Chaz Moms and Moms-to-Be Chat (everyone welcome)

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by jenv101, Oct 23, 2012.

  1. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

    Joined:
    May 16, 2009
    Messages:
    13,402
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Kennel Manager
    Location:
    Guelph, Ontario
    Child posting? LOL
     
  2. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2005
    Messages:
    28,563
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Occupation:
    3
    Location:
    Lancaster, PA
    Home Page:
    Ugh yes I hate when my Eew qqwe decides to naqmwe. That is the worst :p
     
  3. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2005
    Messages:
    17,761
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    Not enough.
    Location:
    Wales
    I have a question :)

    We are talking about trying for kids in the near future... I have just been diagnosed with a dermoid cyst, and go back for a scan in August. It's only small (3cm). There were 2 cysts, but the ultrasound lady said she thought one was actually a functional cyst, and one was the dermoid.

    I know I should speak to my doctor, but I never have time to go to appointments there, plus the doctor knows my other half and its just weird (hazard of living in a tiny place and living with the dead collector lol)... But, I don't know if the cyst could cause complications with pregnancy, or what....

    Google says no, but most people have them removed before pregnancy. I don't think we want to wait that long before trying.

    Part of me is thinking just sod it and see, and part of me thinks I should be more sensible.

    Any experience?
     
  4. AllisonPitbullLvr

    AllisonPitbullLvr New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2012
    Messages:
    886
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Where is the cyst Dizzy?

    My coworker had a large cyst removed from her uterus and a month later was pregnant with twins. She's due to give birth anytime now :) not sure if that's helpful.
     
  5. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2005
    Messages:
    17,761
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    Not enough.
    Location:
    Wales
    Ovary. They haven't talked about removing it, just sat its small. They don't go away though, so if it grows it will have to go I assume.
     
  6. AllisonPitbullLvr

    AllisonPitbullLvr New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2012
    Messages:
    886
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I would think then, if anything, it would cause issues conceiving but not with a pregnancy itself. That's my non-medical professional thought anyways lol
     
  7. Grab

    Grab Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2005
    Messages:
    3,374
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    36
    I would presume the same :)
     
  8. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2005
    Messages:
    17,761
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    Not enough.
    Location:
    Wales
    Interesting :) I guess time will tell... And I should just talk to the doc I suppose.... Le sigh.

    The right is all hunky dory as far as I know!
     
  9. AllisonPitbullLvr

    AllisonPitbullLvr New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2012
    Messages:
    886
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I love when my kid sleeps through the night, except for waking up with rocks for boobs and being soaked in milk. Dammit.
     
  10. meepitsmeagan

    meepitsmeagan Meagan & The Cattle Dog Crew

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2012
    Messages:
    3,378
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    5
    Location:
    Michigan
    Josh and I have kind of thrown around the idea of fostering a child WAY in the future. I've done a little research on it and know the basics of getting started. Anyone with some personal experience here?
     
  11. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2005
    Messages:
    17,761
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    Not enough.
    Location:
    Wales
    I'm not a foster carer, but I am a social worker who works specifically with fostered children, and foster carers.

    What do you want to know...? Fostering is rewarding and very very very hard work. A thankless task quite often! I've worked with short term carers, long term carers, respite carers, local authority carers, family carers and private agency carers, and residential and therapeutic... You name it :D
     
  12. stardogs

    stardogs Behavior Nerd

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2009
    Messages:
    4,925
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    2 dogs, 1 cat
    Location:
    NC
    Home Page:
  13. milos_mommy

    milos_mommy Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2006
    Messages:
    15,348
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    I don't know THAT much about foster care, besides looking into the basics, but I'd really like to foster (long term, and maybe foster-to-adopt) one day.

    I have two questions for Chaz moms today:

    1 - Does anyone have to deal with their family being weird about nursing in front of them? I know most of you live with your SO on your own, but even with visiting family or something? My mom mildly FREAKS out if I'm nursing and my dad or brother comes into the room and literally tries to throw a blanket over me and the baby. And it's not like I'm sitting there topless waving my boobs around for everyone to see...this is when Lillian is latched on and I'm wearing a nursing top and you can see all of an inch of my boob IF YOU LOOK THAT CLOSELY. How do I make her/everyone STFU and let me feed my child?

    2 - I think Lillian is smiling socially...but she's not even 3 weeks yet. She ONLY does it for my dad. She smiles a lot in her sleep or when she's gassy, but recently whenever my dad is talking to her or tickling her she'll get a BIG smile. Is that possible/likely?
     
  14. meepitsmeagan

    meepitsmeagan Meagan & The Cattle Dog Crew

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2012
    Messages:
    3,378
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    5
    Location:
    Michigan
    Can you start off short term and change your "terms" after your first child? Like, if we wanted to start off with a short term foster, and then maybe a long term along the road.. is that possible? Or do you have to be in certain categories and that's all you get?

