These are some of my favorite ones. If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside? K9P Why wouldn't the butterfly go to the dance? It was a moth ball What disease can you get from kissing birds? Chirpes (It's a canareal disease, but it's tweetable) Two cows are in a field. First Cow: "Do you worry about getting Mad Cow Disease?" Second Cow: "Nah, I'm a penguin." What's the difference between a Northern zoo and a Southern zoo? In a Northern zoo you have the name of the animal and the Latin name underneath. In a Southern zoo you haven the name of the animal and a recipe underneath. A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town. He sees a farmer and his hound dog sitting sitting out on the front porch of a rusted old shack, and he figures he'll have a little fun. Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?" Farmer: "Dogs caint talk!" Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?" Dog: "Great, thanks for asking." (Farmer stares in stupefied amazement ) Cowboy: "How does your owner treat you?" Dog: "Really well. He walks me twice a day, feeds me Alpo, and takes me to the lake once a week to play." Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?" Farmer: "Horses caint talk!" Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?" Horse: "Cool." (Farmer falls off his chair) Cowboy: "How's your owner treat you?" Horse: "Pretty good. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements." Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?" The farmer stands up and says, "Them sheep ain't nothing but a bunch of liars!"