None of the dogs I like are a good fit

Does anyone else have this problem? If I were to list out what I'd like in a dog people say to get a Lab or a Golden. But in real life I'm attracted to dogs who don't fit what I want at all. I love pretty much every German Shepherd at daycare, same with the Huskys. They just have so much character and attitude, but not a mean attitude, they just backtalk, which is adorable and hilarious, and they always seem to know that they're being naughty and seem to think it's pretty funny. I've been in love with APBTs for a while, and am starting to really like ACDs (though that's through the internet, I've never met a purebred ACD I don't think) . I also like a lot of the Pugs at work. The only dogs I like in real life that are a good fit on paper are Boxers, but only some Boxers, some are too obnoxious and bully like. It drives me nuts, though I suppose it shouldn't since I'll most likely get a mutt/random shelter dog. But I'm afraid I'll pick the dog I feel a connection with and ignore that he's a terrible fit. But it just seems like I can't connect with the types of dogs I should be interested in. There is not a single Lab or Golden at work I've felt any sort of bond with, it's so strange, we have so many you'd think there'd be ONE.


No real purpose to this thread, it's just something that's been bothering me. Maybe the problem is that I don't really know what I like, I just think I do and real life is telling me otherwise. I never in a million year thought I'd like a GSD or even a husky for that matter.

Honestly, I thought I was the same way but it ended up.. the dogs that I thought I liked, I liked because I didn't live with them and I found them amusing in short bursts or dog sitting. Or because I found them ascetically pleasing lol
I used to get so frustrated because GAH Frenchies are so cute but the health problems and WAHHH why do huskies shed so much and all the exercise and UGHHH
turns out..
- I liked frenchies because they were cute and funny. period.
- I liked huskies because they sasstalked and made funny noises and were pretty
- I liked goldens because of nostalgia
- I liked corgies because their tiny legs made me happy

and none of those are good enough reasons to have one or would last long enough long term to make me not want to pull my hair out after a few weeks.

BUT, silver lining, you will find, more often that not, that the dog that matches with you on paper (even if you aren't immediately attracted to them)... probably will grow to be the right fit in the long haul and whatever you missed in the immediate "OH NOW THATS A COOL DOG" will be made up for in long term contentment lol

Some people have "their breeds" that they were attracted to and it's the perfect fit and happily ever after.
For me..that has not been so. Finding the "right breed" took digging, and took some willpower and took putting away some of that pretty dog envy and finding the right fit for me even without fur and face and cuteness lol

that has been my experience anyway lol

I think there is a difference between what you like, or what you think you like, and what you can live with.

^ This.

I also think you can like a dog in a daycare situation and not want to live with that dog.

I also think a dog can be suited to you perfectly on paper, but you don't feel much of a connection. I'm that way with most spaniels. I'm just not head over heels in love with most spaniel type dogs.

I think you really need to take a look at what you're drawn to and what you think want. Then decide what would make you happier to live with - what you're drawn to, or what you think you want. And then see if there are any traits you can compromise on.

And, a lot of breeds have dog with individual personalities. For example, if you are drawn to a dog that back talks and is sassy and is a trouble maker...look for a pup, regardless of breed, that has that personality. One thing that I LOVED about Chloe is that she has a lot of spunk and attitude. I told the breeder that...and I got Abrams, who loves to back talk and sass and growl and grumble and carry on. And while he doesn't have the bitchy whiles because he's a dumb boy...he certainly isn't a dog with no personality. LOL

Yeah, so many people tell me 'I love gun dogs ..when other people own them.' and I think that's the case with a lot of people. Lots of breeds I LOVE but would never own because they don't fit my lifestyle!

For me there would have to be a combination of things. There's some breeds that I really do like in person but know I don't need to own one- at least any time soon. They just have traits I do NOT want to deal with. I like pits, for example, but no way want to deal with dog aggression at ALL. So I would never get a pit because that trait is one I wouldn't ever want to deal with.

On the other hand there's some other breeds that are a good fit on paper but I just don't like them much in real life- tollers are an example and they get recommended to me a lot. But I just don't have any attraction to the breed and know I'd 100% like a herder better.

Luckily some of the herding breeds do fit pretty well with what I want.

