Goldens?

Discussion in 'The Dog Breeds' started by Airn, Dec 17, 2012.

  1. Airn

    Airn New Member

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    Not sure if this is the correct place, but it made the most sense.

    My mother is looking for a Golden Retriever for my brother. He has ADHD and we believe a mild case of Aspergers'. He is getting better at socializing but we think it would help if he had a dog. My mom has also wanted a dog for a long time. She's done some research and believes a Golden would be best for them. There are a few problems, though. One, we can't afford a $2000 dog. She would prefer a purebred, only because she wants it to have a Golden's personality and temperament. I haven't found any rescues in our area, so it looks like a Golden might not work. Another issue is my brother and step father don't like dogs. They have always had cats. My step father is actually afraid of dogs.

    So, how do I get my brother to be interested in dogs? I told him to pick out some breeds he liked and he did seem excited about it. He picked out a schnauzer, though. While my mom thinks a Golden would fit them, I don't want my brother to be uninterested in the dog.

    Should we reconsider what breed to get? What are dogs that are usually mellow, good with kids, friendly, easy to like?

    Do you know of any Golden rescues that we could talk to about getting a dog for my brother?

    While the dog is for the whole family, we prefer to get a dog that my brother would like. And one that will fill his needs.

    I'm just not sure where to go from here.
     
  2. CaliTerp07

    CaliTerp07 New Member

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    Sorry to be a negative nancy, but...

    If your brother doesn't like/want a dog, why are you so convinced it would be a good idea? I don't know any (legitimate) rescue or breeder that will send home a dog to a family where only half the members are on board.
     
  3. MicksMom

    MicksMom Active Member

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    I was wonderig the same thing.
     
  4. Airn

    Airn New Member

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    Because it's not JUST for him. They are getting a dog. But would prefer him to like the dog and he has shown interest in them when his father isn't around. He prefers cats because that's all he's had and that's all his dad likes.

    I doubt we would go with a breeder. I've looked at some local-ish breeders and they are out of the price range.

    We hope he will like the dog and be open to playing with it, but his opinion isn't everything. I really do think he would like a dog. I have asked him several times and his attitude toward them is improving.
     
  5. golden&hovawart

    golden&hovawart New Member

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    Take him to a couple of dog shows to meet different breeds and let him choose it!.Most breeds are good with kids but it all has to do with socialization.
    Another great breed,with kids are boxers.
    As for more insight,on the golden,join the:
    goldenretrieverforum.com
     
  6. spiffy

    spiffy New Member

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    I think you need to convince your stepfather first that a dog would be good for your bro. :p You said your bro appears to be interested in dogs but the father would be more influential.
     
  7. Assamiea

    Assamiea New Member

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    Honestly, I don't think you need to rethink the breed as much as the motivation for getting a dog.

    It sounds to me (and I could be wrong) as though your mother is using the whole "my son needs a dog" mindset to get what she wants, regardless of what anyone else says or thinks.

    You keep saying "they" are getting a dog. If your stepfather is afraid of dogs and your brother only shows interest in dogs when he's not around, then technically your mother is getting a dog. Is your step father not home a lot so that your brother has time to show interest in the dog?
     
  8. MilliesMom

    MilliesMom Member

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    How old is your brother? Has he been formally diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's?
     
  9. Airn

    Airn New Member

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    My mom has always wanted a dog. My step father has had his way by having cats for several years. She was either thinking of a Golden or a small-medium sized breed.

    My brother is 12. And yes, he has.

    I realize I don't have enough information about what my mom wants/her plans to answer your questions. I just know she has been wanting a dog for a long time. My younger brother likes dogs. The one with the 'issues' is learning more about dogs and is becoming interested in them. My step father doesn't like dogs but my mom doesn't like cats. Sometimes you have to compromise.

    My grandmother always always has a pet and is currently living with them. So 3 out of 5 want a dog. One is undecided and the other will still have his cat. Ideally, everyone would research every breed to see which one they would like and all be in the love with the dog, but I don't see that happening.
     
  10. milos_mommy

    milos_mommy Active Member

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    It sounds like the mother in this family wants a dog, she also thinks it will be helpful for her young son to have a dog for himself, and while the other members aren't "dog people", I'm assuming they're on board with other members of the household getting one...it sounds like a very large percentage of households, including many on Chaz, who are looking for a dog.

