I find it difficult to believe that a dog would learn what is right and wrong just from Positive reinforcement and I have had numerous dogs in the past who have all been brought up the same way and have turned out to be well balanced and well behaved friends.
Some dogs are more sensative than others. My Doberman is a prime example....not only very sensative, but very watchful of me and my moods and extremely affected by my moods. Some dogs are more affected than others by sterness. I've had tougher dogs in the past too. They all vary. So, you need to adjust to suit your individual dog. When you use positive methods, you don't run the risk of shutting a dog down, as you describe your dog. Sometimes it's not only our tone of voice or volume, but certain body language that can cause anxiety in a dog. Leaning and bending toward and over a dog can be very intimidating, staring at a dog....until he is conditioned to some of those things can be perceived as a threat. Some dogs adapt better than others or sooner than others to our primate ways. It's something you need to get a feel for.
Dogs, as Redyre said do not think (so far as what science has told us) in terms of right and wrong, the way we realize morals. They're amoral. They do not have the same value system as we do so they do not have the ability to know that they've done "wrong." That is why they're confused and afraid if their owner "attacks" them. (not saying you're abusing your dog, just the resmeblance to the dog's view)
Some human signals, dogs do understand and experiements have been done on this...studies. It is interesting that domestic dogs right away, as pups understand humans pointing at something and know we are connected to food, that humans=food for them. LOL. They'll look at a human, then at the kitchen counter where the food is, back to the human again. Wolf pups, even if raised in a home from a very early age do not make the connections there. However, dogs don't recognize everything we do. They do not understand a great deal of what we do and how we, as
primates act. They don't come knowing how to act in a human household. They need to be shown.
Dogs are animals so their values stem from wild things, like survival instincts. Since they're opportunisits, hunters, predators and scavengers, they are hard wired to do what works to survive. These survival instincts are transferred to their behavior. All mammals, including humans do what works too. It's in them through and through.
It is a myth that dogs do things to please their owner. They do if it behooves them and they're very bonded with humans but it is because they found a niche with humans about 15,000 years ago, and that niche helped them survive as they evolved into a domestic animal. So, they're wired to work with humans but
still need to be
taught. (taught/educated is the key word here) But something still needs to be in it for them to get a well trained dog. Force and intimidation, punishment only causes your dog to comply because he wants to avoid the "bad thing." This is not the way to have a dog trust his owner and trust is essential to get the best bond and the best trained animal. There are many very detrimental side effects to aversives. And there are many great benefits to using "positive" training methods, which you can find out about if you read some books by some of the best applied behaviorists in the world.
It is behavioral
LAW, like gravity is a law of physics that behavior is vastly more likely to be repeated when there is a pay off and vastly less likely to be repeated when there is no pay off. If you want a behavior to be repeated, reward that behavior with something the dog loves. If you do not want a behavior, intercept it when you can, distract, give an alternative behavior for which the dog
can be rewareded for. He will choose the behaviors which give him the payoff or reinforcement.
All living organisms want the good things to happen and want to avoid the bad things. They go toward the good thing. In dog training you do not have to make bad things happen in order for the dog to go toward the good thing. He will choose what behavior works to give him the good thing. If undesireable behavior works, he'll engage in it. So it is up to you to make that undesireable behavior not work. It doesn't have to be an aversive punishment. It only has to not work to give good things. An alternative behavior (one you want) needs to be shown so he will choose
that instead. Make sure it brings good things.
You may have a hard time believing that positive reinforcement works, but that may be because you haven't taken the time to educate yourself on the matter. It most certainly does work and is used throughout the world in many, many venues of animal training.
To sum it up: All mammals, including dogs learn from reinforcement. They repeat behaviors which are reinforcing, which pay off. And behaviors which are not rewarding to a dog will extinguish. It's up to us to prevent and find out what the motivator is which is making a dog give unwanted responses and remove that.
Most PhDs in behavior, most professional dog trainers with any education in the science of behavior and where it applies to dogs train using "positive method" methods based on operant and classical conditioning. I train this way and my dogs are wonderful. I don't have to intimidate them in any way for good behavior.
Do you read anything? I recommend you read the book, (for starters) Culture Clash by Jean Donaldson. You need to learn how dogs learn.
That was a long post, but I wanted to share a little bit of a feeling for dogs as dogs. I think we are so incredibly bonded with domestic dog that we sort of forget that they're not really like us, that they don't understand what is important to us, so therefore, how can they know "right" from "wrong" the way we do. How can they be stubborn (a common excuse for under training)? Stubborn is a human trait with quite a complex thought process going on...more complex than what is thought of dog brains according to what scientists have come up with from intense studies, experiements, observations.
So, when you say the things you do in your post, you know now that you run the risk of a long winded post from me. LOL!