So I guess I'd try to figure out what the deal breakers are for you. I do think connection to a breed plays a role.

I think sometimes we aren't very good at knowing what we like, if that makes sense. Sometimes your gut is as smart as your head, and if you're flexible then the edges get a little fuzzy anyway - Squash turned out to have one of the traits I thought was an absolute deal-breaker for me (busy busy in the house) that actually didn't bother me as much as I thought it would.

As someone whose gotten a dog that was totally wrong on paper for me, I'd say if you are willing to make some compromises and are able to meet the dogs needs, go for it. I always loved lazy, easy, do anything just to please you types. Then I got my cur mix ftom a shelter. The connection was immediate. She was horrid the first 4 months, but I stuck with it. She didn't care what I wanted her to do, unless it was also something she wanted. She was 100% energy from 5am till around 9 at night. There was definitely an adjustment period. I had to figure out how to motivate her to do things I wanted, even when squirrels (which she loved to tree more then anything in the whole world) were running around. Our bond became very very strong because of it. So, I'm going to say if you think its doable, then give it a try. Granted, its safe to say I got really lucky with my cur, but she opened me up to a whole new world of dogs I never thought I'd be interested in.

Sometimes you can find the dog that doesn't fallow the breed. For example everything that fit me so well about Emma was not typical beagle. She was perfect for me but the breed really isn't.

If you can find the right individual in the breed then you can have a bit more flexibility

If I were to get a dog that had all the characteristics I "want".... I probably wouldn't like any of the breeds listed.

On paper, boxers are a horrible match for me. If I were to list out what I ideally want in a dog, pretty sure nobody would ever suggest a boxer. But I freaking adore the breed and will always always always have one.

I'm lazy and don't like exercising, I want a super biddable, almost blindly obedient dog, and I prefer a serious personality over goofy. I have no idea what breeds fit this criteria but I can tell you that none of the breeds I'm interested in do LOL. I am willing to adapt to most things. Probably why the group of dogs I currently have is a random assortment of misfits.

I have this problem sometimes with dogs at work. GSDs, the few nice ones I've come across? Swoon. This crazy little Patterdale that comes in to work. OMG I want. But I really really don't think I could live with one.

This.

What is it about GSDs and/or Huskies that you think make them a bad fit? If it's the hair, then maybe there's not much hope - although you may be able to find a mix that has more manageable hair. But every dog is an individual, and you can find a variety of personalities and traits within every breed.

I have a problem being attracted to breeds with dog and cat aggression. I have cats, and so I need a dog (not a breed, a dog) that will not terrorize my cats. I work too much to feel comfortable with long-term crate/rotate situations, so the dogs should get along. You can make compromises. My Akita would probably like to eat my cats, but he's crated when I'm not home. He's fairly dog tolerant, but he is in a temporary crate/rotate situation with my (rude) foster dog. I love so much about Akitas and have wanted one for as long as I could remember. Not only are they just gorgeous, but I love the theory that they're quiet, dignified, reserved dogs. Mine, sadly, is none of those things. He also doesn't eat my cats, so I have a dog that looks like an Akita, but seems not to know he is one. I'm sure if I had approached the situation better than I did, I could have found an Akita that not only looks like an Akita but acts like one too - but was accepting of dogs and cats. Exceptions to rules always exist, so unless you're stuck on a puppy, do not give up on an entire breed if that's what you want. Find an individual that suits you.

I like pit bulls, but I don't like their build and coat.
I like shelties, but I don't like their barking. (Says the deaf guy)
I like Labs, but I don't like their build and coat.

Etc etc. I like most breeds of dogs to an extent, there's just a thing or two that makes another breed better off for me.

Going against the general flow here but... my experience has always been that you will grow to love your pet and think they are the cutest. I have always been drawn to retrievers/border collies/shepherd type dogs. I thought they were gorgeous and wanted some form of mix of those breeds. Then the living situation I was in when I was finally able to get a dog of my own was not conducive to those types of breeds. I'd never been overly drawn to sighthounds. I thought they were cool looking dogs and very elegant but not like "OMG LOOK AT THAT ADORABLE DOG!". Got involved with greyhounds... fell in love. Pretty convinced that greyhounds are the most gorgeous dogs to ever walk this planet now.

