How do you feel about momentous (good or bad) being delievered via FB?

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by Dekka, Oct 5, 2012.

  1. Dekka

    Dekka Just try me..

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    In a way I get why it was done. But my first cousin died of a heart attack last night. I learnt of this via PM on FB along with my family and close family friends.

    I made sure I called my parents this morning. I didn't want my dad finding out his brother's son died over FB. I just think that is mean, not sure why... I just feel as personal a touch as possible when relaying such news is best.

    How do guys feel about serious stuff over social media?
     
  2. k9krazee

    k9krazee Active Member

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    I just found out this morning on FB that my (ex) uncle just died.

    Not a fan.
     
  3. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

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    Not sure. Depends on what it was, and who.
     
  4. yoko

    yoko New Member

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    Depends who it is, how close I am to that person, and the situation.

    If someone looses someone they love and are having trouble dealing with it I'm not going to get pissed off they didn't take time to call me personally. I see nothing wrong with a pm. I was kinda expecting it to have been a wall post when i first entered this thread.
     
  5. StephyMei1112

    StephyMei1112 Blackout

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    I agree with Yoko.

    Very much depends on whom it is, how close they are to me, what's going on etc.

    Everyone that's close to me though isn't updated on my activities, whereabouts, news etc on Facebook - we text, call or see each other on a regular basis for all that. So any major happenings I would be informed of in a more direct/personal manner anyways. I would be startled if one of them sent me a piece of incredibly huge news over FB or Weibo - but would understand if it was more convenient/comfortable for whatever reason.
     
  6. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

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    When my grandmother passed away, we alerted those who cared -- her children (including a couple that didn't actually care), her siblings, and then the grandchildren who would have cared, as well as her close friends.

    Anybody else found out via Facebook, or we left the great-grandchildren to learn from their parents. Mostly through statuses, "RIP Nanny, we'll miss you" etc. Then again, in that case we're talking about hundreds of people that needed to be notified, most of whom didn't really care.

    More than once I've found out a cousin or somebody died from Facebook... I would definitely expect an uncle/aunt to get a phone call, though.
     
  7. Lyzelle

    Lyzelle New Member

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    I'm not really a fan of it. Possibly because in the past, DH has abused the heck out of it. He never talked to me about anything. I had to stalk his facebook wall to know when he was happy, when he was ticked off about something, any new announcements about his job, etc., etc.

    I hate social media. There are some things you just SHOULDN'T post on facebook before making that personal connection. Huge life changes are one of those times. I found out I was being moved to Italy over facebook. That's ridiculous. So is announcing a death.

    It's annoying. People are completely disconnected from their close family and friends. CLOSE. More distant family and friends who don't really care, okay, then who cares? Why does it even need to be on facebook then to begin with?
     
  8. Shai

    Shai & the Muttly Crew

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    I think it depends on how it's done.

    Like when my college roommate died. those who were close to her were called and it was given a couple days for the news to spread amidst those circles...but at the same time it's college and people move around so much and lose touch so several days after she passed, her family posted on her FB "I'm so sorry to anyone who is finding out this way, but for those who don't know, _____ passed away last Friday..." and followed it up with a few important details and when/where the funeral arrangements would be so folks could make arrangements to pay their respects.

    Honestly I think it was handled well, though I was pretty much a mess at the time and did not find out via FB so my perception could be skewed.
     
  9. sassafras

    sassafras mushinois

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    I think it's a reasonable way to spread the word to a lot of people who the family may not know closely enough to notify in other ways. But I do think immediate family and close friends should be told personally in another way before the word goes out on FB.

    A lot of stuff people put on FB astonishes me, but I was old by the time FB even came along so I think it's sort of one of those... social conventions change kind of things.
     
  10. Greenmagick

    Greenmagick New Member

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    I think a PM is the same as a mass email. Its not the gentlest way to tell but depending on the situation I can very easily see why people would choose that method.
     
  11. speedydogs

    speedydogs Allons-y!

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    I think it's totally fine for good news - if you had a baby/are getting married/whatever it's the easiest way to reach the largest number of people.

    For bad news though, I'm not a fan. I first found out that my close friend had died over FB - saw the "RIP" posts before I got the phone call. For me it made it that much harder because I was in denial for a while and could imagine it was some sick joke. It sucked. Maybe that's just my experience though and there are some situations where it would make sense.
     
  12. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    I think those close to the situation (good or bad) should get a proper PERSONAL phone call or other way of informing them. And it should be made sure they know FIRST. No-one should have to find out via facebook and find out they are the 300th person to know this bit of news.
    or worse. get a phone call from someone assuming they knew and finding out through that. This is especially awful when it's a death.

