How can I stop this?

Discussion in 'Dog Training Forum' started by chugalug, Dec 27, 2005.

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  1. chugalug

    chugalug New Member

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    Amy, thank you for your obvious deep insight. I appreciate your post and it gives me much to think about.

    And Yes, Zoom made the same point about introducing dogs on neutral ground which is something that I hadn't considered before.

    Your point about the professional trainer has me thinking. Perhaps that's something I need to look into as a potential solution to my problem. Thanks once again Amy.
     
  2. amymarley

    amymarley New Member

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    Just make sure you find a trainer that has aggression background and behavior issues... you may get a freebee consult with your dog. Let us know what happens.
     
  3. chugalug

    chugalug New Member

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    Amy, we've had the dog since he was 6 weeks old and he has never been in the house so he isn't being deprived of something that he had before.

    Thanks for taking the time to consider and to understand. I have had, seen and heard of many, many labs who at 2 years of age were absolute terrors and didn't settle down until well past 3 years of age. I am very fortunate to have such a well behaved and very intelligent dog but is he going to sleep with me in my bed like many doggie do gooders on here do? no fricken way.

    I am willing to compromise but the dog won't. Perhaps if I let him in sometimes or let him on the patio sometimes or sometimes do something else. But I know that's not going to work. The dog isn't willing to compromise. He wants it all and wants it whenever he wants it. I can't accept that and never will. I can fence off the patio and I guess that will be one problem less but that's not what I want. The dog would be a closer member of the family if he abided by the rules, something which he refuses to do.
     
  4. amymarley

    amymarley New Member

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    Wow, I believe I just read that you are from Australia.... Love the accent, it's the sexiest accent in the world to me! (sorry, just had to say it...)
    Again, I don't want to sound like a "bunny hugger" here, which I will hug a bunny any time..., but I know bounderies, as well.

    Again, you must do what is right for your and what is right for you dog. If you are unhappy and you dog is unhappy....then you must find another solution. I have to say from your reply, that your dog wants to be with you and your family, if you refuse that, then you are going to ruin a good dog. Again, another course of action is getting another dog so he has a companion. Dogs are pack animals and most like to be around people or other animals. Also, labs are very smart, loyal and protective, they want a piece of the action. It's your job, as the pack leader to give what they need or find another solution.
    Just a question....not trying to intrude, why don't you want this fablous pup in your house?
    Anyway, you are out "here" looking for answers, so you must care, I hope it all works out.
    Amy
     
  5. amymarley

    amymarley New Member

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    Again, your dog is 2, still a baby.... but more "advanced" than a 2 year old child (in certain circumstances)...but 2 regardless. I have yet to find a 2 year old of any species to "compromise." He's 2!!!!! You are lucky to have a "hyper" lab at 2 that does as well as he does. He's a baby..... and as all babies, he wants to be treated as such. From what you say, you sound as if you have a very good dog on your hands, and I hope you let him reach his full potential, which won't happen unless you give a bit. He is showing you the signs, you just have to read them correctly.
    Anyway, again, I just hope you both find common ground and live a great life.
     
  6. chugalug

    chugalug New Member

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    I'm happy to answer that question. Right now, the dogs outside. I have but one problem to deal with. Bring him inside, let's see, my wife is bordering on compulsive obsessive when it comes to keeping the house clean so bring the dog in is going to cause marital tension and before it's asked, the wife has been loyal for 22 years. No dog can beat that. She's staying put.

    Then there's the smell, need to toilet train, the risk of damaging valuable objects inside, drool and licking over fine polished timber....I can go on but I'm sure you get the picture. It's just not possible Amy under any circumstances. Even my children, aged 12 and 15 are repulsed by the idea of having an animal in their house but love the dog where he belongs...outside.
     
  7. chugalug

    chugalug New Member

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    I hope so too because it's not that often that a dog as good as this comes along. One and only one behavior is putting it all at risk. If only he'd keep off the patio, we'll all get along tremendously.

    I'm going to consult a professional trainer for sure. Thanks for that advice. I'll screen them first and look for someone that's solution orientated and not someone that's going to tell I have to sleep with my dog if I truely love it.

    Me too, I desperately hope there is a solution. There's still a few hours of daylight to go so between posts, I went out into the backyard and rolled around the lawn with my dog. I had tears well up in my eyes at that moment from reflecting on the posts from those bigoted people who told me that if I didn't conform to their view of the world, that I was unfit to own a dog and incapable of loving one. I do love him and as I looked into his beautiful dark brown eyes, I said to him, thanks to the wonderful people on the dog forum, there are now a few more options for us to try. With that, I kissed him and now I'm here responding to you. Thank you Amy.
     
