do "pretty"/"good looking" get treated different?

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by Dogdragoness, Jun 15, 2014.

  1. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

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    I was watching either doc or PIVIT channel (can't remember which one it was) and they had a documentary on about if people who society would consider pretty or good looking get treated differently than people who society thinks may not be and it was enlightening (and a little sad) that, when the journalist (who was a pretty girl) went as herself into the public (like to stores and such) she was treated very nicely, even allowed to go ahead in a check out line at a walmart when the man in front of her say she had fewer items than him.

    But ... when she put on a "fat" suit and had makeup out on to downplay her looks, the way people treated her was vastly different, you kind of had to be watching it, but people's treatment of her ranged from flat out ignoring to downright rude.

    I have even noticed this with myself, now I am no beauty queen, but I like to think I am fairly good looking, and I have seen people treat me different than say, an overweight or what society would call an "ugly" person.
     
  2. milos_mommy

    milos_mommy Active Member

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    Absolutely they do, and many studies have proven this.

    In part, it makes some sense...society has trained the majority of folks to believe certain looks are more attractive, so generally people such as staff at stores, etc will help them faster or put more effort in for them.

    Plus, people who are overweight are frequently labeled as lazy, of a lesser economic class, women who aren't wearing makeup are cited as lesbians or having "given up", and the race aspect - people with ethnic looking hair or clothes are still seen as potentially dangerous, thug-like, etc.

    It's a complex issue rooted largely in gender bias and racism.
     
  3. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    yes, conventionally attractive people are treated differently.
    In MOST cases better, in some not so (I think there was a study on beautiful criminals and bitter jurors...)

    Our brains take certain features and read them as "likeable" and equate that to good traits (kindness, intelligence etc..)
    which is why it's such a common misconception/bullying to call overweight people mean or lazy even though people know NOTHING about them.

    One of my cousins lost 100 pounds and got scoliosis surgery and said the change in treatment was DRAMATIC. Restaurants, retail stores, bars, she simply assumed people were ambivalent and was shocked at friendliness.

    Think of the Susan Boyle singing audition, why were people SO SHOCKED she could sing? Because we've been taught beautiful people are talented.
     
  4. Xandra

    Xandra Active Member

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    Yup, this is what I was taught/learned too. Attractive people are not only intentionally better treated (eg by clubs) but subconsciously we're more likely to think better of their non-physical traits as well.
     
  5. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

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    Yeah I think they were using people who are overweight and "ugly" by society standard as an example, they didn't do a senario where they made her into a "pretty" person who is overweight or a thin person who was "ugly", though I would have been interested to see that.
     
  6. release the hounds

    release the hounds Active Member

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    I think people that are pleasing to look at by someone at first glance do generally get treated differently. Of course that lasts only a short while for a lot. Open their mouths and show how ugly they can be, or or great they are and perceptions change.

    But on the short term? yeah, people tend to give more leniency or attention to things they find pleasing, even if it is just to look at.

    Someone brought up susan boyle, and I'm not so sure it was just her looks that made people perceive her like they did at first. Her whole persona was very awkward. At least that's how they made her look on tv.

    It's going back a while, but most people that come off as that socially awkward, didn't she still live at home? had never performed in front of people? only sang to her mother and family and they said she was good? aren't all that great when they get on stage.

    on the flip side, there was that cute little girl, i can't remember her name, and I didn't think she'd be that good either and she sang like an angel. Gave me goosebumps and completely blew me away and she was a cute as could be.

    I think there is more than looks that go into how one is treated overall though. beyond that initial impression. I've let all sorts of people get in front of my in line, and not all have been pretty. I've had all sorts just jump in front too and i've gotten pissed off at all of them, pretty ones included :)
     
  7. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

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    Maybe it's more having to do with the area you (general) ate living? Maybe some areas are worse than others?

    I don't mean to rag on the men, I know not all of you are like this, but I have seen men do this a lot with pretty women vs ugly women, give them preference.
     
  8. release the hounds

    release the hounds Active Member

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    guys and girls alike :) there entire groups of girls that hang out all the time that won't even say "hi" if you're not good looking enough. Don't even act like this is a one way street.

    and if you're too good look as a woman, be careful, because those bitches you work with, ****ing hate you :)
     
  9. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

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    Yes I know I have noticed that, luckily I work with a bunch of guys, and my fiancee. Even girls who I would deem prettier than me hate me, maybe because I am "real" and they are not (you know, as a man what I am talking about: tons of makeup, revealing clothes etc ...) I don't have to TRY to be good looking and they hate it ;)
     
  10. Equinox

    Equinox Active Member

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    Women/girls are just as judgmental when it comes to looks - and usually the difference is that they will judge other women, too (regardless of sexual orientation).

    I'm an average looking girl and I feel that I'm treated very kindly by strangers, never any worse than my attractive friends. That said, I find the area that I love in very friendly and everyone (including me) will nod, smile, and say "hi" to strangers we pass by. I open doors for strangers, they do the same for me, and I always strike up friendly conversation with people I encounter every day. I think that personality and attitude have a lot with how you are perceived and treated, and that's an impression that will usually last just as long (if not longer) as physical appearances.

    Now, I do believe that those society deem attractive are treated better overall than those perceived as unattractive or "ugly". I know a lot of people in the online fitness and weight loss groups I know have said that they were treated a lot more nicely after they lost a substantial amount of weight, and that the difference was shocking to them. I also have heard that women are treated better than men (or at least more courteously) by strangers.

