Diagnose me!

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by Picklepaige, Jan 22, 2012.

  1. Picklepaige

    Picklepaige Active Member

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    Hey guys. I'm just wondering if anyone is familiar with mental diseases, and if anyone has any opinions. I don't think I'm "bad" enough to go to a psychiatrist...plus I'm scared to death of going :eek:

    I was always a strange child, and as I got older, my parents really did consider taking me to a psychiatrist. I convinced them not to, that it was just weird teenage hormones. But now, I'm starting to really become self-aware, and realize that I DO have problems that should not be normal for someone my age.

    First and foremost, is my social awkwardness. Now, as I have gotten older, it has gotten much better, but let me explain exactly what I mean. I am NOT shy. I have no problem going up to a complete stranger and asking them a question. Simple, objective talks are no problem to me. The problem is when the talking turns into a conversation. I don't know HOW to HAVE a conversation. When someone talks to me, I listen, I really do, but my response will generally be limited to a smile and a nod.

    It's really hard to explain. I don't know how to joke, or tease, or say something funny or interesting in return. I have a hard time using facial expressions and gestures. I'm usually ok when I talk online, because I have time to think about and plan my reaction. In a face-to-face conversation, it goes too fast for me. When I do try to say something, it's really awkward, because I will speak really fast and slur and stumble over my words, because I'm trying to "keep the pace" of the conversation, without really knowing what I'm about to say. Once again, no problem stating facts or answering questions, but having a personal, emotional conversation is almost impossible for me.

    I also have a very, very hard time explaining myself. Feelings and emotions are very difficult to describe for me, and when someone asks me something like "what are you feeling" or "what are you thinking," I'll just stammer out an "I don't know." It's just very hard for me.

    However, there is one person who I can talk to with no problem. She's one of my best friends, and even though I have two other best friends, she's the only one who I feel like I can talk "normally" around. I don't know WHY, it's not like my other friends intimidate me, or I like them less. I don't get it.

    Moving on...touch. I don't like my parents to touch me. Anytime they do, I get really anxious and frustrated. It makes me mad. I have never, ever been sexually abused by an adult, so I'm not sure what the deal is. I feel really bad because I know it hurts their feelings, but it frustrates me to the point of tears if they so much as poke me. Strangers touching me is the same. However, I enjoy, and even seek, touch from my close friends. Once again, I don't understand what's going on there.

    Speaking of frustration, I get frustrated very easily. Things as simple as asking me to repeat myself, watching me do something, and asking me about how I'm feeling make me very frustrated. It's like I get this feeling that starts building up, and I'll start shaking and breathing hard and tearing up because of just how utterly upset it makes me. Again, little things like this don't bother me with the three people I call my best friends. I'm beginning to think they're gods or something, lol.

    I also have some very interesting quirks and OCD-like behavior. When I see words, I "type" them out with my fingers, like I'm at a keyboard. I also do this thing where I bend my neck back; I do it every few minutes, and there is no explanation as to why I do it. But if I can't do it (like in marching band where we had to stand completely still) I would, again, get very frustrated.

    When turning on and off the lights, I have to flip the switch on and off a certain amount of times. I have to chew my food on each side of my mouth a certain amount of times. Little things like that that are almost OCD.

    There's several more weird things about me, but I'll just say one more. I have a very weird obsession with animals. It's not just the typical "teenage girl who loves animals" thing. I was like this as a kid, and I never grew out of it. It's to the point where if animals are not involved, I am not interested. A vacation, a class, a story, even a book, or a movie, or a show, that isn't centered around animals, is not something I enjoy. There are some very bad movies that I love, JUST because the main characters are animals. When I read a book about people (unless it's a fantasy that already has talking animals in it, like Harry Potter) I always envision the characters as animals. It's weird.

    Or maybe I'm just a furry lol.

    So, what do you think? Am I just messed up, or is there a legitimate cause to the madness?
     
