Petting Without Asking

I was at the petstore today getting food and I had Didgie with me. She was sitting next to me and I was reading ingredients not really paying attention. Felt the leash pull and look behind me and an employee is practically on her knees all up in Didgie's face.

Now, Didgie likes people just fine so it wasn't a big deal but it really bothered me, especially since I once again have a dog that is nervous around new people (Fergus). I just don't get how people can think it's ok to start petting or touching someone's dog without asking, especially an employee that should know better.

So it got me thinking how you all handle it if someone does that. Do you ignore it? Use your body to block? Say something? If so, what do you say?

Normally if I see them coming with the grabby hands I'll body block until they ask because seriously, someone apparently needs to teach all these adults how to act. With kids I always stop them if they don't ask and remind them to always ask if they can pet a dog, then let them pet Traveler or Didgie but honestly, overall almost all kids I meet ask first, it's their parents that don't.

(Language)
[YOUTUBE]sRGsN3w41F0[/YOUTUBE]

LOL but yeah. I know I am very conscious in my store about saying Hello! Can I say hi to your dog? But I know the other employees in the store can be even worse than customers, since they are employees they are sort of "expected" to say hi and fuss over customers' dogs?

I don't know, people assume since you have the dog out in public, it is friendly, period. I think it is expected that if a dog is not "friendly" it shouldn't be out in public.

I'm a body blocker.

Also, the urge to just run up and pet someone else's dog is so strange to me. I have like pretty much zero desire to interact with strange dogs(I guess you could say I am aloof with strangers). I may say something to the dog like, "hey pup you're a cutie." But to actually touch them? Yeah no thanks.

ummm, I hold my wiggly dog back and hope he doesn't jump on them and get them all muddy

Most annoying experience was in Petco, by Petco's trainer. I had Snitch out and was working on him focusing on me around the store. I had him in a sit watching me and she came up behind him and started talking to him in shrill baby talk patting her chest, he of course went over and was like "OMG HAI" and jumped on her (um patting on your chest is inviting him to jump up) and she honest to god looked at me and told me I need to work on his manners. Um seriously lady.

By and far people are good about asking first though.

The most effective thing I've done is give Roxie a light correction, followed by, "HEY! Did that person ask for your attention? No? Don't be a jerk, Roxie. People need to ASK if they can pet you before you go slobbering all over them. Now go lay down."

And then to the person, "I am so sorry. She forgets her manners sometimes and thinks that anybody that comes near her wants to pet her, so she goes and pushes herself on them! Please forgive me. She's a work in progress."

I mostly do this because Roxie is a slut and WILL push herself on anyone and everyone. Plus... people realize that it is really rude not to ask.

Most people respond with a, "oh, it's okay! I'm so sorry I didn't ask before!" And then we commence with Roxie getting lots of love and me attempting to hold a conversation. In the worst case, Roxie will attempt to go home with that person.

Body block and a firm 'hes shy'. I am at a point with Gimmick where he can earn a jackpot reward for approaching and targeting a strangers hand, so I usually offer that. People are generally so pleased to have something to do that they follow instructions well.

Ok... This had my dying from laughter... Especially "it's not your dog, go get your own fscking dog!"

Charlotte adores attention from people and Ma'ii is fine with them to, so I typically don't care if people walk up and pet my dogs. It's nice to have people ask first, as it shows common sense and respect, but generally I'm fine so long as I'm not in a huge hurry. That would probably change a lot though if I had a dog that was really nervous or wasn't okay with being approached by strange people, in which case, I'd probably body block and politely explain they need to ask first and why.

I am the Queen of body blockers. With my nervous dog (Limit), I don't ever get distracted. I am super hyper aware (but that is left over from having a dog that would bite someone in all seriousness, not because of Limit himself). WE have also started a new routine that I love. When I'm focusing on not-him, he is between my legs. It's wonderful. I know where he is, I know where he's looking, and most people won't reach for him there. It's become a "safe spot" for him and he'll swing backwards into the space if he sees a situation that is concerning (stopped on the side of a hiking trail with people/other dogs approaching).

ETA: people ALWAYS ask with the GSD adults. Eden can be a bit of an attention ***** so I usually have some combination of her trying to reach them and them trying to pet her...

I guess I don't have a problem with scaring people because when it rarely happens I might say "she's not a big fan of people so I'd leave her alone if I were you" but in the past few years that's only happened twice.

If people ask I'll let them give her a treat or hold out their hands for her to sniff, but I don't let them climb all over her or grab her face, or God forbid, hug her. She's just totally disinterested in most people.

Ditto!!

With kids, I stop them and introduce myself and Middie, and explain to them that they are not allowed to pet dogs without asking. I then have them ask permission (or if their parents are are around, to ask us both) and let them pet him all they want. More for him than for them, because I just don't like kids and he's obsessed with them.

With adults, they get treated like the idiots they are. Unless it's old people. I don't yell at old people. Even if they're petting my dog. I listen to ten minute stories about how they had a lab just like him who rescued babies from alligator jaws.

Depends. Children I yell at. I am not above screaming at a child and making them cry if that's what it takes to get them to not run headlong at my dogs screaming and grabbing. Summit could care less but Kili is a little shy of being touched by strangers, especially children.

