Does Your Dog Own You? See how many of these statements apply to you and your dog. * You believe every dog is a lap dog. * You can't fully enjoy yourself without your dog. * You have a picture of your dog in your wallet, but not one of your kids. * No matter how large your bed is, it is not large enough for you and your dogs). * You have no reservations about kissing your dog on the lips, even when you know where his lips have been. * You believe it is your duty to talk to, pat, and even feed every dog in the neighborhood. You know their names. * You believe there is no such thing as a naughty dog. * You have your dog talk to your friends on the phone. * You often claim that it was love at first sight with you and your dog. * When you need someone to talk to, your dog is your first choice. * You sit on the floor if the dog got in the chair first. * You spend more on clothes and food for your dog than you do for yourself. * If you are cold, you put a sweater on your dog. * You talk to your dog when you are driving. He answers. * You let the neighbor dog sleep over. * Your dog taught you to fetch and roll over. * Your vet and grooming bills exceed your rent.