Conjugal visits?

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by Fran101, Dec 9, 2012.

  1. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    I've been watching prison wives all evening.. a fascinating waste of time lol
    and I noticed some states allow certain things (like conjugal visits) and some don't.
    What do you think about the issue?

    Do prisoners have the right to a little something something with their wives?

    I'm on the fence. On one hand.. I'm like..they are prisoners. They are serving time not on vacation..they've most likely done something awful. And especially with those charged with murder.. the people they killed certainly aren't getting any
    but on the other.. I kind of feel for their wives and I do believe prisons have mentioned that it lowers prisoner violence and fights..which I suppose is a good thing.
    and all prisons allow marriages. So it's like..well..
    Regardless It's weird that states have different rules on the issue. Like where you committed a crime somehow makes your stay in prison more/less bad.


    Thoughts?
     
  2. Airn

    Airn New Member

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    Oooh. Well I guess it would depend on what they're in prison for. Also if they are 'good' prisoners. How long are they going to be there? I think this is more like "Why are the wives/girlfriends still with these guys?". I think prison could use an over-haul, anyway. We (America) tends to suck at re-introducing people who have served time into the world. I'm like you, Fran. On one hand I am emphatic and feel bad and on the other.... you screwed up. You know the consequences. You shouldn't have done what you did.

    Personally I couldn't imagine myself doing something like that. I mean, everyone knows why you're there. That's a bit too public for me. But I also couldn't imagine myself being in a relationship with a prisoner. My love has limits.
     
  3. crazedACD

    crazedACD Active Member

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    For good behavior...I'm completely fine with it.
     
  4. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    Oh yea no way in hell Lol Me? HA! No way, no how.

    but from what I've noticed... most of these women meet these men with prison writing programs/marry in prison.
    Which is already kind of 0.o to me.. but I feel like, if we are allowing them to have pen pals and get married... private visits doesn't seem that far fetched.

    The weirdest thing to me is that some of these women seem to really be in love you know? Maybe I'm just too much of a push over but I really find myself feeling bad for them... a relationship made of 30 minute phone calls and letters and visits through a plexiglass window once a month..
    but then I'm back to.. BUT HE'S A MURDERER!

    and then I just hate the part of me that wants bad people to suffer like it somehow makes what they did..better?
    They are in prison. Serving time..safe away from society. That should be enough. It's not a good part of human nature to want to make the guilty suffer.

    Complicated.
     
  5. AdrianneIsabel

    AdrianneIsabel Glutton for Crazy

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    Yup and I bet it inspires good behavior.
     
  6. Xandra

    Xandra Active Member

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    Nah I don't have a problem with it. I'll believe that a little womanly love makes them more civilized. No really though if I were trying to "rehab" someone I'd definitely be trying to put them in situations that inspire feelings of affection, tenderness etc

    Obviously they failed at being nice before, they dont' need anymore practice at being "hard" and tough. They need practice at being gentle and nurturing lol

    Plus, yeah, can be used as a click-treat reward kind of thing.
     
  7. Torch

    Torch New Member

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    I'm fine with it if we're talking about a model prisoner, or as something that the prisoner has to earn.

    I am also creeped out by these women who get with men and marry them AFTER they have committed and been convicted of these horrible crimes. I could kinda empathize with a woman who was married to a prisoner before he became a criminal. But if they marry the dude after the fact it.does.not.compute. for me.
     
  8. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    Part of the reasoning behind it was to try to curtail some of the prison rape.
     
  9. xpaeanx

    xpaeanx Active Member

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    Click.Treat.

    I kinda feel like the women need to have proof of psychiatric stability before they go in though. lol. I just can't picture seeking someone who was put in prison. Honestly, unless the man got caught like stealing cancer meds to save their dying mother who couldn't afford them... I can't say I'd even stay with someone who was put in prison.
     
  10. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    When I worked at the bonding company, one of the female agents was working on filing some of the new clients' info sheets and pics.

    She was going through them, looking at which ones were single, saying, "this one looks hot . . . "

    I just looked at her.
     
