"What's done is done."
- Thread starter Babyblue5290
- Start date
Sometimes "what's done is done" is about damage control. You can't do anything to undo what is done; you can only try to improve upon what you have. Although I will admit that I do find it very frustrating dealing with people who perpetually make mistakes without learning from them. In that case, I don't find "what's done is done" applicable at all.
I agree with that too Baha, and people that make THE SAME mistake over and over obviously likes the out come of the previous times and therefore probably won't change anyway. So trying to 'pound' your point of view home with them is just a waste of cyber space.
I really do believe that the ones we are kind to and help out and get them to stick around WILL learn things here. It doesn't even HAVE to be things posted TO them........just by reading other's posts and responses they will pick up info and hopefully check into it further. BUT they have to be here in order to see it
I can speak for me in saying that I have learned PLENTY without asking questions........I see other questions/responses and it makes me hungry to do more searching on my own.
I really do believe that the ones we are kind to and help out and get them to stick around WILL learn things here. It doesn't even HAVE to be things posted TO them........just by reading other's posts and responses they will pick up info and hopefully check into it further. BUT they have to be here in order to see it
I can speak for me in saying that I have learned PLENTY without asking questions........I see other questions/responses and it makes me hungry to do more searching on my own.
I think it depends on the exact situation. If the problem they are asking about comes from the puppy's origins, then we need to explain why the problem exists. Not berate the puppy's owner, just explain the problem.
If the problem has another orgin, then what's done is done. I'd rather they hang around the forums and learn from other people's posts on the matter, than be alienated by a lecture, and never get the answer to their question and thus another puppy shows up in the shelter.
I also think that telling people they've made a big mistake risks convincing them that their puppy is beyond help/too much work etc. Again, another dog in a shelter.
The truth, that none of us like to admit, is that we have all met dogs from such origins who are fine. Some are even great dogs. This is not to support pet stores/puppy mills/BYBs at all . . . its just to observe that there's a good chance the the situation can be salvaged . . . and we want to give the new owner all the encouragement we can to salvage it and to make the situation work, rather than ditching the pup, who is, after all, completely innocent, regardless of his/her origins.
So, unless its relevant, what's done is done, lets solve the problems our new Chazzer has (to the best we can) and has they join our community, they will come to learn that they did make a mistake. But hitting someone over the head with it is unlikely to help owner or dog. After all, they now HAVE the dog . . . and we don't want them to NOT have it, to give up on it, regardless of where it came from.
If the problem has another orgin, then what's done is done. I'd rather they hang around the forums and learn from other people's posts on the matter, than be alienated by a lecture, and never get the answer to their question and thus another puppy shows up in the shelter.
I also think that telling people they've made a big mistake risks convincing them that their puppy is beyond help/too much work etc. Again, another dog in a shelter.
The truth, that none of us like to admit, is that we have all met dogs from such origins who are fine. Some are even great dogs. This is not to support pet stores/puppy mills/BYBs at all . . . its just to observe that there's a good chance the the situation can be salvaged . . . and we want to give the new owner all the encouragement we can to salvage it and to make the situation work, rather than ditching the pup, who is, after all, completely innocent, regardless of his/her origins.
So, unless its relevant, what's done is done, lets solve the problems our new Chazzer has (to the best we can) and has they join our community, they will come to learn that they did make a mistake. But hitting someone over the head with it is unlikely to help owner or dog. After all, they now HAVE the dog . . . and we don't want them to NOT have it, to give up on it, regardless of where it came from.
My question is....
What do you hope to accomplish by publicly berating them?
Do you think THAT will make them wise up?
From my experience... people who are put on the defensive are MORE likely to go out and do EXACTLY what we are berating them for just to prove you wrong....
And whether we like the persons tactics or not... we certainly are not doing the dog any favors by withholding any advice. if you are certain that dog will end up in a shelter you should WANT to give all the advice you can in hopes that dog may still be adoptable when it gets there. You don't have to like the person or their actions... but attacking does absolutely nothing and I think that has proven itself on this board over and over again. In all reality.... we should do what is in the best interest of the dog... and that is giving advice on how to hlep the dog grow up to be at it's best ... that way if it ends up in a shelter hopefully it will be adoptable because we gave them the tools to help the dog.
So when someone gets a dog from a BYB or say a 3 week old puppy.... we berate them... what exactly are we hoping to accomplish here? Would you want them to take the dog back to a breeder who doesn't want it?
Advice FIRST.... personal feelings later. personal feelings do not help the dog that is already there. give them advice on how to HELP the dog... then you can air your grievences
What do you hope to accomplish by publicly berating them?
Do you think THAT will make them wise up?
From my experience... people who are put on the defensive are MORE likely to go out and do EXACTLY what we are berating them for just to prove you wrong....
And whether we like the persons tactics or not... we certainly are not doing the dog any favors by withholding any advice. if you are certain that dog will end up in a shelter you should WANT to give all the advice you can in hopes that dog may still be adoptable when it gets there. You don't have to like the person or their actions... but attacking does absolutely nothing and I think that has proven itself on this board over and over again. In all reality.... we should do what is in the best interest of the dog... and that is giving advice on how to hlep the dog grow up to be at it's best ... that way if it ends up in a shelter hopefully it will be adoptable because we gave them the tools to help the dog.
So when someone gets a dog from a BYB or say a 3 week old puppy.... we berate them... what exactly are we hoping to accomplish here? Would you want them to take the dog back to a breeder who doesn't want it?
Advice FIRST.... personal feelings later. personal feelings do not help the dog that is already there. give them advice on how to HELP the dog... then you can air your grievences
