Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by jenv101, Oct 23, 2012.
Awww, congrats!! Glad he's here and healthy!
Congrats! What a cute lil guy <3
What an adorable and tiny guy!
Congratulations Joce! He is precious.
Clarissa and Aura hanging out. Aura thinks she's getting a massage and that babies are awesome.
And just a cute recent pic...obligatory animal ears.
My precious littlest one just turned 15 Months. She's talking a storm, but not walking yet
Newborns make me melt inside. What a beautiful little baby.
Any tips for easing separation anxiety? Lillian is 7 months and screams bloody murder every time I start to walk away from her. I kwow it's normal but I want ideas for how to minimize the trauma every time I get up to pee or make her a bottle (and yes I already take her to the bathroom with me 95% of the time)
Consistency... Briggs is a total momma's boy but he separates from me just fine. Blake does not. He screams bloody murder when anyone leaves a room. Does she have anything that helps her self sooth?
I am not one to give out advice though because both my boys sit on my lap still at 1 and 3 when I have to go to the bathroom.
Its a hard stage for sure. Does singing or talking to her help? Like start the song before you leave, continue as you walk away until you come back? Maybe practice quick moments to leave. Like sing a song, duck out of the room singing and come RIGHT back?
I'll try that! I do talk and sing to her when I'm in the other room, but haven't tried starting to sing before walking away.
Finally found a use for my maternity pillow...
I think she likes it
Does anyone have any good books, sites, resources, etc. for ideas on setting boundaries and discouraging demanding and well.."bratty" behavior from an infant or very young toddler?
Googling is only bringing me to forums and things. Lillian is being really demanding, screaming whenever we take something from her, move her from a dangerous situation, restrain her for diaper changing, and for attention. I've gathered that at this age (8 months), its advisable to a) walk away from her when she's doing this or b) put her safely in her crib or play pen to let her "cry it out". But I'd really like to find some stuff on this part of her behavioral development from reliable sources
At that age is all about distract and redirect. Not always easy at all, but yes, help them learn to work through it
(honestly its a lot like working on it with dogs, impulse control and doing heavy rewarding for what you do want )
Nope. there is that rare parent who likes to say they put their foot down from infancy (and the reason why their kid craps kittens) I have found that 99.9% of kids go through that phase and you just have to wait it out. Blake is going through a screaming at the top of his lungs phase with rage whenever anyone tries to talk to him, take something from him or remove him from a situation. He is a little younger than a year and a half and omg it is driving me crazy. Before this stage he would scream and cry in deep sadness at the thought of being put down or mommy walking away.
We wouldn't even talk about Briggs. He is just a possessive jerk.
Really all you can do is hug and kiss 'em, try and set them up for success with entertainment/food/whatever magic trick you can pull out of your sleeve, then when you can't put them somewhere safe while you finish whatever you have to do. Or at least that is all I have gathered. I am pretty passive as a parent though. I have had to adapt a few things as Briggs went down for naps way easier and still co sleeps. Blake won't nap or sleep at all unless in his crib. Separation anxiety and not being able to express themselves with words really does make t hem more explosive. Briggs still can't communicate his thoughts (stuck on labeling only still at 3) and he just makes this awful whine sound that makes me envy the deaf.
Wow MM, Lillian is so big! And she's adorable, it's been way too long since you posted pics.
We've been running into similar behavior with Falon but on a lesser scale. She gets super clingy when she's teething and does the separation anxiety screaming. I've found that if I talk to her and tell her what I'm doing - "Hey, I'm going to set you down with this toy and now I'm walking into the kitchen but seriously I'm like 2 seconds away please don't scream it's going to be fine" and yes I run it on like that lol - she does a lot better. Like GreenMagick said though, I pretty much treat it the same way I do dog training. Don't reward behavior you don't like.
HOWEVER. Falon is pretty easy to redirect and does not scream until she makes herself sick - and there's a difference between her demand crying and her something-is-very-wrong crying. If I had the scream yourself sick model I would maybe let her cry for 30 seconds to a minute and then I would go get her and redirect to something else.
^This explains it very well IMO
Living in the moment, trust me I know, it can get really overwhelming. BUT, it is a stage and they move through it. Its up to us to gently help them learn to navigate their emotions and channel their reactions. To them, even though its silly to us, its very real and they really are feeling that. I tried really hard to make sure they knew that I understood that they were upset, what they wanted, etc before I then explained why not, why it was not safe, etc. They are able to start understanding us for sure as long as we keep it pretty short and sweet. Most of the frustration usually comes from them not being able to communicate back so giving them words can help.
Yes! I also still live in that every day. Briggs verbal understanding is still quite delayed for his age so I have been going through that with him since he was about her age (he is now 3) and Blake at 16 months is doing it too. If you find anything that works let me know because all I have figured out is that head phones are a sanity saver.