Though honestly, my new rule is no children because they fail at taking direction. They scream, they move too fast, they grab, they swarm, they chase. All things I explain to them before I give permission to pet. So basically now I won't let kids pet my dogs. Also, I'm not interested in a situation where a kid does something stupid resulting in a justified bite. I think the chance that either of my dogs would bite is extremely minute but why take the risk?

With adults I usually pull Kili away and say "That was really rude! Did I give you permission to go say hi?" Then I make her sit and wait. Usually then the person says "oh sorry, I distracted her. Is it alright if I say hi once she's behaving?"

IME, pet store employees are the very worst at going all grabby-dog without warning or invitation. It's kind of ridiculous. I'm glad you are welcoming but yeesh back off a bit, eh?

When I worked at a pet store I never asked. But I never grabbed either. I would squat down and if the dog approached and asked for attention, great! This is usually while talking with the owner. I'd assume you'd say something at this point if you were offended.

I also don't think I've ever had someone just go for one of my dogs so I don't know how I'd respond.

I usually body block. It's most important for Pip because of his stranger danger, I pretty much don't let anyone approach him when he's on leash, I repel them with my sweet blocking skills, my resting bitch face, and a firm HE'S SHY. At the dog park, he's free to do what he likes as far as approaching adults, but always I body block children and will yell at them if necessary after one unexpectedly hugged him one day and another kept trying to grab a stick from him after repeated polite requests to leave him alone.

The others... it depends. Occasionally Squash is a little uncomfortable with people who approach him really forcefully, but for the most part he and Maisy both adore everyone. I just pay attention and if they seem comfortable with the person approaching I don't really mind that much if someone doesn't explicitly ask. I usually say THEY MIGHT JUMP which they actually might, and that makes some people back off. If they seem uncomfortable at all I'll just say something like "No, thank you!" and turn and walk away if I can, or body block if I can't.

When Merlin is just hanging around/not working, I've given up. I live in a city, we ride public transport, he is cute, he loves attention...screw it. People pet without asking ALL THE TIME
Even with him sitting BETWEEN MY LEGS on public transport, people pet him (literally a few inches from my knees and crotch it's ridiculous). So I added a "go say hi" cue and just let him do his thing. With kids, I encourage them to ask but screw them too I've really given up at this point

When in vest in situations... I body block and say "he's working please don't pet him" as fast as I can.
Yet, people can and DO still pet him, even if he's sitting between my legs...so I simply use treats and get him to move or lie down and glare at the person.

He is wearing a frikin RED VEST that has like 6 patches (in 2 languages) to DO NOT PET and people still do. It's ridiculous. It's a DOG, THEY ARE VERY POPULAR ANIMALS WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED

I don't know if I've ever had someone come up to my dogs and pet them without asking. I've had people kind of sidled up to the dogs without asking, or strike up a conversation with me about the dogs as they approach with the intent of interacting with the dog, but they're so obvious about it that if I was worried about how my dogs would react I'd have plenty of time to say no, don't approach. I think almost all of the kids I meet ask before petting, too, or are too timid to approach.

If I was at all concerned about how my dog would react, I'd likely body block and tell them off in a nice manner. If they persisted, I wouldn't be above telling them off in a not so nice manner. And I have yelled at kids before that were completely inappropriate in their actions.

Luckily, I have a dog that tolerates all sorts of weird handling and behaviors from humans of all shapes and sizes, and another that doesn't like it, but is too polite to do anything about it, so I don't have to be super vigilant. When I had Chloe, who has a tendency to snap without warning, I'd typically engage her in training when someone would approach and that seemed to make them not want to interrupt without asking first. I also suppose I give off a very big "DON'T APPROACH" vibe while walking with Abrams, because when I see someone coming close I put him in a tight heel and 100% focus on him while ignoring the other person's presence. They tend to either ignore me back or say something to us in passing (typically, "What a gorgeous dog! What is he?") to which I respond briefly while still focusing on him.

This. As an employee, I'm normally talking to the owner, asking about the dog, etc. Usually I'll ask if I can say hi or something like that. Most people who have non-stranger friendly dogs will say something during the greeting process.

As an owner of two dogs that are not stranger-friendly, I dislike this part of my job. We are encouraged/required to say hi to every dog that comes in the store and shower them with treats. Most owners are fine with that...but I know that I would be irritated bringing my dog into a store like that. I also don't like being jumped on by overly exuberant dogs that are not in control - if I was allowed to not say hi to those dogs, I would. There are definitely regulars that I really enjoy seeing and will always say hi to, but not every single dog.

I will body block with Missy and Jack if they're approached. Jack doesn't get to say hi to random strangers. With Missy I'll give them a treat and tell them that they can feed it to her, which normally satisfies them.

Heidi thinks that everyone is her best friend. If I catch someone sneak petting her, they do get a lecture on how you should ask before you pet someone's dog, that they're not public property etc.

With the friendlies that want to be pet? I don't give a care. Please pet them, they enjoy it. With my NOT so friendlies (which is Magpie with kids, Jonas just doesn't have any interest in being pet, especially not by women) I don't bring to pet stores or random places where their triggers may be, but I'm hyper aware with them where I am. Shambles, Smalls, Jack, and Elsa are so stinking happy to be pet by any one I'm not going to block someone just because they didn't ask. I definitely always say some variation of "You should check first, sometimes dogs aren't friendly, you know?" and leave it at that, but let the dogs have at it.