    General public/distant friends/old co-workers etc.. I think facebook is fine. You can't call everyone.

    Even if it's a good thing. I would not feel comfortable with my old college room-mate and some girl I did a project with once knowing about my engagement before like.. my mother because they just happen to be on facebook more.
     
  13. boneyjean

    boneyjean Stinky Butt

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    When my mother passed away recently, it was expected as she was in hospice for 3 weeks. I texted or called my family and the friends who had been there through the whole journey with us. The next day I did post it on FB because I have a lot of cyber friends who have been praying along with me, as well as a lot of friends in real life that I don't see or talk to often, but did want updates. I think it depends on the situation and how close you are to that individual.
     
  14. Taqroy

    Taqroy Active Member

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    I don't like bad news being spread over facebook. My cousin posted about the death of my great aunt as soon as she got off the phone from being told - my Dad didn't even know about it yet. Hell, no one on my side of the family knew about it. And when I called her out on it she said "WELL, it's not my fault no one talks to each other in this family." Uh, actually it is your fault for being an attention ***** and posting it on fb right away. (Sorry, apparently I'm still mad about this.)

    If it was done the way Shai outlined I don't think I would have a problem with it. That's not usually what I see though. :(

    Good news (as long as the important people are notified first) I have no problem with.
     
  15. ACooper

    ACooper Moderator

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    Surprisingly, with so many things I really hate about FB.......I'm ok with that aspect of it. Not a fan of posting it on the WALL before the closest ones are PMd though.

    Would I want to hear my child, grandparent, parent or sibling died that way? No........otherwise, I am perfectly fine with PRIVATE mass notification.

    I've had to be the one notifying before and it's heart wrenching for the notifyer......REPEATEDLY. Each household is going to ask the same questions, expect the same recounting, and you (the notifyer) have to relive it through the facts/details/story over and over. If there was a way to do one mass phone call, I'd say that would be the ticket, but there isn't.

    Yep. I'm ok with it because I can put myself in the shoes of the other side. Also, for the record if/when something happens to my mom I won't be calling all the family members. The ones who show they care about her ALIVE will be notified directly, all the rest will see it on FB and they can get GLAD in the same pants they got MAD in. *shrugs*
     
  16. Brattina88

    Brattina88 Active Member

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    NOT A FAN.
    Last week I found out my great grandma died on FB.... from my Mom of all people. Well, technically, I started getting texts "I'm sorry for your loss Dana" and stuff like that and I was like WTF *enter panic mode* until I got online and saw my Mom had posted it on her wall. I was NOT happy. I had even called my Mom (she didnt answer) and asked my brother before I got on the computer. :mad:

    Agreed :)
     
  17. darkchild16

    darkchild16 We are Home.

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    With dads accident My stepmom handed out phone numbers to her friends surrounding her and had them call. I didnt find out right away because it was a phone tree but Kerry really COULDNT do it because of how things were going at the hospital. (she wanted to wait until they got him "stable")

    Friend called our uncle, who called mom who told us.

    It hurt at the time but her and I talked about it later and she told us point blank at that point she could NOT handle telling us. She knew it would break our hearts and we would have questions and she just COULDNT do it.

    Im for FB after important people know.
     
  18. Catsi

    Catsi New Member

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    I'm not a huge fan, I would miss a lot of momentous stuff if my family posted in only on FB... well at least I'd be getting told stuff second hand a lot because I am barely on FB. There are just some things that I don't think are appropriate to post, but that doesn't mean that others don't and I guess in reality I'll just have to get used to this kind of thing (it doesn't mean I'll ever think it's ok to solely announce a death on facebook though).

    I'm more concerned about what people post on facebook regarding legal proceedings - potentially prejudicing cases. I'm sure people don't realise a lot of the time (I guess it's problematic when social media is so new, relatively so) and it's also hard when the media does similar things when they should know better. But something needs to be done to make people aware of the issues - the police dept shouldn't have to issue statements asking people to refrain from talking about issues that may see a case thrown out.
     
  19. On the receiving end, I'm completely fine with it. For one thing, I'm not overly sympathetic or caring. Plus I'm really bad at dealing with people (especially those in need of comfort), and I find those conversations/announcements very awkward and uncomfortable.

    But if I had some bad news to share, I wouldn't use Facebook to do it simply because I know most people aren't like me.
     
  20. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

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    What's the difference between seeing it on Facebook vs finding out when you read the paper? I mean, Facebook would be quicker...

    ETA: I guess I mean like... do you think Facebook is not ok and would rather read it in the paper?
     

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