Am I wrong for being this annoyed?

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by Sweet72947, Feb 6, 2012.

  1. Sweet72947

    Sweet72947 Squishy face

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    about 80% of the time living with my roommates is just fine. The other 20% I just want to forcibly evict one roommate's friends from the premises. Don't get me wrong, I like most of their friends and don't mind when they come over. What frustrates me is when one roomie has friends over and I want quiet either just because I need to settle before bed, or I want to sleep, and they are outside my room doing loud things. For example, right now a friend we'll call Y and my roomie are watching something loud on Y's computer while also blaring the TV and probably not paying attention to it. My room is a den that is right off the living room, so I can hear everything that goes on in there even with my door shut. Asking them to turn the TV down is not a problem, but if if I ask them to talk quieter or anything else, my roomie tells me to sleep in her room. I don't WANT to sleep in her room. Her bed is uncomfortable and I hate dragging my equipment (CPAP machine, etc) into another room. My roomie works the night shift so she feels like she doesn't get to see anyone so if I ask her to not have friends over late (like after 10 or 11, me and my other roomie tried asking that once) she will just get upset about it and it could potentially cause a fight which will solve NOTHING.

    I have to get up at 6 AM because I am back working part time at the rescue shelter because I seem to suck at doing anything else or something and I want to be settling down and getting ready for bed (I intend to attempt sleep at 10) but I CAN'T because all I hear is their $^%*^ NOISE. And its not just a minor "annoyance", if I'm around people too much and/or too much noise, it exacerbates my anxiety issues and stresses me the crap out. I try to be as quiet as I can for my roomie who sleeps during the day (occasional smoke alarms going off when we cook because they are stupidly sensitive notwithstanding), and I don't understand why she can't extend to me the same courtesy.

    I wish I could walk out my door and say "Y, GO HOME." but I can't. I do like living with people, I just like QUIET. I can't fall asleep when there's noise like other people can. I have airport earmuffs that I wear to bed to block out traffic noise, but they don't block out noise well when its RIGHT THERE on the other side of my door. What I need is to eventually live with one other person who is equally as low-key as me, and who doesn't need a lot of other people around. I think that would be nice. I just wish I knew how to deal with this frustration. Mostly I just endure, since the loud times are usually only when my roomie has nights off. It would be nice, though, to one day live somewhere I don't have to go through this frustration on an almost weekly basis.
     
  2. Xandra

    Xandra Active Member

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    Pissed me off just reading your post lol but your roomie needs to enjoy herself too.

    The most apparent solution from where I'm standing is to talk to her about swapping rooms permanently (move your bed in there and everything). But perhaps that isn't possible.

    Either way, sorry its' going on, and I sure hope you find a good fair fix!
     
  3. Sweet72947

    Sweet72947 Squishy face

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    Yeah she wouldn't switch rooms, she has the master bedroom because when we orginally moved in her now fiance was with us and they took that room. He's coming back sometime in April, or it could be May or June, depending on the government.
     
  4. Paige

    Paige Let it be

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    I'd tell her to take the entertainment to her room if it's going to go over a certain time because that is not fair. You both have to share the house so you should reach a middle ground.
     
  5. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    I totally understand.. and ya, it would bother me as well. I get why that would be a tricky situation, I certainly understand her wanting to have friends over. but come on..it's Monday night, you have work at 6 am. Can't they go to a restaurant? If it was the weekend or something..fine. but during the week, with work/school I think quiet hours are more than reasonable. We even have them in the DORMS!

    First of all, I suggest these earplugs. We have a parrot at home that insists on screeching at 6 in the morning and these really help (and I have tried A LOT of earplugs) these are by far the best and most comfortable (some really annoy my ears and I can't stand sleeping with them in) I also wear them on plane rides sometimes
    http://www.amazon.com/Hearos-Ultimate-Softness-20-Pair-Foam/dp/B001EPQ3H4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1328582472&sr=8-1
    Wax earplugs are also quite effective.
     
  6. Sweet72947

    Sweet72947 Squishy face

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    Thanks Fran, I might try them. The only problem though, with doing things to my ears to block out the sound is that I don't hear my alarm in the morning and I oversleep! Since I sleep with airport earmuffs all the time, I actually borrowed my roomie's alarm clock so that I could set two alarms (the clock and my phone) so that I can be sure I'll get up, since my unconscious mind likes to turn off my phone alarm in my sleep. :eek: It only seems to do that if I have to get up before 7am though. Weird.

    I did get them to turn the TV off, so that helps. I did ask that they please turn down the laptop but they didn't. Oh well, I will try to deal with it.
     
  7. Snark

    Snark Mutts to you

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    I'd be annoyed, too - would your roommate get pissed if you pointed out you give her the courtesy of being quiet when she needs to sleep and you would appreciate the return courtesy? You're not saying she can't have friends over, just to be a little more mindful of other people.

    Barring that, if you try Fran's recommended ear plugs, what about getting one of those vibrating clocks for the deaf to go with it?
     
  8. Gypsydals

    Gypsydals New Member

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    This. Being late at night and knowing you have to get up early. If shes got the Masterbed room she has room to take it upstairs. One of these days ask her if she would like it while during the day you had a bunch of friends over right outside her room being loud.
     
  9. Paige

    Paige Let it be

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    I think it's incredibly rude not to respect people's sleep. I lived with a bunch of rowdy party boys WITH an infant and even they, drunk out of their minds, would keep it down.
     
  10. Red.Apricot

    Red.Apricot Active Member

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    Have you tried actually saying, "Hey, it sounds like you're all having a great time, but I'm trying to get some sleep. Would you mind talking quieter? Thanks," with a smile, and then going back to bed?

    With roommates, you can't expect people to anticipate your needs, even if it seems super obvious from your point of view. It seems unlikely to me that they're intentionally keeping you awake, and they'd probably rather not be a jerk, y'know?
     
  11. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

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    Iunno, I mean, to an extent, it's something you expect to live with when you decide to live with roommates. I understand her point of view, I mean, I work later rather than the day shift, so if I'm going to be doing anything really, it's going to be at night. I keep it down, but I also live rent free at my parents. I'm assuming that these issues with sleeping with noise didn't just turn up overnight, and you knew your room would be right by the main living area, so it should have been thought of/discussed before deciding to live there. Especially if moving up to her room would mean being right by the other roommate who would also be trying to sleep, and not expecting the noise since she is not right by the main living area.

    Other than asking her nicely to turn it down, all you can really do is try the earplugs Fran showed.
     
  12. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    You might try a white noise machine, too.
     
  13. Sweet72947

    Sweet72947 Squishy face

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    Thanks guys for all the input.

    Yes I did know I was moving into the den right off the living room, however when we moved in everyone worked day hours, my roommate didn't land her night shift job until a couple months in to living here.

    But like I said, most of the time living here is great. If I were a normal person, I could probably handle having people around a lot, but I'm not a normal person. I am a person who actually mentally can't tolerate a lot of people and noise for hours at a time. With my roommates and some of their friends, it doesn't bother me to have them over because they have become part of this place. With others, enough is too much! I went through similar anxiety at Thanksgivings past when I was around my family and tons of people and noise at the mall. My anxiety shot up, and I actually flipped out at my mom for touching me (she was straightening my shirt collar).

    I'm just trying to find ways to be more like normal people and less like me.
     

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