    Your brother is 12 years old. It does not sound like he's spent a lot of time around dogs before or is very knowledgable about temperaments or breeds. He does not need to have very much of a say in this decision. Your mother needs to decide which breed is best for her whole family. I guarantee your brother will be much happier with a dog that has a temperament that your mother things can fit the household, than a dog he's picked based on a description in a book or looks.

    Perhaps if she narrows it down to a couple of breeds, she and your brother (and maybe the other family members) can visit breeders or go to a dog show and see what they think about them in person.

    If they don't have the money to spend on a breeder, why don't they just go look at some dogs in rescue? It sounds like a puppy isn't their best bet, anyway, and an adult dog - especially one in foster care - will have a well-known temperament and if it's a mixed breed, less potential health issues than a purebred from rescue. It also sounds like the family is unsure which breed will suit them, so a rescue can help them find an individual dog that will fit well.

    ETA: Have them make a list of things like the size they want, energy level they want, requirements such as good with cats, how much grooming they are willing to do, etc, and focus on individual dogs rather than a breed. They can have an idea - such as lower-intensity sporting dog types or terriers (although that might not be a great idea with the cats), but I think choosing a specific breed in their case is going to make it harder and rule out a lot of good dogs - and potential bring in expensive health problems or cause family conflict.
     
  11. crazedACD

    crazedACD Active Member

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    This might sound a little redundant, but maybe your mom should go to some of the shelters and email rescues, looking for a low key dog. I think temperament will be more important than actual breed. A housebroken, relaxed adult dog would probably suit the bill, and make it easier for stepdad to accept the dog.

    I see quite a few nice Golden mixes on Petfinder at various humane societies in AR.
     
  12. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    I would visit a rescue. Bring the whole family a long, talk to the rescue coordinators and find the right dog :)
     
  13. Airn

    Airn New Member

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    Thanks, guys. I was getting very frustrated that I wasn't able to get my point across. I'm glad I wasn't completely misunderstood.

    I *think* the biggest reason my mom was into Goldens was because of their... affinity? for special needs children. My mom herself isn't particularly picky about what type of dogs she likes, so that was why she chose to go with a Golden. I personally don't think they will end up going that route. My brother has been improving. (I don't see them often. Maybe once a month. They live an hour away.)

    I have taken both boys to my local shelters and let them play with puppies and dogs and see how they react. I told them they had to listen to me and follow my rules or we would leave. They both did great. The little one is a bit more handsy than I would like, but he's 5. We're working on it with Gwen.

    They tend to like medium sized dogs. I agree that the personality of the dog is more important than the breed. It's just hard to judge temperament of a dog when in it's in a shelter environment. I think she wanted to get a puppy because... well who doesn't want to get a puppy? :p

    I would not let a dog go into a household where I think it would be abused or neglected. My mom is the kind of person that takes care of animals, regardless of what they are, how they smell, whatever. As a kid she nursed many animals back to health and helped along strays.

    It has taken a lot of will power to not take home a puppy for Christmas. I'm not sure if she would hate me forever or hate me first and then fall in love with the dog. I know they would prefer to get a fence before getting the dog, though.

    I figure they'll end up with a mutt under 40lbs. Probably a terrier mix. My mom leans towards large dogs. My grandmother is obsessed with Yorkies and insists they would be a great family pet. My uncle has mini poodles and hunting beagles. I have a shelter dog who happens to be a Kelpie. Who knows what they'll end up with?

    I appreciate the advice and suggestions.
     
  14. milos_mommy

    milos_mommy Active Member

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    Goldens often seem to have a special affinity for those with special needs (children and adults), but I see the same qualities in A TON of individual dogs of various breeds. I definitely would recommend they go with an adult dog, or at least an old puppy, though. It doesn't sound like a very good household to bring a young puppy into, especially one from rescue, if they don't have a lot of experience with dog behavior.
     
  15. Kilter

    Kilter New Member

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    I think the ideal would be to contact some rescues, and either foster good candidates till one fails and stays, or volunteer. Many rescues are in need of dogwalkers, or people to take the dogs to adoption events and sit there with them, it would be a good way to meet a lot of them and see.

    Some goldens are sensitive, but some are just plain wild, crazy and goofy. Not ideal for that situation. I second the older dog thing too, one that's past the crazies....
     

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