Dad shoots laptop because of FB post

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by LauraLeigh, Feb 10, 2012.

  1. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    Just out of curiosity, how do you know that the relationship was "what little of a relationship there was"? Because she was ungrateful? Because she was annoyed with her parents? I guess I ask this because I was very much like that as a teenager and I did not have a bad relationship with my mom. We got along most of the time but had our rough patches. Also, we don't really know what they have gone through as a family. It's easy to say "Well *I* would have sat down and had a mature, heart to heart with *my* kid and just explained why those kinds of comments hurt my feelings. Who knows, maybe the parents did that--472749592847 times, and it was not working. Maybe they were at the end of their rope and decided that this might wake her up more effectively.

    Also, I don't understand the idea of associating donating to charity with punishment. How does "you've been bad, now you have to give your stuff to poor people" teach the child the value of giving to those less fortunate? It automatically links something that us supposed to be a positive thing with all kinds if negative feelings.

    I wonder if it is the act if shooting the laptop that bugs people. I wonder if hr threw it in a dumpster or dropped it in a pond if it would get that reaction.

    Then again, I also believe that parents have to do something pretty freaking horrible to not deserve the respect of their kids, so perhaps I am just old fashioned--lol.
     
  2. Xandra

    Xandra Active Member

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    Well, I dislike the destruction of the laptop and the method of destruction has no bearing on that. I like guns and shooting lol but waste bothers me.

    To me donating it isn't so much to teach her that giving is good. It's a)completely regardless of teaching her a lesson, I just don't like waste; b) some grateful person could have really used it, their missed opportunity makes me a little sad c) it may not teach her to love charity but at least it wouldn't teach her to just blow away something valuable on a whim, because you can. But c'est la vie I guess, people wreck perfectly good stuff all the time ("Will It Blend"? *cries* lol)
     
  3. sassafras

    sassafras mushinois

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    I do and don't understand the "well he could have given it to charity" sentiment. It's a nice thought, but it's hardly an obligation and I don't think it would teach any more of a lesson than destroying it. Either way, the girl doesn't have her laptop anymore.

    I mean, he could have given the money to charity instead of buying a laptop at all. Or I could have given the money I spent on the movies last weekend to charity. Or people could quit smoking and give their cigarette money to charity. Nobody's pointing fingers around here saying "oh you could have given that collar money to charity", why care what one guy you don't even know does with his own property?
     
  4. blue

    blue Jerk.

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    Good on him. Its not hypocritical if he paid for the laptop either.
     
  5. Red.Apricot

    Red.Apricot Active Member

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    It sounds, from the updates, that he finally got through to her. Of course, we really only have his side to go on.

    It sounded to me like the laptop needed a new charger cable and a new battery, which means quite a bit of money before it's up and running, right? Are there charities that would be able to use it, even?
     
  6. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    I suppose I don't see the destruction of the laptop as that big of a deal, especially if it is an older model--those actually lose value very quickly. Either way, he paid for it so I guess it is his to shoot.
     
  7. Paige

    Paige Let it be

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    I agree. The laptop was his to shoot. I doubt I would ever do this to my child but her face isn't plastered on the video. Does the general public even know who she is? If not I see it as no harm. Just her direct friend circle knows.
     
  8. AdrianneIsabel

    AdrianneIsabel Glutton for Crazy

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    Frankly I think this guy is my soul mate. I laughed the whole time and found it very fair. I did laugh at the thought he made it into a video but whatever.

    Wasteful? Maybe, those are nice bullets.
     
  9. CharlieDog

    CharlieDog Rude and Not Ginger

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    Best quote of this whole thread. :D
     
  10. AndrewF

    AndrewF MIiA

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    This is called natural consequences. I'm a fan!

    Was the fathers public response to being publicly flogged by his daughter fitting? Yes.
    Was the laptop his to do as he pleased? Yes
    Were 8 or 9 shots a little overkill? Perhaps, but he gets points for style.
    Was his response mature or did it follow the high-road? Probably not, but then again, sometimes to make a point it has to be delivered in a fashion that is understood. I'd say there's a good chance he met that objective....and gave her something to legitmately whine about. :D

    Just my opinion.
     
  11. NicoleLJ

    NicoleLJ PSD Partner

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    This. I am a firm believer in natural consequences.
     
  12. GipsyQueen

    GipsyQueen Active Member

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    ehhh Im torn - yeah sure I laughed at the video but I don't the situation was handled very well to be honest. I was horrible at 14/15. I didnt post things like that on facebook though.... then again I didnt have facebook back then. I think its odd when 13/14 year olds have fb anyway.
    I think I drove my dad insane!! I do remember him wanting to take away my computer a few times - which he did once - I had to earn it back. But he wouldnt have broken it. (Ive had my own computer since I was 12 because my dads a computer freak and builds his own every 2 years. I have alwys bought my own laptops though.)

    edit:sorry about all the spelling mistakes :) Im on my parents tablet and stink at using the keyboard :p
     
  13. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    15 year olds can be annoying. It's a fact. I was annoying at 15. I slammed doors, I rolled eyes, I talk NON SENSE with my friends, I pushed my limits.. it happens. all those teenage hormones rushing around certainly didn't help lol and well, my parents didn't shoot anything but taking away priveledges certainly did work. and yea, forcing us to volunteer (the closest you can do at 15 to "getting a job" did put things in perspective)

    I think it was funny lol and I get the point of it.. but I don't think it was well handled.. if my dad ever made a scene like that it would've scared me to bits (and not in a.. "Im gonna change" way, but in a seriously scared of him shooting up the house.. kind of way)
    and I still think It's kind of a waste.. why shoot it? Donate it. Sell it. whatever.

