

    nancy2394 New Member

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    Thanks for the support :) sometimes it's nice to get something off your chest and have others help you put it in perspective. She is insignificant to me. I actually try to avoid working with her because i know i will have my patient load as well as hers for as often as she disappears to go smoke. I'll be able to put it behind me. It just hurts my feelings.
     
  9. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    She probably said it because your good work ethic makes her BAD work ethic that much more obvious. She doesn't like working with you because it highlights how little she actually does :) she's threatened by you.

    ((((HUGS))))
     
  10. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    Yep...threatened is a good way to describe it.
     
  11. LindaJD

    LindaJD New Member

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    You know what, people are going to talk and not everyone is going to like you. Hold your head up and take pride in your job, who cares if 1 person out of many don't like you. I know there are a few at my work that don't like me, their problem not mine. I take pride in my work and if their laziness effects my job, I am sure to let them know it.
     
  12. nancy2394

    nancy2394 New Member

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    the odd thing is that she usually does like me. Even though she's lazy and has poor work ethics... as a person, she's a likable person and usually easy to get along with. She just frustrates me because she doesn't pull her weight and never goes that extra mile. So.. as a whole, i'd prefer not to have to work with her. It's unfortunate she's like that because she could be such a good nurse. She knows what she's doing... she does take good care of her patients when she's not out smoking. I'm at a cross roads with her. I'm still licking my wounds from what she said, and yet... I feel bad for her. I'm wondering if she's having issues in her private life that are spilling over into her work. She's been saying negative things about work in general and jumping all over people for all kinds of things.
     
  13. ihartgonzo

    ihartgonzo and Fozzie B!

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    Honestly, no matter how amazing you are at your job and no matter how many of your co-workers love you, there is ALWAYS going to be some one who doesn't like you. Especially working in a huge facility like a hospital, with so many employees and tension/stress running high!

    The fact that some one told you means that people don't agree with that and they care about you! Personally, if I heard some one said that about me, I wouldn't confront them. I would, however, make them question if you knew. I'd be incredibly obvious about being OVERLY friendly, OVERLY helpful, and do "special" things for them like make them brownies. :) Kill them with kindness and make them feel bad about talking sh*t.

    When I worked at the Petsmart Pet Hotel, I was friends with like 90% of the staff. I worked there for 4 years and was the "cool manager" that everyone wanted to work with. There was one assistant manager who was jealous of me for getting a higher position than him even though he was 10 years older, and had worked there twice as long as me. HE wanted our co-workers to come to his parties, but they'd be hanging out with me. HE wanted to be the cool manager, but people regularly complained to corporate that he was a bully, violent with dogs, and sexually harassed girls. He would talk crap about me to the other employees and he'd tell on me/make up lies to try to get me fired. Jealous people are really evil, but it has nothing to do with you, it's just them wanting to start drama, get attention and serve their own agenda. She's really trying to deflect from the fact that she is not a good worker by gossiping, but in the end you KNOW you're a harder worker & a better person and that's all that matters.
     
  14. Brattina88

    Brattina88 Active Member

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    I feel your pain! I am in a very very similiar situation right now :(
    So... (((((hugs)))))) try to listen to the people who are defending you / telling the TRUTH ;) That's what counts.
     

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