  2. Baxter'smybaby

    Baxter'smybaby swimming upstream

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    some of what you describe could fit with a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome.

    http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/tc/aspergers-syndrome-symptoms

    This may or may not be accurate--but the touch issue (can be a sensory integration issue) the conversation, etc can be a difficulty reading the social cues and responding, these things can cause increased anxiety and/or frustration. Also--fixation on one or two specific things is characteristic of this syndrome. OCD type of behaviors are also common, or may be a co-occuring diagnosis. Just my take on what you described (based on my experiences and training as an Occupational Therapist--I certainly am not a physician! )
     
  3. Maxy24

    Maxy24 Active Member

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    Hey you have the same touch problem as me, I'm not alone! My parents hate it sooooo much and I've been yelled at several times because of it, I'm supposed to just get over it you know. I think I've determined that I might consider all touch as sexual, logically I know it is not, but it feels that way for some reason, it is EXTREMELY uncomfortable except for the "hello/goodbye" hugs that you must give your extended family. That I'm fine with, because the people are not touching me out of affection, it's just one of those things we have to do. I don't like ANYONE touching me though, but I likely don't have friends that are as close to me as your friends are to you.


    I also hate conversations, but I do have social anxiety and my issue stems from very low self esteem and not thinking anyone cares about what I have to say and that I might mess up or I might have a weird facial expression or something. But I do have trouble with asking simply questions. I also no longer have CLOSE friends. I have friends who I like and do crave being with them but I don't really think they like me that much, mainly because I'm quite boring and don't drink, I always think that I might be keeping them from going and partying or something. So I don't necessarily think that you have my problem unless you have similar emotions involved.


    So I really didn't help at all, but I don't know anyone else with my touch problem so I felt the need to reply :p
     
  4. AllieMackie

    AllieMackie Wookie Collie

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    I have a lot of Aspie friends, and what you're describing sounds exactly to me like high-functioning Asperger's.

    The social awkwardness, the not knowing how to react in social situations, the pickiness about sensory contact from people, the easy frustration, the OCD behaviours...

    It's all stuff that can be worked on and managed, mostly through practice and education - one of my Aspie friends, I never even knew he had it until I really got to know him, and only then did his quirks appear here and there. He's been working on it through social therapies and other means, and practicing with his friends.

    Definitely see what you can do about seeing a doctor about it, and a good psychologist. They can get you on the right track if you'd like to improve the symptoms. :)
     
  5. Saeleofu

    Saeleofu Active Member

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    Honestly, it really does sound like you land somewhere on the autism spectrum.
     
  6. Dreeza

    Dreeza New Member

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    Agreed that is sounds like an Asperger's thing.

    Why are you so reluctant to see a therapist? I'd really recommend a behavioral psychologist & avoid a psychiatrist if you don;t want to take meds. Meds are YOUR choice - and it doesn't sound like you need them. There is something called cognitive behavioral therapy that uses biofeedback...that could be a good option for you, if you aren't ready to really talk through stuff yet. It technically does not require any talking, although you can if you want :)

    For the OCD, again, if you aren't ready to see someone...I'd really recommend: http://www.amazon.com/OCD-Workbook-...9218/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1327261777&sr=8-1

    My friend was struggling with OCD & used that workbook under the guidance of a therapist & she LOVED it. She really enjoyed the workbook & felt it helped a lot. She is doing so well now!!

    It is very possible that dealing with one aspect will help with the others - OCD research is rather plentiful & treatments are rather successful, so I think that is a great place to start.
     
  7. Miakoda

    Miakoda New Member

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    I, too, think of high-functioning autism or Asperger's Syndrome.

    My son, Cole, has "failed" four separate autism checks. However, he shows many characteristics of Asperger's Syndrome (socially unaware, trouble responding properly to social situations, easily frustrated, tactile and sensory issues.....he's set to have an IQ test as he's had already mastered "kindergarten" by the 1st nine-week period; thankfully his teacher is wonderful and his pushing him forward)
     
  8. Saeleofu

    Saeleofu Active Member

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    There's really very littled med-wise that anyone can take for autism. Depending on symptoms, you can treat SOME with meds.

    If you actually get diagnosed on the autism spectrum, be careful, becuase it's HARD for an adult to get any help. My insurance specifically says that anything related to autism is NOT covered after you turn 17. It sucks because I would love to get more treatment, but I can't afford OT or anything like that on my own. The only way I got diagnosed and the little bit of treatment I did get was by going to the university psych clinic, and they can't really met my needs aside from diagnosing me, either.

    Also, so people are aware, Asperger's will no longer be proper terminology in about a year to a year and a half. The DSM-V is integrating everything on the autism spectrum to "Autism Spectrum Disorder."
     
