UGHHH!!!
Then don't get a dog that is too big for the house... but, IMO, that's an excuse - I live in a 650 square foot apartment with TWO Dobermans, BIG dogs... and we're fine... we're more than fine.
Then get a crate and spend a little time and effort to housetrain them.
Exercise them and get a crate. Go to some training classes.
Give them a bath and feed them better food. Brush them from time to time.
I'm sorry, but I cannot abide the excuses that people make for keeping their pets outside. Outside dogs are more suceptible to injury, poisoning, weather, being attacked by other animals, parasites, theft... the list goes on and on. I wouldn't dream of letting my dogs be outside full-time... they're my pets, and I'm their pack leader - they crave to be in my presence. They are vauable, financially and More Importantly, emotionally.
Working dogs are usually another story - dogs used for sledding seem to be happier outside with their team, many herding dogs prefer to be with their stock, and many hounds like to be nestled in with their pack. But pets? Why do pets need to be outside? They stink? They pee? They shed? There are better solutions to these issues than shoving them out the door... Besides, most outdoor dogs develop a bad smell as a result of being outside - many shed more because they need to constantly be building coat to keep warm on those cold, lonely nights.
If your outdoor dog starts to bloat, how would you know? If your outdoor dog is poisoned, how would you know? If your outdoor dog is choking on its chain, how would you know? Dogs can die of these things in less than an hour, less than ten minutes - what happens then? You come out when you feel like it, and your dog is dead... maybe if they'd been at your side, on their bed by the computer while you were typing, you could have done something and saved your dog.