Animal Jokes

Discussion in 'Dog Jokes and Cartoons' started by scob89, Jan 2, 2005.

  1. scob89

    scob89 DILLIGAF?

    Nov 20, 2004
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    These are some of my favorite ones.

    If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
    Why wouldn't the butterfly go to the dance?
    It was a moth ball

    What disease can you get from kissing birds?
    Chirpes (It's a canareal disease, but it's tweetable)

    Two cows are in a field.
    First Cow: "Do you worry about getting Mad Cow Disease?"
    Second Cow: "Nah, I'm a penguin."

    What's the difference between a Northern zoo and a Southern zoo?
    In a Northern zoo you have the name of the animal and the Latin name underneath. In a Southern zoo you haven the name of the animal and a recipe underneath.

    A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town. He sees a farmer and his hound dog sitting sitting out on the front porch of a rusted old shack, and he figures he'll have a little fun.
    Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?"
    Farmer: "Dogs caint talk!"
    Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
    Dog: "Great, thanks for asking."
    (Farmer stares in stupefied amazement )
    Cowboy: "How does your owner treat you?"
    Dog: "Really well. He walks me twice a day, feeds me Alpo, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
    Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
    Farmer: "Horses caint talk!"
    Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
    Horse: "Cool."
    (Farmer falls off his chair)
    Cowboy: "How's your owner treat you?"
    Horse: "Pretty good. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
    Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
    The farmer stands up and says,
    "Them sheep ain't nothing but a bunch of liars!"

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