As someone who can relate (dealt with an eating disorder/anxiety/OCD related issues) here are some things that helped.. I have picked these up from various therapists over the years lol
- To-do lists/having an agenda. Writing things down, seeing my day in clear steps with check boxes of things to do and places I'm supposed to be.. it helps your brain GET IT. It's not just a mindless "OH GAH I DUNNO AND THIS AND THIS AND THIS" it's a physical list.. it's real. I know where I am, what I'm supposed to be doing, what needs to be done.
Put easy things on your to-do lists, put non essential things, not high priority etc..
Put the super important do it now things first of course, but pad "middle of the road" work with less important, less stressful things.
EXAMPLE: when doing HW, I do things do the next day, and before starting reading that is due in 2 days, I clean my apartment, paint my nails, and walk Merlin. All things that could be done at ANY time but that I put there to get me some checkmarks that I could check off, easily.
- Find a healthy distraction when you feel yourself going into, what I affectionately call, "the void" (that sense of pent up, stomach clenching, heart busting anxiety).. I like to do breathing exercises. I go to the bathroom, put on my ipod headphones and just BREATHE for an entire song. (I like enya) Know that you can escape, can take a few minutes, can get it together.
- Keep busy but do not over-whelm yourself. I am not the best multi-tasker, I do much better by focusing on doing on thing well at a time, checking that off, and moving on, throughout the day. This works for me. If I have enough things to keep me going all day, everything is a whole lot better.
- Take control of the things you can, and accept those you can't change.
Stop freaking out over passed decisions, what ifs, possible outcomes.. I know, easier said than done. But say it over and over and over again in whatever way you find more appealing. Panicking will change nothing, it is a useless activity.
- Turn unhappy thoughts in happy ones.
Clicker training for your brain
positive reinforcement!
"I hate my job" = "I don't like my job very much today.. but it has taught me x, y, z and I have met y, z because of it"
"MY GPA is awful"/"I am so fat" = "I am not defined by those numbers.. look at all the things I like about myself!"
- Set aside crazy time.
You heard me, crazy time (also very useful with a friend)
10 minutes a day. Somewhere dark and alone. Scream, punch a pillow, RANT AND RAVE about EVERYTHING. WALLOW in your first world problems. Blast LOUD angry teenager music, tear some papers, stomp.
Don't not hold back. Yell like a sullen teenager. Let your crazy feelings take the wheel
"MY BOSS IS A JERK AND I SUCK AND I PROCRASTINATE AND I HAVE A PAPER DUE AND I DO NOT LIKE PICKLES AND I SHOULD HAVE CALLED HIM AND I HATE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE!"
Set an alarm. Let er rip. Take a long shower.. move on with your day.
- Breathe.
I know this sounds like some crazy psycho babble but trust me on this. Deep breathing fixes most things
- Sleep more.
Try to get as many as you can. Tired anxious people are even crazier than regular anxious people.
- Do not find a pacifier. Eating was one, and no matter how "healthy" another may seem.. it is just that, a bandaid, you aren't dealing with the root of what is making you upset and that right there, is unhealthy.
Do not confuse a pacifier with a destresser. Working out, exercise, deep breathing.. these are activities that through endorphins and oxygen, physically calm you down.
Pacifiers are mental. Lip picking, eating, scratching, hair pulling, nail biting.. they are self pacifying behaviors.
- Exercise.
When I started running was when I found an escape from being an anxious mess. Endorphins, a tired body, pounding the pavement, clearing my head, deep breathing.. it is anxieties worst nightmare in a pair of running shoes.
- Don't skip meals. Eat regularly.
Big dips in blood sugars lead to sugar crashes and hyper active moods. Highs and lows. Not good.
- Sex.
Self explanatory. Sex with yourself, sex with others.. it's like an endorphin cocktail.
- Smile.
Trick your body into actually being pleasant. It works.
- AFFIRMATIONS.
These sound crazy, but let me tell you.. they are oddly comforting.
Mine is "I am happy. I am strong. I am just right. Everything will be ok. I will calm down."
Say it again and again and again
- Find a hand toy.
Idle hands and all.
My personal favorite?
It shifts your focus, there is no winning or losing, it is a squishy relaxer. Plus it smells of childhood.
- The happy book
Oh god, cant believe I've saved this puppy for last.
Get a notebook. I like composition notebooks because they are cheap and unassuming (I am threatening by fancy journals) or a blog
Fill it with things you love. Things that make you smile. Funny things that happen on the train. Tape the starbucks cup holder where the guy wrote "Sparkles" instead of your actual name. Spray that perfume you love.
Write down everything you are happy about. When you are happy about it. From long paragraphs about your parents to "The last french fry at the bottom of the bag"
There is no bad/sad talk allowed in the happy book.
Write things you love about yourself, about your favorite tv show, quotes from your favorite book.
Try to take it everywhere if you can.
When in doubt, pull it out. Smell it, write in it, read it..
- The blog
Like your happy book except you can add video/pictures. Fill it with things you love in an easy format. Especially useful when you need to just look at things that you love and not think about your evil boss or work pressures.
Here is mine:
http://justfransheska.tumblr.com/
and a better one:
http://try-to-stay-positive.tumblr.com/
- Find what is making you anxious. If you can change it.. do.
- Last but not least.. a good therapist. Shop around.
- Also, a good psychiatrist. And some awesome meds. Do not be ashamed to admit you need help.