  11. xpaeanx

    xpaeanx Active Member

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    ....And that's why America has a 50% divorce rate. lol.
     
  12. joce

    joce Active Member

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    They are usually women with issues and its sad to watch :( They look for a man that is unavailable and usually if he gets out it doesn't last long.

    No, your in jail, why should you get to have sex. You are there to be punished and part of that is that you are not alone with your so. Sorry. You screwed up. If your other half waits around great for you, but it gives you both time to think I guess.

    Not breaking the law so you don't go to jail is supposed to make you have good behavior.
     
  13. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

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    Me too, perhaps if prisons offered "conjugal visits" as payment for good behavior then maybe they would get less "prisoners behaving badly"
     
  14. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    I'm fine with it when used as an incentive for good behavior. Also, if we are talking about people who where married before the spouse went to prison, intimacy can help keep the marriage together for the long haul if the guy gets out. If someone is going to be released it makes sense to me that the more they have to come home to the more incentive they have to stay out of trouble.
     
  15. SevenSins

    SevenSins Guest

    I'm all for conjugal visits as a reward for good behavior in prison, regardless of why the offender is locked up. No, prison is not a luxury hotel, and it may seem as if the most logical solution is to simply lock offenders up in a cell without luxury items like TV sets or positive reinforcement (particularly those serving LWOP or are on death row for violent crimes...after all, it isn't as if they're there to be rehabilitated and released), but it's not that simple and creates an even more dangerous environment for the corrections officers, fellow inmates, and others that work in the prison than is already inherently there.
     
  16. Dekka

    Dekka Just try me..

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    But isn't the goal (or shouldn't the goal) of jail to make it so people don't commit more crimes?

    If so shouldn't fixing people be the plan. Punishing them and making them harder and less likely to reintegrate is only going to push them to more crime..
     
  17. joce

    joce Active Member

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    Then educate them. Many reoffend. I do t think the visits stop it. It's been shown many many programs and follow ups don't stop them from reoffending.

    I'd think knowing they can keep seeing the wife on the inside alone is like "why not".
     
  18. Dekka

    Dekka Just try me..

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    actually if you look at places (countries) that have much better rates of non reoffending.. its not about punishment its about teaching them to be good citizens.

    It has been shown over and over again that the 'punishment' aspect only makes things worse. Its not that it should be easy, but if your goal is to fix the person..

    Its hard to take when someone does something 'bad' and then they are seen as not being punished. But people are animals too. Punishment rarely works the way we want it too.
     
  19. Jules

    Jules Magic, motherf@%$*#!

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    I am all for it when it is used as a good reward. We NEED to focus on rehabilitation instead of incarceration.

    I know I've said it a thousand times before and I'll say it again: across the border, so so many, if not most offenders have a sad history. No, not growing up poor or simply having it rough, these are men (and women) who fall through the cracks. People who stopped
    to school in 6th, 7th, 8th grade. They don't have a future to support themselves and a lot of them don't have the mental capabilities to even comprehend. We need to give them tools to succeed in life, and even if it is something as stupid and silly as rewarding good behavior with a night with their wife then so be it. They need to be taught what it means to be a good citizen as nobody ever cared to show them before.

    Now, obviously that doesn't include each and every offender across the board. However, this is what I deal with at work, all our clients are bad boys with sentences usually ranging from 20 to 120 years - we rarely get the smart, educated guy in who just did x to further himself quickly as easy as possible.
     
  20. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    Those years working with criminal defense taught me one thing -- there are more people in prison for stupid than because they are -- or WERE -- actually "bad."

    Sure, there are some real criminals, sociopaths and psychos in there, but I saw a whole lot more stupid, for whatever reason -- and I do agree with Jules -- than I saw of the evil sort.

    I agree with Dekka too. It's pretty obvious that our prison system does one thing well -- it makes more criminals, and they tend to be more desperate, violent and callous when they get out.

    I don't know what the answers are, but I can't see that there's any concerned or concerted effort being made to look for any. I guess because it's easier to get re-elected on a "lock 'em up and throw away the key to keep you safe" platform?
     

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