Chaz Moms and Moms-to-Be Chat (everyone welcome)

Taqroy

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I'm not worried about her getting sick as much as I'm worried that I'm going to be completely overwhelmed trying to figure stuff out, trying to breastfeed, trying to be a mom and we are totally going to be bombarded.
Learn how to set limits and recruit your DH to run interference BEFORE you have the baby. And say no when you don't want company, for serious. Matt's mom and dad were in town for two weeks (they left last week) and we said no to a lot of stuff. They didn't really like it but neither of us really cared - especially after they tried to emotionally blackmail Matt. I hate to say it, but you should probably be prepared for that too. "We want to see the baby more" and "Well I would have been thrilled to hold the baby" and "We live 4000 miles away, every moment is precious" and a million variations thereof. It's YOUR baby and YOUR family and YOUR life.

Also, one of the biggest perks of breastfeeding? You can totally disappear for however long you want because "the baby is hungry!". Having a break from our respective families is all that kept them from being murdered multiple times.

I ran out of tact after about three weeks. I'm much happier without it though. :p
 

sparks19

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I'm not worried about her getting sick as much as I'm worried that I'm going to be completely overwhelmed trying to figure stuff out, trying to breastfeed, trying to be a mom and we are totally going to be bombarded.

Thinking about it yesterday actually made me really grumpy.
Along with the constant "no baby yet?" texts, I've been having people tell me (TELL, not ask) that they'll be coming down to see us as soon as she's born. Sigh. It's crazy how people will give boatloads of advice about "sleep when the baby sleeps!" but then tell you how they plan to be there when she is born.

Rant.
Send out an email now... Don't worry about tact. Send an email informing everyone that only immediate family will be allowed at the hospital for reasons XYZ.

Then inform the nurses of this rule. They should
Let you know when visitors arrive over the phone and give you veto power. If this isn't mentioned then make this request. The nurses will turn them away for you or call you to make sure and then turn them away.
 

milos_mommy

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Also you don't have to notify anyone that you've gone into labor OR given birth until you get home. I'm still not sure I'm even going to call some pretty close friends to tell them he or she was born until we're about to leave the hospital. Our families sound like plenty enough visitors.
 
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Thanks everyone :)

The only person who will know I'm in labor besides DH will be my mom. My hospital doesn't have a maternity waiting room (thankfully!) so they don't allow people to come wait unless they're in delivery. Then visiting hours are between 2-8 and can be as strict or as lax as us moms want them to be. I have always had great nurses there so I'm hoping they'll run interference until we go home.

Then I'm in trouble. DH is super warm hearted and way over accommodating to friends, family and neighbors. We've already talked about it but I definitely need to sit him down again and explain. Thankfully he's taking two weeks off so I've already told him that for those two weeks, my ONLY job is to feed, change and care for our baby and the rest (housework, dog duty) is his.
 

milos_mommy

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Maybe just tell him if anyone calls or texts him and asks to come over, to say "I have to check with Allison and see if she feels up to it, I'll let you know."

Thankfully I have ZERO issue with telling people "I really enjoyed our visit, but it's time for me to feed the baby/nap/rest, so you need to leave in a few minutes." But my plan is telling friends who want to visit "I'm not feeling great, but why don't you stop by for an hour just to meet the baby/visit."

I figure you sort of get a free pass to be a little crazy/bitchy right after giving birth.

ETA: Oh...if you haven't...CALL your hospital and ask about visiting policy. My hospital's website says the exact same thing as far as visiting (no one except Dad or Coach in the delivery room, no visitors in Labor and Delivery, and visitors age 14+ in maternity). Yeah...nope. At the hospital tour they told us that you can have anyone/as many people as you want in L&D, visiting hours in maternity are pretty much open-ended, and they'll only kick out children if they appear sick or are misbehaving (being loud, running around, etc.)
 

milos_mommy

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My mom kept joking that the baby will be able to wear a different outfit every day for his or her first year of life...but I just counted some of the clothes and she might actually be right.

I have 43 onesies, and that's not counting any of the onesies that came in a set with an outfit, or full-body sleepers, or the probably 10-15 onesies people decorated at my baby shower.
 

Paige

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My babies pooped and puked so much they were going through 3-4 sleepers a day.:rofl1:

I don't eve nbother getting them dressed unleess we are going outside anymore.
 

Barbara!

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How do you guys plan to afford childcare? One of my biggest worries right now is that. Looking into assistance programs, but any tips from you moms?
 

Grab

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A tip? Count on never having anything nice again. Lol
Pretty much this. We both work but it's still a huge chunk of income. We just budget. We have one car and share it because our daycare is the same as a car payment..
 

milos_mommy

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I can't really imagine what I'd do for daycare if I moved away late in my pregnancy. I'm hoping to move about an hour away next year, and if I can't keep going to school almost entirely funded by scholarships, at a school that offers day care, it's not going to happen.

I don't know what I'd do if I had no family nearby and was working a lot of hours.

Have you looked into swapping childcare with someone? Maybe someone who works nights or an alternate schedule to yours? Or even if you can swap childcare with someone who works part time evenings/whenever you're not working, that'll save you on the cost of 20 hours of childcare a week.

You also have to be so careful when you find a facility OR individual to care for your child :( some of the horror stories of things that happen with a nanny or in a day care are just awful.
 

Barbara!

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Also... In case breast feeding doesn't work out... Any formula recommendations? I have no clue where to start with that. I'm copying most things from what we used with my little sis... Nuk brand bottles, and they used Infamil for formula.
 

milos_mommy

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I've heard most doctors recommending wal-mart's store brand of formula. I don't actually know what the brand is called, but apparently most formulas are made exactly the same, because of strict FDA regulations. So supposedly wal-mart's brand is pretty much the exact same product as Similac, Infamil, etc...for like a third of the price.
 

Grab

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When I had to switch Clive to formula at around 6 months, we bought similac for several months. Finally we read that Walmart's brand was pretty much the same, which we did find to be true. (other store brands he'd had digestive issues, etc) I believe they have one that is similar to Similac and one that's like Enfamil.
 

milos_mommy

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Well my mother just went off on how she always put me to sleep on my stomach as a newborn and "just made sure my face was turned to the size".

Guess who's at the top of my WHO CAN BABYSIT NEVER list?
 

Taqroy

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Well my mother just went off on how she always put me to sleep on my stomach as a newborn and "just made sure my face was turned to the size".

Guess who's at the top of my WHO CAN BABYSIT NEVER list?
Lol. Well to be fair, that was the recommendation for a long time. I'm guessing you told her that the new recommendations are for back sleeping only?
 

milos_mommy

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Lol. Well to be fair, that was the recommendation for a long time. I'm guessing you told her that the new recommendations are for back sleeping only?
I'm 23. Her exact words "when you were born everyone said not to put you on your stomach but I did it anyway." When I was like "UM YOU'RE LUCKY WE'RE NOT DEAD, IF YOU DID THAT NOW YOU'D PROBABLY BE ARRESTED FOR CHILD ENDANGERMENT" and she was like "well, the doctors didn't tell me, just other people". I guess the AAP recommendations didn't change until after I was born, but I know she did the same with my brother, and that was well after awareness.

She's also brought up me needed a crib bumper probably 30 times. I showed her the AAP websites and warnings about crib bumpers (and the pamplets from the hospital saying don't use them) and she was like "oh, okay, I guess you're right...." but then a week later she started telling me I needed one again. A few days ago I got "well you're going to be sorry when the baby's arm gets stuck and you have to twist it and hurt them to get it back in".
 

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