    Okay, I have to address this because... what?!

    So when I've applied a full face and choose to wear my sheer top with short shorts (because for girls, there is no other length of shorts), I'm imaginary? Fake? How does one become this superior "real girl", because I've never seen it that way?

    Do men not see girls who wear makeup as real? I mean, I choose my makeup and my clothes based on what I like... but should that make men and "real women" hate me? :p
     
  11. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

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    I think you are misinterpreting what I said. I think you know what someone means when they say "revealing" clothing and "tons" of makeup.
     
  12. Oko

    Oko Silence, peasants.

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    I sure have no idea what you mean. What is the line that's crossed in clothes/make up to turn someone 'fake'?
     
  13. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

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    Less is not always more when it comes to clothes, those women who think they have to wear super revealing clothes to get attention, I am not talking about "cute" or "sheer" clothing, nor am I talking about a "full face" either, we have all been to clubs, we have seen women dressed like this. I kind of feel foe them because they will get male attention, but it's the wrong kind of attention, the right outfit will get you less looks, but those look you do get have a better chance of being the right ones,
     
  14. JazzyTheSibe

    JazzyTheSibe Love is 4 legged word

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    I personally feel that women are more to judge then men. But that's just myself.

    I'm still in high school,& people who are more "attractive", tend to have bigger amount of friends, aren't judged as much,& are generally treat better. But there are people in my school who are treat everyone fairly,& have a good amount.The way you act & dress makes difference in HS. There are groups of people who hang out together,& it's (usually) based on how you act, or how you dress.

    It happens in other parts of society too. Society as whole tends to treat "attractive" people, better then "unattractive" people. At work, in the store, at restaurants, & other places.

    What I've noticed is that the older people get, the less they are to judge.

    I personally don't find myself attractive. I don't get much comments that I look nice, about my hair from people my age. I look really young, compared to my real age. I've had many people think I was 13. But, many people my age are nice to me, regardless of how I look. As for out in public? I really don't notice anything.

    ETA:

    I agree.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2014
  15. Greenmagick

    Greenmagick New Member

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    This is extremely judgemental and honestly sad. If you don't actually know these women you have no clue who they are, their intentions or how they are treated by men in their lives.
     
  16. Lyzelle

    Lyzelle New Member

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    Okay, so, uh, my turn.

    Part One: Am I treated different because I am "good looking"?

    I'm downright gorgeous, in my opinion. I dress down (sweats and baggy t-shirt). I dress up. I dress skimpy. I dress conservatively. My daily work shoes are 3 inch wedges. Or sneakers. I wear a full face of make up. I wear no make up. I wear concealer and mascara. I have bright red, high-maintenance hair. And I let it look faded and washed out when I don't care for the upkeep. But regardless of all of that, I'm still good looking. I am still beautiful.

    And I am absolutely treated differently. No questioning it. My co-workers, my employers, the people who interview me, my peers, my customers, people who look at my college record. Because I'm pretty. Not because I am intelligent. Not because I'm clever. And certainly not because I'm educated. I'm pretty, so why bother, right? I'm pretty = I am a bimbo.

    Part Two:

    Hah. Haha. I love that. I get told that a lot. "Real girls". I absolutely, to the bone, seethingly, venomously hate the term "real girl". I'm pretty. And I'm pretty **** real, without having to hide behind a million hate-filled excuses to prove how much better I am at being pretty.

    "Real girls" don't wear a full face of make up. I don't have to hide behind a shield of "I don't wear makeup" to show it off.
    "Real girls" are curvy. I don't have to gain 50lbs to be real or pretty.
    "Real girls" dress classy. I don't have to wear a full-length skirt or sleeves to be classy.
    "Real girls" are modest and deny being pretty at all.

    So I am definitely treated differently. Woman on woman hate. And that definitely doesn't change with looks!

    You know what a REAL WOMAN is? Someone who is a goddamn woman. That's it. I don't care if it is Carmen Electra or Carmen Carrera.

    /feminist rant.

    Pretty Girl Rock, anyone?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtXOVKNazYU
     
  17. sassafras

    sassafras mushinois

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    Oh god yes. Not that long ago a gorgeous young woman cut right in front of my husband in line at a Subway or something. When he pointed her to the back of the line, she flirted and told him people usually let her in line. Unfortunately for her, he's immune to that, but she was completely shocked. Obviously she's used to doing pretty much whatever she likes. And man, in her place I can't say I wouldn't do the same. It's good to be the king.


    And "fake" women, really? :/ Tastes vary, there's as much a place in the world for girly girls as there is for not girly girls. Geez like we need to spend energy making each other feel even worse and more self conscious about our looks and bodies than many of us already do. :rolleyes:
     
  18. Oko

    Oko Silence, peasants.

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    Things that make you go hmmm...alas.
     
  19. Paviche

    Paviche Duuuuude.

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    :hail:
     
  20. ThoseWordsAtBest

    ThoseWordsAtBest Wu-Tang Steph

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    First, average looking? AS IF. You're a babe.

    Sigh.. I suppose in case any one comes across this thread, I gotta say this is a bummer. I love make up because I like how it makes me look. I love tattoos. I love wearing the things I wear. When I leave the house, I leave looking the way that pleases me, because I'm the one looking in the mirror. And I leave and enjoy being complimented on my hair or tattoos or make up. I think it's more telling to cut other people down for being "fake" than to just be how you want to be.
     

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