  8. amymarley

    amymarley New Member

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    O.K., You posted a lot of insight in the last post. No, I am NOT bashing you, so please don't take it as so. I am an animal lover inside and out....
    I understand the value of your objectivity about your home, drool, licking, polished timber, your wife, your kids and all of that. My question to you, is "why have a dog then?" Again, I am not attacking you, but you obviously have certain concerns and obligations, that maybe your home, as loving as it may be, not be a "pet friendly home." I could spend several hours talking about your same situation....most not a good outcome. Again, it's your dog, your life, but from what you have spoken, your words, your cute pup may deserve a "more deserving home." Not that you have a bad home, but you and your family have different obligations and feelings. I don't know.... I don't know you or your family, to be honest, I am an animal lover, and that is my first concern. Don't deprive your dog the best life he can have, esp. since he seems so smart, for a family who may not appreciate what he has to give. No, I am not bashing your family at all, I bet they are great, but as an animal person, I have to say.... if you were your dog, would this be the place you would want to be, or is there something else better for me.... please take that into consideration. And I truly hope the best for you and your family.BUT IF YOU LOVE HIM, THEN EMBRACE HIM AND DO GOOD BY HIM.... HE WILL LOVE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY NO MATTER WHAT... GOOD FOR YOU! I HOPE IT WORKS OUT.
     
  9. chugalug

    chugalug New Member

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    Even though I've had dogs on and off for the last 30 years, I'd never asked a true animal lover what sort of job I was doing. It never crossed my mind because I just did what all people did here. Our dogs were pets, we treated them well, they were loyal, we were loyal to them, we let them procreate and they all lived to ripe old ages for their breeds. We never once stop to ask if they were psychologically disturbed because they didn't sleep in our beds or eat in our kitchens or watch TV with us.

    Coming here has been more of a shock than I could have imagined. It's like this whole world has opened up. It's almost like it's trendy to be childless or empty nested and have this neutered dog that's more an accessory around which your entire world revolves. While I can see this, I personally find it disturbing to live that way. Me, my wife and previous generations before us, all had pet dogs, took pride and lived in homes that were free of animal excrement. My children will as well and it appears totally to be their choice.

    So, I really don't think that this world I just described is the benchmark against which all others are judged. To me, it's an extreme world and evidently it's one where it's inhabitants congregate around this website.
     
  10. blue

    blue Jerk.

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    As a kid my dad had dogs they where indoors and out. This was on a horse farm so you can imagine what all they could get in and roll in, they where still at the end of or during the day allowed in the house to be with the family.

    His dogs where fixed and this was back in the 70's in the backwoods that Alaska was at the time.

    When dad moved on he took his dogs and they still spent time indoors as well as out, more out during the summer months, on a different horse farm in a different state.

    When my little sister was born my folks worried about the stepmoms dog adjusting to the new baby, he was her best protector, he was another outdoor dog that spent time in with the family.

    Dad and his family has allways had dogs and none of them where ever outside only dogs.

    I hope this explains somewhat my bias against keeping a dog outside only and appologise for saying you dont love your dog.

    I do not have kids or a wife but I would not marry a woman who would not allow my dog, future dogs or the cat (aka mouse killing machine) inside the house.
     
  11. Fran27

    Fran27 New Member

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    Ok I can understand that you only want outside dogs, although I don't personally see the point, but like everyone I think that THIS dog doesn't want to be outside alone, he wants to be with his family. So I don't think there is any way to train the dog to stop going on the patio except to physically make it impossible. And then you will have one unhappy dog.

    So in my opinion also you should rehome the dog, and get a dog that is more independent. Also, you said you got it at 6 weeks, which is too young for a pup to be seperated from his mom, so it might be the reason he acts this way too, apart from the fact that labs love being with people of course.

    Honestly, I think you should just consider another breed.

    But just a side note, you won't get any respect for your situation if you don't try to respect the point of view of people who let their dogs inside, even if you disagree with it. No, we're not all childless people either who take dogs as a replacement for children. The reason lots of us don't have children is because we biologically can't, or are too young, or live alone, or just don't want them (but it's called 'choice'). And because dogs come inside doesn't mean that they poop everywhere either, it's called 'housetraining'. So you should probably learn a bit more about that 'extreme world' before criticizing what you have no clue about. Oh, and learn about dog breeds too.
     
  12. tintinabulation

    tintinabulation New Member

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    when you buy a puppy, you understand that he's entering your family. I mean, what did you buy him for? simply to use up your money and take some pictures of him? he wants love, he wants to be near you. give him the chance.
     
  13. Julie

    Julie Are You Blowing Me Off?

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    chugalug,

    This thread has really tugged at my heart. I have been reading each post and trying to put myself in your position, and I am glad I am not really there.

    I have refrained from posting cause I know I somehow offend people with the way I post on a forum. But here goes:

    I want to help you for the sake of your dog. And I do not believe getting another dog would be an answer, and I do not believe subjecting a different breed would help either. Maybe a trainer could help you, I don't know. But I doubt it. Cause the problem is: The dog just wants to belong. You have said yourself that in every other way the dog is great. Okay, so the only problem with your dog is stareing and getting a window dirty? You have it so much easier than I did!!!!!!