    How does the whole process work with getting the child, keeping the child in your home, and then the child leaving? Are you assigned a child based on your age wish? What about visitation stuff with their birth parents (if applicable, of course)?

    Like I said, I've done SOME research, but mainly on the training and stuff that you need to go through to be a foster parent.
     
  15. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

    Joined:
    May 16, 2009
    Messages:
    13,402
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Kennel Manager
    Location:
    Guelph, Ontario
    The main thing I know about it, is all dogs living in the house are thoroughly tested, and after you're approved to foster a child, you cannot foster dogs, since all animals must be thoroughly screened by them. Same with any incoming puppies, must be OK-ed and screened by the agency, or you can lose your fostering abilities.
     
  16. AllisonPitbullLvr

    AllisonPitbullLvr New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2012
    Messages:
    886
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MM-
    I would just flat out tell your mom, hey, it's just a boob. Get over it. Tell her that it doesn't make you uncomfortable so why should it make her uncomfortable?
    I nursed Ev at the mall on Tuesday and it was hot and I couldn't get her to latch well at first under the nursing cover so I just threw it over my should and popped my boob out then covered up once she was latched. You gotta do what you gotta do and seriously, it's JUST a boob!
    As for the smiles, I would say it for sure could be real smiles! We get them all the time now at 6 weeks but I do think she would throw us occasional ones here and there at 4 weeks.

    Andddd here is my heart:
    [​IMG]
     
  17. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2005
    Messages:
    17,761
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    Not enough.
    Location:
    Wales
    Ok...taking into account that I am based in the UK, so policies may be slightly different!

    Here you are thoroughly assessed. They complete something known as a form F which basically looks at every aspect of your life. They don't mind about bad stuff happening in your past but they do care about how you managed it and dealt with it. They get health checks from your doctor, references from employers, family, etc. they do thorough police checks etc.

    During the assessment process you express what age range/experience you have and what your interest might be (respite, short term, long term etc). Then the person completing the assessment will make a recommendation as to what age range/number of kids etc you can foster. You then go to a panel of people who have to approve you and the number of kids you can foster/type/age etc. Here there are different pay scales depending on age of kids and experience of carer/need of child etc.

    You get basic training you have to complete, and are offered training as a carer. I would HIGHLY recommend looking into attachment theory as it is a corner stone of most of the work we do. Here you are allocated your own social worker to support you (I work with the kids, all carers have their own worker who I liaise with).

    You can always change your preference, but it has to be approved at the panel. Any decisions here are approved by the fostering panel. There aren't many people who foster to adopt that I know of, although I do know carers who have adopted their kids. It just doesn't happen all that much.

    Depending on who you work for will determine your role and your expectations. Carers have very few rights, as they don't hold parental responsibility. Which can be very frustrating for some people. You can't make decisions for the child that a parent can make (or a corporate parent - government who has care of the child).

    Private care agencies often offer a support package of therapeutic care and have psychologists/therapists etc attached who the child can access, and will support a carer with day to day life with children who have extra needs. But that is expensive and councils are poor!! So a child is lucky to get a private therapeutic placement. However, I think it is moving more into the private sector (in the uk) and there are less local authority carers.

    Children move on when it is time to. They may return to parents, or reach independence. Foster placement can and do break down. More often than you might like to think. You want to love the kids, but they don't often appreciate it. The decision to move on will be decided by the social worker/courts and is usually done through meetings. Usually a plan is put into place to rehab the kid on to wherever they are going (for eg, I have kids in short term places whilst we are in court, then they move on to their long term placements or adoption.. You are an integral part of that move on).

    You are expected to attend meetings, and share information, transport kids around, give up your time. Lots of carers work though, but you do have to find time for certain things!! You might have to do things you don't agree with too. You might find kids needing to come at very short notice, or moving on at very short notice. It's hard work!!!

    Most kids in care do have contact with their birth families, and depending on r family it will determine how often, how it affects them and how involved you will be in it.... Sometimes parents can build up a great relationship with the carer. Most often they don't.... Or the kids wouldn't be in care. It can be one of the most difficult things to deal with, and honestly I think most kids have WAY too much contact with birth families.... It does not help them at all. But thats neither here nor there!

    Errrrrrr...... It's a full time job!
     
  18. AllisonPitbullLvr

    AllisonPitbullLvr New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2012
    Messages:
    886
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Obi and Everleigh [​IMG]
     
  19. milos_mommy

    milos_mommy Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2006
    Messages:
    15,348
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Oh that's great! Boxers are typically so great with kids!

    So far Milo is 100% pretending he hasn't noticed the baby exists. He doesn't come up to me/whoever is holding her. He doesn't look at her bassinet or swing if she's in it. He's separated from her most of the time, and I miss him, but he seems to be adjusting fine, which is good. And it's better than him obsessively trying to get to her, which is what I was afraid would happen.
     
  20. Taqroy

    Taqroy Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2009
    Messages:
    5,566
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    3
    Location:
    Colorado
    <3 What a great picture.
     

Share This Page