do you find being called Ma'am annoying?

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by Shelteez, Mar 12, 2012.

  1. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    Miss Mia and Mis Lil, Or should that have been Mrs.?

    I do declare! I wished I lived in the south.:) Maybe I'll move.;)
     
  2. Lyzelle

    Lyzelle New Member

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    Okay? And on with the rest of your post. Whatever? I have been to other areas in the South, as I said later on, and I did like them. But the Memphis area is terrible. And you know, I gave people the benefit of the doubt for SEVERAL years, until I made a few "Southern" friends and they let me in on the "back language". I always thought people were so sweet, then I figured out they were just out to get the neighborhood gossip.

    Take yourself out of the equation. It was my experience, in one area. Whatever you do, hundreds of miles away, did not affect the people who I dealt with.
     
  3. Danefied

    Danefied New Member

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    I am FASCINATED by this thread!
    Its such an interesting conversation of how to use language to convey respect (or snark! :)) and how we can manipulate language to our purposes.

    I grew up speaking Spanish, and in Spanish you have no choice, you HAVE to chose how to address someone - either in the familiar or the formal. There is no escaping it, the language doesn't allow for a "neutral" form of addressing someone, because its tied in to the verb form you use. (Interestingly there is also no way to designate something as genderless either - as in "it").

    I always used the formal "usted" with adults growing up, never thought a thing of it. Transitioning to "ma'am" when we moved south was fairly seamless for me. I don't see it as contrived or stodgy. Sure you can make it sound snarky, but its generally meant as common coutesy, much like you would say please or thank you to a bank teller - its not heartfelt, but its absence is considered a slight.

    My children use "ma'am" with me and "sir" to my husband which throws my own mom in to coniptions (which is great incentive for me to encorage it in my kids :D). Yes, I'm mature that way :D.
    They don't use it because I force them to, but because that's just how we talk down here. I just as easily respond "yes ma'am?" to my daughter when she says "mama?" Or I say "ma'am" or "sir" to my students instead of "what" or "pardon" when I don't hear what they say. Again, not forced or contrived, simply common courtesy and manners. When in Rome do as the Romans do and all that. Its language and language DOES have meaning. When I address someone as "ma'am" I'm not elevating them in status or anything, I'm simply conveying respect for our interaction.




    Its one thing to say the south is not for you, but this is over the top IMO. Blanket, stereotypical assertions about a certain group are the things bigotry and racism are made of. Something to think about...
    I've lived in the south for 17 years now and still have moments of culture shock, there are many things I don't care for and don't agree with, while there are many things I am grateful to have been exposed to and had my mind opened to. All cultures have value.
     
  4. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    :hail: Very well expressed. As usual, a very sound, thoroughly explained post.
     
  5. LauraLeigh

    LauraLeigh New Member

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    Just reading this thread, and have to agree with you...

    I don't mind being called Ma'am and LOVE the south.. Yes it's different than Canada but both hubby and are are so taken with the areas we have spent time in we seriously considered moving there... It was a breath of fresh air and we found "Southern Hospitality" made us "nice" Canadians seem nasty!!

    We have spent a TON of time in the Eden NC area, and have made friends with folks from that area who came up for our daughters wedding, we have spent less time in the Bristol TN area, but loved it as well...

    I love the part of the South we know, so much so I wish I could live there!

    We are riding down in July for a couple weeks, can't wait!!
     
  6. Kristen1980

    Kristen1980 Guest

    Yes, it makes me feel old :D
     

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