A note to my family (regarding puppy care)

Discussion in 'Dog Jokes and Cartoons' started by Miss Jack, Feb 19, 2008.

  1. Miss Jack

    Miss Jack Jack 27/09/94-06/12/07

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    Dear Family Members.

    As Scooby has now been living with us for nearly 2 months I thought we should consider and review some of our attitudes towards keeping a happy and well balanced puppy. Having a happy and well balanced puppy in our house is very important to your own well being as I myself am only happy and well balanced if Scooby is. Trust me you don’t want Scooby or ME unhappy and UNBALANCED.
    With this in mind I have compiled some points for your attention

    Husband:

    Scooby is given exactly the right amount of food per day (split into 3 meals) for his breed, age and weight. Scooby has been weighed the food has been weighed trust me it‘s the correct amount. I know it doesn’t look like a lot especially to a man who can eat a 3 course meal and then hover up the kids left overs. But IT IS ENOUGH please stop giving him extra ‘just in case he his still hungry’

    Before you come to bed Scooby needs to go outside for a wee. I don’t care if he won’t get out of his bed PICK HIM UP AND PUT HIM OUTSIDE. Once he is outside please wait with him until you have SEEN him wee. Failure to do this will result in either you getting up at 3am to let him out or you cleaning puddles up in the morning

    Daughter:

    Scooby has 14 Toys, 2 collars, 3 harnesses, and 4 leads he is 4 months old THAT’S ENOUGH no more shopping. He will never ever ever need that pink coat you think is OHHHH SO CUTE. When he needs a coat you may buy him a boys coat out of your money. As you are 10 years old you’d better start saving now.

    Please remember Scooby doesn’t care that the scarf he is dragging around the garden is your favourite chenille scarf. If you leave anything within his reach he will claim it as his own. You cannot exclaim “But Jack never nicked my stuff†Lets remember Jack was old, blind, deaf and had arthritis.

    If you choose to go to the park in February wearing you best trousers please don’t look shocked when they are covered in little muddy paw prints.

    When you exercise your beloved hamster please be aware Scooby doesn’t see as you do a cute little sentient being in its exercise machine Scooby sees a BALL BALL BALL!

    Son:

    Before you teach Scooby any more tricks you will unteach him the wall of death. Running around my front room without touching the floor (Both of you!) is not ‘clever’ or ‘cool’ or ‘funny’ (well OK it might be a bit funny)

    You will stop giving Scooby your sisters soft toys. I know you are giving them to him. Scooby clever as he is cannot yet climb bunk bed steps. Yes he looks very pleased with himself trotting down the stairs with a new toy. But you won’t look very pleased with a black eye although Scooby will be happy with your brand new leather case football.

    Unless you want to be the very 1st 8 year old to be castrated by a Miniature Schnauzer please stop trying to do the splits in front of his face. As with number 1 it’s not a good trick.

    You and Scooby are not going to join a circus! In fact all tricks will now be approved by me before you teach Scooby them.

    Cat:

    I have worked long and hard to teach Scooby to leave you alone. Going out of your way to step over his head while he’s sleeping is NOT HELPING. You are 16 years old you really should know better!

    Rabbits:

    I am aware you think the garden belongs to you and that you have no fear of Scooby. I also accept that you need to show Scooby you are both more dominate than him. I would however appreciate it if you could show your dominance without resorting to spraying wee all over him every time he walks past your runs.

    Once I’ve sorted you lot out I will turn my attention on other friends and family :p

    I would like to congratulate the Goldfish who has yet to cause me any problems regarding Scooby

    Thank you for your time. Please be aware failure to comply may result in me and Scooby going on a looooong holiday xx

    Your Loving Wife and Mum
     
  2. bubbatd

    bubbatd Moderator

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    Loved it !!!! LOL!!!
     
  3. jess2416

    jess2416 Who woulda thought

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    ROFLMAO hahahaa Thats hilarious :D
     
  4. noludoru

    noludoru Bored Now.

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    LOL that's hilarious. *click/treat* for goldfish.
     
  5. PoodleMommy

    PoodleMommy Yorkie Love

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    very entertaining.

    Now did you give a copy to each family member?
     
  6. Linds

    Linds Twin 2

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    I actually snorted at that...in fact I'm still giggling. That whole letter was hysterical, I loved it.

    And I think the goldfish deserves a treat!
     
  7. Miss Jack

    Miss Jack Jack 27/09/94-06/12/07

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    :D Thank you. I guess the Goldfish does deserve a treat!

    I have read the rules out to the family I don't think I made much of an impact. Do you think the fact that I was laughing while reading gave them the wrong impression? ;)
     
  8. TheWonderPuppies

    TheWonderPuppies Pres. Of Gutter Club.....

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    LMAO. At least the goldfish behaved. Mine always die...
     
  9. puppydog

    puppydog Tru evil has no pantyline

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    LOL! Cute. My fish tends to give my dog hell. But then again he is a Betta
     
  10. skittledoo

    skittledoo Crazy naked dog lady

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    :hail:

    This was amazing. Pure amazing. :)
     
  11. :rofl1:
    I just earned some weird looks from my coworkers because I was laughing so hard. That was hilarious!
     
  12. xpaeanx

    xpaeanx Active Member

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    :hail: that's awesome!

    :rofl1::rofl1::rofl1: it's also hilarious!
     
  13. SizzleDog

    SizzleDog Lord Cynical

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    Ohhhh that's hilarious!

    Please tell me you've got it tacked to your fridge! :D
     

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