    As for "See what happens when young people get ipads/laptops whatever at young ages".. please. a brat is a brat no matter how much stuff she has. It has to do with the kid, how they were raised and everything else.
    I have met awful rude little brats with nothing. And kids with every material thing they could ever want that have been gracious and polite.

    I got my 8 year old God-son an ipad. He wanted one. I'm his god mother. It's all he wanted, and he said it was a birthday/christmas double gift.. so I got it for him. He is still as sweet and kind as ever.. go figure lol

    Material possessions do not define character.
     
  14. Kat09Tails

    Kat09Tails *Now with Snark*

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    I gotta admit I was a little horrified at the video and bothered more so at the hooting masses that approved the message.

    First off teenagers will be teenagers. They'll bitch, they'll think they're entitled to what they have been gifted, they'll have their own agenda, that's life and it's nothing new. You have to show them how to be adults in conflicts, how you should treat people and objects of value, and appreciating what you've got.

    You know what - money sometimes is a powerful motivator - maybe being paid for chores is a good thing? I know it helped massively with my 14 year old nephew and sometimes he has to use his allowance to pay his parents when he fails to do something that is required. That action put him from a D-C student in middle school to a A-B student his freshman year of high school - no nagging or homework checking required. He also gets up in the morning on time without being told, picks up his room, cleans his bathroom, and walks the dog. All for the novel cost of $25 a week plus a good grade bonus. He still has his moments where he is 100% teenager but really... adults take time to develop.

    I just know for me - if my folks dropped this kind of bomb on me for a frustrated teenager I HATE YOU moment I can't see this helping our relationship, if anything it would have taught me just to be more careful about them finding out how I feel about anything they might disapprove of.
     
  15. LindaJD

    LindaJD New Member

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    First I want to say, I found that father kind of attractive.
    I see no problem with what he did. The girl sounds like she was a spoiled brat. My kids all got jobs at 14, the age you can work in the grocery stores around here. Taught them some work ethic and they did it year round, going to school, playing sports and working for the extras they want.
    Teenagers can be trying for adults, they want to be treated like adults but so many times don't act like adults. Until you parent a teenager or 2, you really don't know the frustration that can go along with it at times. It is a scary time for adults when their kids are teenagers especially now a days.
     
  16. -bogart-

    -bogart- Member of WHODAT Nation.

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    great job , go dad.

    Drastic times call for Dastic measure , and since she had been grounded for months already for the same offense this was not a new problem , but an on going issue. Teens need to have there attention grabbed sometimes.

    and linda , i also found him manly and alluring. weird because my soul mate is a short hairy italian.
     
  17. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

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    God forbid my mum EVER read my diary as a teenager.....

    Jesus wept, what a twat of a father. I wonder what her relationship is like with him now?

    I really do not understand how public humiliation and destruction are ok. There are SO SO many other ways to discipline kids without resorting to that.

    No wonder she rants about it on Facebook.
     
  18. Jules

    Jules Magic, motherf@%$*#!

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    I thought it was horrible. So, that's the new way to parent your child, I guess. Public humiliation to teach her a lesson. On top of that, I was horrified that he pulled out his gun to shoot her laptop, but that might just be me and a cultural thing. Donating it would have been a better solution and there are much better ways to teach your teen a sense of responsibility. This actually sickened me.

    I won't judge a parent for tough love as a last resort, when nothing else seems to work... But this was just over the top.
     
  19. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    I guess I don't see why it is so horrible to destroy something that you own and paid for. It's not something that I personally would do (but then again I have problems in the other direction, I never want to throw anything away), but so what if someone else wants to? The thing may or may not have even had any real monetary value. It was an in animate piece of equipment, not a living thing.
     
  20. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    What would Dr. Phil say? LOL. I think he's smart and good at what he does. And I suspect he would say that the father was lowering himself to her level of maturity....stooping to a bratty child's level to deal with a bratty child. How did she get so bratty in the first place? What happened all along during her childhood to leave her with no respect for her parents? I think something like this causes more of a break down of communication. They'll not be able to work out what the trouble is because she'll be so humiliated and angry. Of course, consequences should be made to happen if she doesn't do her chores. And consequences should happen when she does do her chores. Her ranting on FB is not nice, it's disrespectful, but it should be her business. It's an outlet for how she feels and how she feels is what needs to be dealt with, not the symptoms. Reducing himself to her level and then ranting like a child, humiliating and angering her is not setting any good example of how to grow up and become responsible and mature about solving problems or dealing with people who upset or anger her.
     

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