Also. Never wanted a white dog. White is probably my least favourite colour. We adopted Summit because he was the right fit. I was kind of sad that he was white and had almost no colour on him. But after a short time I came to feel he was the most handsome greyhound. When I got Kili I wanted a non-white. But the two litters were almost exclusively white parti colours. Again, I asked the breeder to choose an appropriate individual for me and I got Kili. I also didn't like that she had a half coloured face. The lack of symmetry bothered me. Now I think she's gorgeous.

So MY advice. Look for a breed that FITS. Then get involved in non-committal ways like fostering. See how you feel about it. I bet they grow on you because you'll enjoy living with them. But if they don't... you're just fostering and volunteering. Yes, they're all individuals so you could find an individual that is different from the breed norm and fits you but that's a lot harder to find than a breed that generally matches you. Just my two cents/experience.

I see you have cats, so an ACD or husky type dog may not be the best for you. ACD's are not like other breeds of herding dog. I usually don't recommend them esp if its going to be the person's first ACD, and esp if they have just seen them through the internet ... yes they are nice looking but that's not all that is to them. they are tough, ballsy in your face dogs that can be a challenge for them the most prepared people.

Well obviously you should come to the MA meetup and meet yourself some ACDs .

I too have fallen for the "beautiful breeds".
Loves Huskies and most northern breeds: My climate is too hot, I have small prey animals, and I don't have a fence that could contain them.
Love most giant breeds: Can't afford them and have health issues that make walking them a no-go.
Love greyhounds, borzoi and solukis: Don't want to deal with the recall issues and all three are super rare here.

I'd say just go with the dog that feels "right" to you when you meet him/her.

I know what you mean... I love doodles, and think they are delightful and silly... but the more I get to know them, the more I really don't think I would enjoy living with one.

On the other hand, there are several breeds that look bad on paper, but the more individuals I meet, I think they're exactly what I want at some point in the future. ACDs, in particular - the more I meet them, the more I want one. I just feel like I click really well with all the ACDs I have met.

There have also been dogs of breeds that I have absolutely ZERO interest in owning that I have fallen in love with, and if my personal situation had been a bit different (i.e. not at my pet limit), I'd have adopted them in a heart beat. So I think as much are there are breeds/types that you may connect to best, sometimes there is that intangible something that makes all the difference.

It's just the strangest thing. I feel like my heart swells now every time I see a GSD. And it's not that I'm attracted to how they look, I had zero interest in GSDs and Huskies prior to working at PetSmart, don't care for how they look one bit (I've always liked muscular smooth coated dogs). But when I think about the actual practicalities of living with a GSD, mainly the stranger danger stuff, I feel like I shouldn't get one. I don't think I want to have to be super careful with visitors (again).


Everything I think I want seems to go out the window once I start meeting dogs. I think I want a super excitable, OMG I love everyone, spazzy dog. It's what I've just always liked on paper. But when actually interacting with dogs I like dogs that take a little while to warm up but then stick like glue. They ask for attention with a gentle nudge of your hand and look adoringly at you. Loyal always by your side types. but they also have to have a sense of humor, doing naughty stuff just to see your reaction, then running over to you when you catch them with a big grin on their face like they know they're so funny har har har. It's just not what I thought I wanted. The thing I really seem to like is this certain intelligence GSDs seem to have, like they understand exactly what you're saying. They may or may not listen when you tell them to do something, but you get the feeling they still understood what you said. I don't know if it's the way they look at you or that they always seem to give some response when you speak to them, or what it is really, but I love it. I'd never met dogs like that before, I thought I liked derpy dogs, but I guess not.


I think I'll have to foster to see what I really like in my house and day to day life.

If your only concern with GSDs is not wanting a dog who has stranger issues, I think you could absolutely find a dog who is ok with strangers. Especially in a more popular breed, you can find one in rescue that is "watered down" enough to be quite friendly, but still has some of the sharpness.

I know how you feel though...I absolutely adore rotties, and many mastiff breeds, I could bond with a dog like that so easily, but I'm also extremely social, love having people over, throwing parties, going to crowded places, and it wouldn't be fair to constantly stress a guardy breed out like that.