Do You Feel Victimized?

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by sillysally, Apr 20, 2013.

  1. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    On the local news this morning they were talking about people feeling victimized and experiencing learned helplessness from all the the wall to wall coverage of the awful events of this week.

    I don't feel like a victim. I'm not criticizing those who do, I just don't. I'm brokenhearted for those killed and injured in Boston and Texas (and their families), sad for those who feel like their sense of security has been shattered, angry that those brothers could kill innocents, uneasy that they were working with others that we may or may not ever know about, relieved that they caught both bombers (one way or another), but I don't feel like a victim.

    Do you?
     
  2. AdrianneIsabel

    AdrianneIsabel Glutton for Crazy

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    Nope, it's heartbreaking but I don't feel like a victim. It is scary, really, but not all consuming at this point.
     
  3. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    No, I am not a victim. Hearing news coverage doesn't make me a victim. If I had experienced it in person or lived in Boston then I might feel victimized as their day to day life was greatly affected but justfrom news coverage? No, the news is/was easy enough to avoid.
     
  4. sassafras

    sassafras mushinois

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    I don't. I feel immeasurably sad but not victimized.

    A lot of people have a hard time putting risks into perspective, though. I can see how they could feel that way. And if I lived in or around Boston or if the marathon was a beloved event to me, I imagine I might feel very differently.
     
  5. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    Yes.
    I never felt unsafe here. I mean, it's a city full of college students, police officers.. it's safe, we hold giant events and sports games and parades and I've never felt like I couldn't feel safe in the city or in my home.

    but now I do. I don't want to but the idea that this could happen at the marathon, one of the oldest running and most highly monitored/"safe" police attended events.. it's scary.

    I used to walk down my streets and see happy memories. I was excited for my first marathon monday, people I loved were running and I was so happy to have an apartment that was so close to everything. when I bought my apartment I specifically wanted a place "where all the action was".. now the thought of that makes me horrified.

    I look at the area and there used to be the candy store I like to go, the steps of the library where I have lunch during the week, the patch of pretty grass I take Merlin to play, the road I walk to go to work every day, the restaurants I like, the train station I take to go to school, my apartment building
    The blood is cleared, and the road is blocked off still but I don't know when I will look outside my window or walk down the street and ever see those happy things again and not just see the aftermath.

    I was reading one of the brother's twitters and it scared me.. not because he was an evil, menacing, terrorist.. but because of how normal it all seemed.
    A few weeks ago he liked game of thrones, breaking bad, he procrastinated doing homework, he had friends, he had family, he had a favorite sports team..
    it’s weird that the capacity for anything lives in all of us.
    And that there aren't sociopaths/villains and then everyone else, just people.

    The fact that anyone is capable of doing such a thing, anywhere, even in a city I like to call safe.. it's scary.

    Before this I felt untouchable. As ridiculous as it sounds. I lived in a safe city, in a safe neighborhood, in a country I thought was secure, full of college students and people I thought were trustworthy, Boston felt fun, it felt safe.. it felt like home.

    Bombings and terrorists and murderers were tragedies found in newspapers of far away places and dark corners and alleyways of places I just didn't go. They were sad but they were distant.

    Now I feel like there is so much potential for evil..all over the place. When I used to see just potential for good.

    A lot of this has to do with the fact that I live here. There really was so avoiding it.
     
  6. -bogart-

    -bogart- Member of WHODAT Nation.

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    I don't now. Some of the younger kids I know do. They don't really remember 9/11. That is when I realized the world is small and anything can happen. Fran I hope time can heal you.
     
  7. Oko

    Oko Silence, peasants.

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    Yes. I'm not going to pretend I'm living right in the middle of it or anything like that. I'm very thankful I don't have it worse. But yes.

    ETA I don't think it's necessarily about the coverage. I think it's because it's all anyone I know was/is talking about, it's so close to me, just a lot of factors.
     
  8. LindaJD

    LindaJD New Member

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    I am from Boston, born and bred and I don't feel like a victim at all. I am mad this happened at all, but no madder than if it happened anywhere else in the USA. I had family members and friends running in the marathon and 2 daughters whose school got evacuated yesterday but to be honest I wasn't living in fear. My 2 daughters were at the marathon, not near the finish line at the time and they also said they aren't living in fear of going back because of this even though they saw they aftermath. They both said it will make them more aware of what's going on around them though.

    I don't live in Boston anymore, not a fan of that city to begin with, but this attack doesn't make me fear going there. I refuse to make myself a victim because of what happened to others, they are the true victims and have no choice but to live with what these monsters did.
     
  9. Snark

    Snark Mutts to you

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    No, it makes me mad and maybe just a little more observant to things 'out of place'. Not sure of the timing of the explosions after the bags were placed, but I wonder what would have happened if someone had said, "That's odd." that someone just left a bag unattended in a crowd and had then notified law enforcement.
     
  10. Beanie

    Beanie Clicker Cult Coordinator

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    Victim is not the word I would use.
    I know it's highly unlikely these guys did this in a hope to hurt "runners." They did it because it was a highly populated city and a highly populated, and media covered, event. Good way to cause terror. It wasn't personal.

    But it feels personal.