    I know you are looking for training answers and techniques, but you have given your take on the way a dog should be treated, so in all fairness I would like you to listen to my take on how a dog should be treated. I have a choc lab, a yellow lab, and a german shepherd. My labs are both hunting dogs, and the shepherd is a patrol dog. They are all welcome in my home, but the yellow lab has aggression problems towards female dogs, so that has hampered my efforts somewhat. Her and the shepherd must be seperated at all times. So the result is Shiloh the yellow lab stays in the basement or in a kennel. But all that is a last resort. So for the most part I have my choc lab, and the shepherd in the house alot. They also like to go outside and run in my fenced yard. But they would starve for attention if I made them stay outside all the time. They are very social dogs and belonging to their human pack is very important to them. I can just picture your lab sitting outside the glass doors staring at your family going about their business. I don't even see how that could embarass you in front of company, I would be embarassed for myself. At this moment good Ole' Charlie is laying under my feet, Shiloh is in the basement, and Rocket is at work with hubby. And believe me if Shiloh did not errupt with this aggressive streak, she would be in here too. Now, you might be thinking I treat my dogs as children, but that is so untrue!! My dogs are dogs, and they need companionship. I have three children too, and luckily they would wonder why if their dogs were not allowed in our home. My labs can bring in a goose or duck, and then come in the house when they all get home. Of course I don't have white carpet or polished timbers, lol, but I do have well rounded good dogs, (except for Shilohs aggression towards female dogs, not everything can be perfect).

    If my husband told me I couldn't have dogs in our house, we'll I would have never married him in the first place. And if my kids find a dog hair in their dinner, they pick it out, and eat the rest. No grossing out, and no complaining, they are learning compassion for animals. I am really proud of that. And I don't think anyone ever got sick from my cooking, or our dogs. lol

    If I didn't have to clean up dog hair and water bowl drool, I would be lost, literally. Something very important to me would be missing.

    But one thing I don't have is excrement in my house. Just because a dog is inside does not mean that he/she spreads dog poop all over. All my dogs are fully housebroken and trustful.

    Now, to try to help with what you asked, a trainer: maybe, If all you want to do is keep the dog away from that glass door, maybe you could buy some "dog off" and spray it on the deck in front of the door. I don't know if it even works but it might be helpful in your goal. I have never used it before, but who knows it might work. My guess is you would have to use it pretty often.

    Blue,
    If I were not already happily married, I would be chasin' you! lol

    Anyway, I hope you will see many other people live happily together with their dogs in their home, I know it won't change your mind, but I wanted you to see another side, and from a person that does not treat her dogs, as her children.

    Best wishes,
    Julie.
     
  14. Zoom

    Zoom Twin 2.0

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    My grandmother has had dogs on her farm for her entire life and none of them have been allowed in the house. But she also spent most of her time outside anyway, it being a farm and all and she always had at least two. This lab that I'm looking to get and train for her will be her first 'inside' dog but seeing as how it's going to be a service dog, it has to be.

    For the record, I do let my dog sleep in bed with me, but it's mostly because I like the companionship and I get cold very easily. My dog is working when I'm sleeping; he's my portable furnace. :D
     
  15. Saje

    Saje Island dweller

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    I think if you have never known the true bond you can have with an animal that is part of your 'pack' you really can't know what you are missing. My dogs protect their family not just their territory. They accept people that I accept and look to me for clues about how to handle certain situations. While I hear what you are saying I just can't fully understand the idea of not letting a pack animal be with it's pack. My dogs aren't surrogate children. I love them like children but they don't replace any future children that I might have. I have plenty of room in my heart to nurture them all.

    [​IMG]

    Mikey was definitely let inside after I took this picture.
     
  16. tessa_s212

    tessa_s212 Guest

    Sorry for such a late response. You obviously are not here to learn. Because of that, no one here, nor I, can help you.:rolleyes:
     
  17. RD

    RD Are you dead yet?

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    Wow. This thread breaks my heart :( How can you resist a dog, locked outside, just wanting to be close to his family? He's not being deprived of anything? OMG! Do you know nothing of dogs? He's beind deprived of human companionship, why else would he be trying to get as close to you as possible?

    Why can't the dog be on the patio in the first place? And sorry, but I have no advice to offer you except to get the dog a home where he will be loved and appreciated for being a social creature, and not locked in the yard and ignored. Don't get another dog, you don't even deserve the one you have.
     
  18. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    Ditto! Amen! I hope the dog runs away and finds a new home.
     
  19. This pretty much tells the story.

    The dog is telling you what he needs. He needs to be a member of his pack, which is your family.

    The KIND thing to do is to fence the patio so you can stop SCREAMING at the poor dog to GET AWAY FROM THE PATIO DOOR so you do not have to look at his inconvenient paw prints and his longing eyes that yearn for closeness with you, his family.

    Using an invisible fence is INFINITELY more humane than screaming at the dog every time you catch him longingly looking inside where you are.

    If you really do intend to keep your yard ornament, you owe it to him to engage in some good training on a regular basis so he can have some sort of bond with you other than having you shout at him to get off your lovely patio and stop with his inconvenient paw and nose prints, and those annoying longing glances.
     
  20. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    You can't train a dog anything if you have no relationship with him. A good, close, bond as a dog has with his pack is the only reason a dog has to live. What you're doing, depriving the dog of his natural way of living, not only being a pack animal, but being domestic.... and the way you're thinking is despicable. What you need is a stuffed animal, not a living creature. Please re-home the poor dog. All your problems will be over.
     
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