Bombshell... Cold feet....

Discussion in 'Dogs - General Dog Chat' started by Dizzy, Aug 17, 2012.

  1. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

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    Not mine. My boyfriend dropped a bombshell last night of basically telling me he wasn't sure about getting another dog.

    We've planned this over a year, and it was HIS choice to get a puppy, go to breeder etc (i wanted to rescue). We've talked every step of the way, I've constantly checked along the way that this wasn't just MY plan, told him every worst case scenario (and he agrees with all this, I've not hidden anything at all)...


    He's been reading horror stories about crazy gsps and speaking with a gundog man and basically has major coldfeet now.... 4 weeks before D day. He's worried about what happens when I'm at work, and getting a dog sitter if we go out/away and mess and la la la...

    As you can imagine I am pretty annoyed because he knew all the answers to these things (again, planning for over a year!!!), and upset because I feel like he's led me up the garden path.

    He said he'd get it because he knows how much it means to me and he wants me to be happy, but I'm annoyed because it was OUR plan, not mine, and I love him and want him to be happy too, not miserable with a puppy making a mess!!

    Just tainted everything... I've suggested him coming to meet the breeder so he can meet the dogs and see them interacting in the home to reassure him a bit. He doesn't get that these are show line dogs, not working line... That's WHY I went with the breeder. Or that bodhi needs just as much work and exercise (she's a go go dog).

    Anyway..... This is more a venting rant than anything... No one else would get it :(

    I love him so much, but he's a big fat wally, and he knows dogs were part of my package (he doesn't deny this).

    Sure we'll sort it, but I feel like I can't talk to him today!!! There has been tears!

    /end rant.
     
  2. ihartgonzo

    ihartgonzo and Fozzie B!

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    Oh my gosh Dizzy!!! Tell him to grow a pair. :rolleyes: Lol

    It's kind of sweet that he's taking it so seriously, but it's not fair to just chicken out weeks before you get the puppy that you've been planning for. There are horror stories about every breed of dog, I promise you that. And you know what's behind 99% of those stories? Inexperienced, unprepared owners. You're so far from that!!! And you're going to a good breeder, with sane dogs who are pets. I've heard of some hunting GSPs being high strung, but they're also kenneled their whole life, trained using harsh methods and encouraged to be over the top energetic.

    I'm super picky about dog breeds. But GSPs are honestly one of the most special, wonderful, soulful breeds of dog. I've handled thousands of dogs and out of the few who I really bonded with and would take home 3 were GSP boys. The girls are much more energetic and high strung IME! The boys are energetic, but not more than a Lab, when they're puppies but so adorable, sweet and silly while asst the same time incredibly intelligent. I find them much more easy than the majority of herding breeds and their energy and smarts are perfectly suited to someone with experience and a sense of humor such as yourself! My friend has the sweetest boy named Bosco, who is gorgeous, charming and an obedience champion. I wish your dude could meet him! He's an active dog but at the same time so cool, polite and gentlemanly.
     
  3. Xandra

    Xandra Active Member

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    That is pretty irritating alright. Definitely take him out there and show him how your future puppy's parents behave. MAKE him enthusiastic again lol.

    The last thing anybody needs when something is supposed to be a mutual choice is for them to back out and then start the whole "Well we did this for you, so..." Nu nu nu no. Even if you would've gotten a pup by yourself, to have support and assurance and a sense of mutual input for a year and then to have that suddenly fall away, well, its disheartening.

    A new puppy is a big commitment, but HOPEFULLY once he meets the pups (especially if you have one picked out!!), he meets the parents, and he has some assurance that though it's a lot of responsibility, it's also a lot of fun, a very memorable way of opening a new chapter in your life, and it's really not unmanageable, he'll come round again.
     
  4. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

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    He's not doing it on purpose, and he thought about not saying anything, which would have been a disaster. We just want to make each other happy, but I feel like I'll feel bad whatever the outcome now :(

    He genuinely wanted this dog, I think he's just had a moment of realisation that it is happening. He loves dogs and says he'll love it, but he's worried about the impact.

    He's had a year to consider this. He feels very guilty. Rightly so!! I want him to be happy with our choice, he wants me to be happy... It's nice really, just want to kill his dumb ass!!!
     
  5. ihartgonzo

    ihartgonzo and Fozzie B!

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    Everyone has puppy regrets!!!!!!! I cannot even fathom how many times I cried and wanted to give Fozzie back... now he's the best dog ever, and I wish he was a puppy again. :p that's just human nature, we're dumb and fickle.
     
  6. Jenne

    Jenne Ball Thrower

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    It sucks that he is unsure and it is unfair, but would it be a major hassle to wait a little longer until he is sure? A puppy is a major commitment and all members of the household should be 100% on board before bringing him/her home.
     
  7. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

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    I agree, I won't add a dog at the expense of our relationship... He knows that. I love dogs, but I'd be very unhappy without him, he is great.

    He also knows we would have waited, we've questioned every part of the process to make sure it was right. He's seen me getting excited and more committed to this decision every day. He's never had a puppy before and doesn't know what to expect, which is fine. And he works from home so feels panicky that he'll have a screaming puppy to deal with!

    I'm feeling better than I did this morning. I suspect the puppy will come home, and he'll love it, but we'll see how he feels after meeting the breeders dogs. I won't force it on him, but I've made it very clear I see dogs in my life!! So does he, but not sure how he expects to add them!!!!!

