I did'nt love him ):

Discussion in 'Dog Stories' started by Love4Pits, Feb 24, 2005.

  1. Love4Pits

    Love4Pits Playful Husky Pup

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    This is a story/tribute to Willy one of the touhgest dogs i have ever owned i did'nt love him until the end but i am a stronger person because him.

    My dad got Willy when he was 3 years old from anouther Musher at a local race who was hard up on money and was selling some of his best dogs. Willy being one of them he was trained as a lead dog and had yet to lose a race and so my dad bought him. Willy was a beautiful dog and thats putting it lightly it was a cream/white color with peircing blue eyes. I was 18 at the time and wasent living at home anymore but saw Willy often. And all i can say was Willy was a mean ol cuss if you wern't the one handling him he would bark and growl and lunge at. He had alot of dominence issues and my dad decided to have him neutered since he really did'nt want to pass along Willy's bad traits to anyone else and he hoped it would calm Willy down WRONG. Willy did not change one bit but still one alot of races and was my dads pride and joy. When I was 20 I was dealing with my pack which was mainly young inexperienced dogs. So my dad offered to "give" me Willy who was now five and still an awsome racing dog. I accepted knowing he could help Hitch and Tracker whip my team into shape.

    I of course had no idea what i was getting myself into. Willy liked to try and start fights with Tracker and Hitch and also liked to nip at me and drag me. he was a mean old thing who was only truly happy when he was running at the head of the team. I always said i hated Willy but he did win me alot of races and when he ran it was like poetry in motion I loved to look at him. He wasent a dog to roll on his back to have his belly rubbed or nose your hand for a pet infact up until the end he never did. And so anytime i could pet him I did and I remember he had the softest Downy fur. But those were his good points and thats about it. If you took him out on a light sled on his own and you fell off and got your foot caught and so you were being drug he would'nt even stop and once he did he would not look remorseful. More like if your not good enough to stay on then your not good enough for me.

    When I was 23 and Willy was 8 I was putting on his harness when I felt a strange lump in his chest area. When i took him to the vet they did tests and explained that he had cancer and it was rapidly damaging his heart. They told me the usual options Put Him Down, Pay for Surgery, or put him on meds to try to make he last fews months as comfortable as possible. For some reason no matter how much i disliked Willy I just could'nt give up on him. I asked about the surgery but found it would be terribly expensive and there were no promises that it would heal him so in other words no matter what Willy was going to die with in months. I decided to go the meds rout I took him for his last run that Saterday. Man if i thought Willy was mean before I knew nothing when it came to his retirement. He hated it I moved him into the house and had to keep him in the laundry room because he was acting out way to much towards me and the other dogs. But as Willy got sicker he got calmer and I started to tote him from room to room with me. He wasent any nicer he still would let out a low growl at times and often stared off into space. One night I was petting him and he wasent responding as usual and i started to cry and said to him " why can't you just enjoy my company i really wish I loved you but i just don't".

    One night Willy took a turn for the worse and would'nt eat or drink or get up from his dog bed in the dining room. I could'nt get him to the vet until the next morning but decided I would stay up all night with him. I was sitting with him watching some late night tv when i felt someone licking my hand. I looked down and it was Willy!!! I imediatly teared up as he nosed my hand and i started to pet him i sat there petting and talking to him until morning the whole time with him softly wagging his tail. I hate to carry him to the car and inot the vets office knowing why i was there. When it cam time for that shot that would end Willy's pain I kneeled down by his head to give him one last pet an when i did he gave me alittle lick on the nose I started to cry and stood up and said " Goodbye Willy i love you". Its sad that it took him weakening for him and I to learn to love each other. But i like to beleive we always loved each other maybe we just did'nt know how to express it.

    RIP Willy
    you mean ol cuss lol
     
  2. Gustav

    Gustav Don't encourage me..

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    I'm sure he knew that you loved and cared for him!!
     
  3. Saje

    Saje Island dweller

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    Chaz! We really need a crying 'smilie'

    <sniff>
     
  4. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    You and Willy just had to learn to love each other on different terms. That respect and admiration you always had for Willy was what he needed for you to give him; at the end he gave you the outward affection you needed. You both understood each other, you just didn't know it until the last.

    Willy sounds like a memorable character and one who taught you a great deal about living life on your own terms.
     
  5. Barb04

    Barb04 Love my pets Staff Member

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    Willy sounded like a great dog and one that needed you and you needed him. We all express our love in different ways, but just in reading your tribute, I can tell how much you loved him inside. Willy was probably the same way. He is in your heart forever.
     
  6. Love4Pits

    Love4Pits Playful Husky Pup

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    You hit it right on the head Renee :).

    I have a beautiful photo of Willy I took a ways back of him sitting on a bit of a hill in the field just looking off ears pricked and just starting off in the distance probley wishing he was running along the trail. i never thought much of the pic before but after Willy passed it became one of my most prized possessions.
     
  7. smkie

    smkie pointer/labrador/terrier Staff Member

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    Sometimes the ones' hardest to love are the ones that need it the most..and this sound like you gave him the love that he needed..love comes in all forms..sometimes we do and we don't even want to admit it to ourselves, but it is still there...and you did.
     
  8. blue

    blue Jerk.

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    That made even a mean ol cuss like me tear up.

    Everybody else seems to have said it better than me so Ill leave that at that.
     
  9. Love4Pits

    Love4Pits Playful Husky Pup

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    finally found a pic of him while going through my box. This was him getting a bit of meat you can tell he's not too fond of me just by the look in his eyes.
    [​IMG]
     
  10. smkie

    smkie pointer/labrador/terrier Staff Member

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    wow..he is an intense looking dog, gorgous too. i am glad you had him in your life!
     
  11. Iluvmyanimals05

    Iluvmyanimals05 New Member

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    Hi,
    You really seemed to love Willy ever since you got him you took him to races and pet him and when he was sick you stayed up all night and took him to the vet and got him med. if you didn't love him you wouldn't give him med. and put him down when he was misserable. I am very sorry he died. It was better that you put him down that make him be misserable till he died.
    ~Mandy~
     
  12. avenlee

    avenlee New Member

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    Glad you bumped the thread up. I hadn't had the chance to read it before now.

    What a dog! I've learned through life that when I look back on my life, the people that I thought at the time totally awful, are the ones you admire and remember later. eg. my Jr. High Vice Principal that kept busting me for skipping school (kids! don't try that at home :D ) He used to bust my butt everytime he could, BUT he gave me respect abd I learned alot from him.

    I think that applies in this case. So very glad you shared the story with me. :)
     

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