How would you feel in this situation?

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by Paige, Jan 13, 2012.

  1. Paige

    Paige Let it be

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2007
    Messages:
    7,359
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    We talked about it last night. He actually brought it up and asked me if it made me uncomfortable as my friend Breana (best friend from back home, I talk to her two hours every day) told him off for it. I said I find it odd and wish he'd make his own friends instead because he's making the situation uncomfortable for me. He then asked if I wanted him to not go.

    and I really am not the type of person to make a choice for someone else, so I told him that's up for him to decide but he knows how I feel about it.
     
  2. Bahamutt99

    Bahamutt99 Dafuq?

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2006
    Messages:
    2,365
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    2 dogs
    Location:
    High Ridge, MO
    Home Page:
    I've never been good at "playing the game," but I would also suggest that if you acted like you didn't care and distance yourself a bit, maybe he would wonder why you didn't care and then gravitate back towards you. Hell, I don't know. Like I said, I'm no good at this.
     
  3. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2005
    Messages:
    28,563
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Occupation:
    3
    Location:
    Lancaster, PA
    Home Page:
    Glad you talked about it. the best thing you can do in a situation like this is be HONEST. if it bugs you... TELL him. it doesn't matter if you are being irrational or not. He still needs to know how you feel and if you feel off about it then the best thing to do is tell him it makes you feel off and why it makes you feel off.

    if you don't tell him how you feel then you can't very well be upset if he went. He's not a mind reader and even if he were... it's not fair to anyone to play guessing games in a relationship. total and brutal honesty even if it's embarassing or irrational or whatever the case may be.

    so I'm glad you guys talked and you told him how you feel. Now it's up to him to decide how he wants to proceed now that he knows your feelings on the issue.
     
  4. Paige

    Paige Let it be

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2007
    Messages:
    7,359
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    He doesn't get it and is making me sound like I'm being crazy.
     
  5. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2005
    Messages:
    28,563
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Occupation:
    3
    Location:
    Lancaster, PA
    Home Page:
    how frustrating. I'm sorry.
     
  6. Paige

    Paige Let it be

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2007
    Messages:
    7,359
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    He's being really weird about it. I guess my friend Breana told him off for it because he brought it up out of the blue to her. He doesn't ever talk to her unless we've had a fight and he wants her opinion.

    Now I find it sketchy that'd he'd talk to her out of the blue because he know it'll get back to me. It feels like he's trying to cover his tracks now.

    I went from being like "DUDE BACK OFF MY FRIEND" to "You're being sketchy" within a few days. Blah!
     
  7. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2004
    Messages:
    22,034
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Occupation:
    2 dogs
    Location:
    western Wa
    I think it's strange that he, of all people (being quiet and less sociable in general) would want to strike up a friendship with someone he doesn't even know at all because she's "cute." I wouldn't like it. But it may be true what Bahamutt says as far as keeping a little low key until and unless it materializes into something. It would be a red flag to me. I hope this doesn't become a trend with him. Best of luck.
     
  8. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2003
    Messages:
    94,266
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    3, Bimmer, GSDX (m); Kharma, Fila Brasileiro (f);
    Location:
    Where the selas blooms
    Home Page:
    Sometimes being rational turns into rationalizing before you realize you've crossed that line.

    This is all sounding WAY too familiar to me. Almost verbatim.
     
  9. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2008
    Messages:
    5,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 birds, and 1 horse
    Location:
    A hole in the bottom of the sea.
    It sounds very sketchy to me....
     
  10. Bahamutt99

    Bahamutt99 Dafuq?

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2006
    Messages:
    2,365
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    2 dogs
    Location:
    High Ridge, MO
    Home Page:
    I can tell you that of the guys I know who are in successful relationships, they generally have no problem calling other girls "cute." They and their wives/girlfriends may even point out cute members of the opposite sex to one another. BUT! They do not then seek those people out and form friendships with them which exclude their partner. That is nervous-making. I would probably back off and watch discreetly. But I'm also single, so I'm operating from a nothing-to-lose frame of reference. ETA: I think no matter what you do at this point, its all going to depend on him. He knows how you feel. Up to him to man up and act right.
     
  11. Paige

    Paige Let it be

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2007
    Messages:
    7,359
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Yeah he decided not to go because I said I found it both straining on our relationship and my friendship with her. The undertone seemed really off and I'm not a paranoid person. Said it wasn't worth it if I am feeling any kind of discomfort.

    So all is well that ends well. :)
     
  12. ~Tucker&Me~

    ~Tucker&Me~ and Spy.

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2005
    Messages:
    4,940
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    2 Dog, 1 cat, 2 lovebirds, fish galore
    Location:
    B.C.
    I think it's good you guys worked it out. I bolded these two statement because of him asking you what you wanted him to do. I disliked it immensely when my BF asked me that about a situation we had. After you make it clear how you feel, don't pick a choice for him because imo, that is him getting out of it the easy way. You are both adults, so he should be able to make a decision about the issue and shouldn't need you to pick for him. If he picked not to hang out (which he did), that means he obviously values your opinions and cares enough to respect your feelings. If he chose to go, I think that would definitely be a sign that maybe something is not quite clicking in the relationship.

    Either way, sounds like things worked out, and good for you for standing your ground on that ^ and making him decide what action to take himself.
     

Share This Page