    Imagine what it'll be like if we ever have KIDS........ Gulp.
     
  8. Jenne

    Jenne Ball Thrower

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    It's good that you're willing to compromise. In the long run, it'll make the commitment to your relationship and his relationship with your future puppy better. Kids are another ball game, and I'm not even visiting that park.
     
  9. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

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    We're solid, I know how he feels. He'd get the dog even if he hated it because he wants me to be happy. I want him to be happy too, so we'll see. He knows this is a pet/hobby/dream/passion for me and not just a dog. He gets it.

    Was a massive shock though, telling me over tea! Or dinner to you.

    I couldn't look at him all night, managed a hug this morning because I refuse to ever leave on bad terms. Not worth it!
     
  10. Emily

    Emily Rollin' with my bitches

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    Well, if it helps at all, you can tell him that I see a decent number of GSPs at work. They are high energy, yes, and they can tend towards SA, true, but I would say most of ours that live with average families are very happy and their families are happy too. :) And several of ours are from hunting stock. And you guys aren't average! I've seen the hikes you go on and all the stuff you do with Bohdi... You'll have a blast! That's exactly the kind of home a GSP needs. I realize there are probably more concerns than just the breed itself, but as far as "crazy" GSPs, they do exist, but I think an active home with good dog knowledge goes a LONG in making them stable, productive citizens. I have no doubt yours would be a great fit for you.
     
  11. Laurelin

    Laurelin I'm All Ears

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    I think everyone gets cold feet. I remember panicking quite a few times bringing Mia home and immediately after and thinking 'what have I done!?' Especially after she screamed and threw up for the first 6 hours on the way home.

    Every now and then I sit and think about my next dog and how much of a change that will be since my two are so perfect and easy together and I panic again.

    I wouldn't blame him and I don't think that means he's 'not ready'. I think it's normal. As long as he's committed to working through it it will be fine.
     
  12. ~Jessie~

    ~Jessie~ Chihuahua Power!

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    I also think that everyone gets cold feet. Before going to pick up Emma, I still went back and forth on whether or not I wanted to go through with it! AND, that was my 5th time getting a puppy, so I had plenty of experience with raising them! Each dog is a big committment- financially, emotionally, and they take a lot of time! After having Emma for a few days I knew I made the right decision, and wondered why I even hesitated.

    Has he ever had a puppy before? I can understand how scary it would be to "start from scratch," especially if he's heard GSPs are crazy (I've never met a crazy one, by the way!).

    Hopefully once he meets the breeder and parents (and sees how absolutely adorable the puppers are!) he'll change his mind and get excited again.

    Good luck! I hope that you'll both be back on the same "YAY PUPPY!" page soon, especially since I'm selfish and want to see more pictures of adorable GSP puppies!
     
  13. Moth

    Moth Mild and Slightly Nutty

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    Aww...silly guy!

    I totally get this though. My other half never had a puppy before we got Watson. He was used to his families beagle mix :)

    Watson was quite a surprise to him...but he loves him even when Watson has one of his more nutty days.

    I am sure when he sees the dogs and pups at the breeder's it will help. There is also no not falling in love with a little jellybean puppy once you get the little guy home. The puppy will work his own magic on your boyfriend I am sure :D

    Boys are just silly sometimes!
     
  14. SarahHound

    SarahHound New Member

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    Try not to be too upset. Everyone has doubts sometimes, its completely normal. He probably just needs to get his worries out of his system, and once it comes to puppy time, he will be OK, I'm sure. Just like Dads, babies and pregnancies. Most Dads to be will have some sort of little freak about having a baby, but once the baby comes along, they wonder what they were panicking about!
     
  15. joce

    joce Active Member

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    Every dog I have ever brought home-even fosters-I have thought OMG why! as I am cleaning up poop and dealing with issues. But a couple of days,sometimes maybe even months :eek: into it things calm down and you have your routine settled down and you don't think that anymore.

    It is scary,especially with people saying this is the right way and this is the right way etc.
     
  16. Greenmagick

    Greenmagick New Member

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    I always freak out before adding new dog. Can I do this? Will it work? etc etc.
     
  17. Laurelin

    Laurelin I'm All Ears

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    There's a GSP in one of my classes now and I LOVE him. He's such a derp and hilarious. I don't think I've ever met a funnier dog. The biggest problem with him is he's obsessed with bugs and crickets especially and so will often just out of nowhere go pounce on a bug (in the middle of agility no-less).
     
  18. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

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    It's his first puppy. He keeps comparing to bodhi and saying she's ok, we're settled, why change things. Totally valid points, but he never had or met bodhi when she was a puppy so he has no idea lol!

    You're all right, I don't for one second think he's horrid for being wary or questioning it, but his timing SUCKS. And I've told EVERYONE....!!! In the whole world!!

    I might read him some of these responses.
     
  19. Tahla9999

    Tahla9999 Active Member

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    I think it is pretty normal to be nervous when you have a big life change, and adding new pets is a big life change, especially a puppy. The great thing is, as time goes by, you will adjust to two dog and it would feel like you have always had two.
     
  20. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

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    Puppy is coming home :)

    Panic over.

    For now :D I am pretty sure there will be more stress to come............
     

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