  9. AllieMackie

    AllieMackie Wookie Collie

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    SUCKS that you aren't covered. :( WTF.

    And yeah, I heard about that as well.
     
  10. Saeleofu

    Saeleofu Active Member

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  11. Picklepaige

    Picklepaige Active Member

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    Wow, guys, thanks for the responses. I...really don't know how to feel. I mean, it's great that there might be an explanation to the problem, but at the same time...it's kind of a hard blow. I thought autism was always diagnosed as a child? Why am I just now finding answers? I'm seriously considering visiting psychiatrist of some sort, just to get some definite answers. I'm intrigued.

    Bax, as I read that link you gave me, I feel as if they were describing me to a "t." Some of the things I didn't mention were mentioned on that site, and...wow. Asperger's is looking to be a very real possibility. It explains SO much.

    Maxy, see, I'm not shy at all. I KNOW my friends love me and want me to engage in conversations with them, but I'm SO AWKWARD about it, I just shut up, because it's embarrassing for me to hear myself try to sputter out words and sound ridiculous doing it.

    Heck, even my posts here are choppy and without much emotion. I see everyone having friends on here, and joking around and having fun, and I just CAN'T DO THAT. As soon as the conversation moves away from dogs, I really don't know what the say, or if I want to say something, how to say it without sounding awkward and obnoxious.

    That's what I want. I want to learn how to communicate, but with this potential "diagnosis", is that even possible??

    Dreeza and Sael, I am going to look into those readings you recommended. But first, I want to get a definite diagnosis. I was afraid because I didn't want to face the fact that I was beyond help, but I'm already starting to face it, so I might as well plunge headfirst and get some professional opinions.

    But wow, I still can't get over how "me" that link you gave is, Bax.

    Lack of empathy.
    Forced eye contact.
    Very jerky and awkward movements.
    Poor handwriting.
    Very sensitive to loud noises and bright lights.
    Anxiety.
    Depression.

    It's all there.

    Wow.
     
  12. Saeleofu

    Saeleofu Active Member

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    Not at all! I was diagnosed just before I turned 21. Part of it is that the criteria have expanded quite a bit. Autism itself is a fairly recent development as far as recognizing what it is goes, and Asperger's is even newer than that. I don't know how old you are, but when I was a kid, nobody really knew about autism other than the most severe cases.


    [quote[Why am I just now finding answers?[/QUOTE]

    USUALLY as people age, their autism becomes less severe. However, in higher-functioning cases, a lot of times people can function more or less "normally" through school, and it's when they hit adulthood problems start cropping up. Suddenly you're faced with caring for yourself, caring for an apartment/place to live, holding down a job, socializing with a ton of people you never met before, cooking, cleaning, etc. A lot of times it's more than you can handle, and then the stress on top of it all brings it out. My autism wasn't truly disabling until I was living on my own, and it still took a couple years to figure everything out.

    In hindsight, it was pretty clear that I was autistic even as a very young child - hyperlexia, echolalia (lots and lots of echolalia! even now...), stimming, extrememly narrow interests, so many things. But people just didn't look for it back then. They assumed that if you could talk, there's no way you could be autistic.

    If you pursue a diagnosis, it can be hard to find someone that is able to diagnosed an adult. Even now there is still a HUGE focus on kids, and adults are pretty much ignored. It took me several months to find someone even willing to see an adult. Most places were like "Oh, you're an adult? We don't do that..." so you may have to search for a while. It might even be best to not even mention the word autism or anything.

    Anyway, if you need to talk, have questions, or anything, feel free to PM me!
     
  13. Baxter'smybaby

    Baxter'smybaby swimming upstream

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    The thing is that there is support out there--people who can help you learn different ways of interacting--if that is what you want, if you have a proper diagnosis. I have worked with many individual's with an Asperger's diagnosis--very engaging people once they are understood, have their sensory needs met, can identify their own needs, who can now educate the rest of us on how they need to learn, etc.
    I hope you find some answers for yourself.
     
  14. CharlieDog

    CharlieDog Rude and Not Ginger

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    I was diagnosed as an adult as well. A lot of things you listed are incredibly familiar frustrations. Feel free to pm me as well.
     

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