Step 1: Wait until Food Lady is looking at Chaz and not you. Step 2: Jump onto the kitchen counter and grab a box of cherry jello mix. Chew it thoroughly so your mouth is coated in red powder. Step 3: Hide the box. Step 4: Get her attention by spinning and squeaking. Step 5: Proceed to the water bowl and watch her face as you give the illusion of your mouth gushing blood into the clear water. When she gasps in horror, grab the jello box and tilt your head like a doofus so she knows she's been punk'd. I'm taking her back to the pound tomorrow.