    But what I mostly feel is defiant. They wanted to scare people... yes, I'm scared. But that's NOT going to stop me. I'm going to continue to live my life. I'm going to lace up my shoes every day. I'm going to run my half-marathon next Saturday.

    I'm going to give my bag to my mom to hold while she waits for me, and she and my bag will be searched when she enters the stadium. She will sit in the stadium section marked "M" waiting for me to finish. Will she be scared while she sits there? Knowing my mom, most likely.
    Do I think she has any real reason to be scared?
    She has EXACTLY the same amount of reason to be scared as she did one week ago.

    Safety is an illusion. As long as there are people who are sick and want to hurt people for no other reason than they are angry, we won't be safe. You can trying to make laws about guns, swords, chemicals that people can use to make bombs - but only a few months ago a guy in Japan killed four people with a STEAK KNIFE before he was stopped...

    I don't really have any desire to be a hermit to attempt to protect myself from any given Crazyhead out there.
    It doesn't pay very well.
     
  11. Brattina88

    Brattina88 Active Member

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    I don't feel like a victim, but it does make you feel more vulnerable. I think, anyway

    So sad and senseless
     
  12. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    I really don't think feeling victimized means that you consider yourself a victim.
    because I don't.
    It's a personal feeling of vulnerability, of fear, of shock.

    People who witness car accidents can find themselves scared to get in the car. Doesn't mean they are weak, or that they consider themselves victims or more hurt than the true victims, or that they just need to buck up and get some perspective.. it's how they feel. They were affected wether it was "real" to other people or not.
    Some people witness car accidents and take control of their feelings by getting in their drivers seat and taking control. I don't think one is more strong than the other.. it's just how our brains react and process things.

    Either way, it doesn't take anything away from the true victims to say that you feel affected, scared, or hurt by what happened. Their suffering, their pain, and their true loss is so much greater, of course it is.. but I don't think it makes the feelings of others further away moot.

    Trust me I wish it was a feeling I could stop feeling because it truly is not a fun one.
    Don't think victimized is the right word maybe.. but vulnerable, yea.

    Safety and security might've been an illusion. Because hey, you could die of a brain aneurism any minute, fall down a man hole, get shot, get hit by lightning... but it was an illusion I found comfort in.
     
  13. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

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    Living with a funeral director in a funeral home has made me look at mortality.

    And realise that if you live every day fearing death, it's a pretty sad existence.

    However, I'm not a big risk taker, I'm not interested in sky diving, or doing stupid stuff like that thank you!

    I do drive fast though, I overtake and I enjoy it. I asked my other half the other day whether looking at car accident victims make you drive slower. He said..... You think about it, but ultimately, no. You keep doing what you do!

    So....... I think feeling like a victim is a choice quite often.

    You can choose not to.
     
  14. Greenmagick

    Greenmagick New Member

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    I think feeling victimized and vulnerable right after something heinous is totally normal and natural...and is not a choice. The choice comes from how you handle it..fighting through it or letting the fear take over and shape your life.
     
  15. MinPinOwner

    MinPinOwner Member

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    I do not feel victimized or vulnerable. Bombings like the one in Boston are rare.
     
  16. Laurelin

    Laurelin I'm All Ears

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    Hmm... I don't know if victimized is the right word. Aware? Maybe?

    I drive past the remains of the Murrah building where the OKC bombing memorial stands. The OKC bombing was the first big news story/tragedy I remember from when I was a kid. I remember watching it unfold. I cannot help but reflect on it every time I drive or walk past it. And I will say I did reflect on it even more this last week.

    There have been many times I've thought about terrorism in particular. Thinking... something like that would never happen here! Who would want to target Oklahoma of all places? We're such an unimportant state... And then I remember it DID happen here. 168 lives lost.
     
  17. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    This is pretty much my feeling on it. I'm far for likely to get hit by a car or mauled to death by a loose dog when I'm out and about. I understand that statistics are cold comfort for the victims of terrorist attacks, but it still is rare and I pray that it will remain so. I really feel for those that live in countries where this is common-I can't imagine.
     
  18. Southpaw

    Southpaw orange iguanas.

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    As rare as it is, the thing about it is that... it's not like it's something you can anticipate, or be aware of, really. These people were at a marathon. Outside, at a big public event, where there really should not have been any danger or any reason to worry about anything. Not that it makes me any more afraid than I was before the bombing, but that is just one part of it that disturbs me when I start to think about it. And I know the same can be said for 9/11 etc. The fact that it IS rare is what always leaves me feeling like "well that would never happen here/to me." Every time something like "this" happens. And I don't know if I like that I feel that way, either.

    I don't feel victimized I guess but I have been thinking about it a lot since it happened. And maybe just because there's been so much to think about, with the direct aftermath and then the identity of the suspects and then the drama that played out on Friday, and now just speculation and waiting for answers... I fully view it as an "attack on America" and not just a Boston thing, so in that respect I DO feel affected, in a small way.

    And this is coming across jumbled I imagine, but my thoughts about it all are pretty jumbled anyway.
     
  19. blue

    blue Jerk.

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    Im actually more scared of being victimized from my government.
     
  20. DenoLo

    DenoLo New Member

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    Yes. While I Knew that this kind of thing COULD happen...it's different and surreal and horrible having it actually happen, here.
     

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