The musing thread

Saeleofu

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I was listening to Macklemore's "Same Love" earlier (my current favorite song), and I got to thinking...being gay isn't a choice, but so what if it was? What would be so wrong about someone CHOOSING that lifestyle? Shouldn't it be okay regardless? :popcorn:
 

*blackrose

"I'm kupo for kupo nuts!"
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I'll be getting married in six months. (Sooner, actually, if you count us signing documents as getting married. We're going to have the ceremony later, and that is when we'll both think of us as "married".) I'll be living out of state, maybe across he country, in six months. And in a year (or two), if everything is stable, we think we want to start trying for a child.

I never thought I'd be here. Never really planned on getting married (although I hoped I would). Never really planned on having kids. Definitely never planned on moving out of state. It just seems so...strange. In a very good way.

It's odd how life turns out sometimes.
 

FG167

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I'll be getting married in six months. (Sooner, actually, if you count us signing documents as getting married. We're going to have the ceremony later, and that is when we'll both think of us as "married".) I'll be living out of state, maybe across he country, in six months. And in a year (or two), if everything is stable, we think we want to start trying for a child.

I never thought I'd be here. Never really planned on getting married (although I hoped I would). Never really planned on having kids. Definitely never planned on moving out of state. It just seems so...strange. In a very good way.

It's odd how life turns out sometimes.
I agree! I have many similar thoughts lately. It makes my brain pop
 

Lyzelle

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My exhusband told me that I will find my way in life because I am a wonderful, talented woman.

I'm unsure if this is a new low or what.
 

crazedACD

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I am so tired of trying to make things work in my life, and try to figure out what to do, and the decisions I needed to make like yesterday.

I couldn't get enough financial aid to support myself through school in Arizona. So I'm staying here. I'm currently going to a community college. I can't decide on a degree program. I work 10-6 Sunday-Thursday..I can't find a program that has classes during the times I'm available. I could move my schedule around and do like a 5pm class once a week or something, but there are still a handful of classes that aren't offered at that time. I was aiming for a biotech degree but one of the classes is off campus..like two hours away from my house...three times a week..in the middle of the day :(.

I've been leaning towards a vet tech program but I end up with the same result, I'm not available for a full time, week day schedule. So I was thinking of just finishing out general studies or a business degree (online mostly)...but I don't think that will get me farther in life. I can't not work. Considered looking for overnight or evening work, no, I love my job and I would hate to give it up.

So then I'm still living with my mother, who is insisting I pay a large amount of rent, and I'm considering buying a house instead. Rent here is insane. But then I'm stuck here. I don't like this state. I would like to be in Arizona. And my car is having some squeaking and rattling noises. Everyone is saying to get rid of it, a Ford isn't going to last much past 100k miles. I'd be happy to pay a few repair bills, but what if I turn around in a few months and the transmission dies? But if I AM going to buy a house, I'd rather do that before buying a new car.

I really need to make some decisions :(.

And then I started seeing my ex again. I've known him a few years now, we've dated maybe like 3 months total. I agreed to start seeing him again, and last night he pulls out the I love yous and is talking about living together. :eek: Thanks for freaking me out. I really do like him, I think he is a nice guy, but I think I have some relationship issues and throwing that at me all at once freaks me out. Oh, and I find myself thinking of this song when I'm with him.
[YOUTUBE]fUYaosyR4bE[/YOUTUBE]
He's a bit vanilla (in a lot of aspects), and it worries me. I've been with people that I'm enthralled with, I can't get enough, I want to be with them all the time, everything is great. With him, it's just not so, but it isn't really "bad"...I don't know if I need to get over myself or what.

If you read all that you deserve a cookie or something. :popcorn:
 
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Co-worker is sitting there bashing another co-workers beliefs, not even realizing that I believe the same. Looks like I get to have a serious talk with the staff about keeping their religion and politics out of the salon if they can't be civil about it. Ugh.
 

meepitsmeagan

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I am so tired of trying to make things work in my life, and try to figure out what to do, and the decisions I needed to make like yesterday.

I couldn't get enough financial aid to support myself through school in Arizona. So I'm staying here. I'm currently going to a community college. I can't decide on a degree program. I work 10-6 Sunday-Thursday..I can't find a program that has classes during the times I'm available. I could move my schedule around and do like a 5pm class once a week or something, but there are still a handful of classes that aren't offered at that time. I was aiming for a biotech degree but one of the classes is off campus..like two hours away from my house...three times a week..in the middle of the day :(.

I've been leaning towards a vet tech program but I end up with the same result, I'm not available for a full time, week day schedule. So I was thinking of just finishing out general studies or a business degree (online mostly)...but I don't think that will get me farther in life. I can't not work. Considered looking for overnight or evening work, no, I love my job and I would hate to give it up.

So then I'm still living with my mother, who is insisting I pay a large amount of rent, and I'm considering buying a house instead. Rent here is insane. But then I'm stuck here. I don't like this state. I would like to be in Arizona. And my car is having some squeaking and rattling noises. Everyone is saying to get rid of it, a Ford isn't going to last much past 100k miles. I'd be happy to pay a few repair bills, but what if I turn around in a few months and the transmission dies? But if I AM going to buy a house, I'd rather do that before buying a new car.

I really need to make some decisions :(.

And then I started seeing my ex again. I've known him a few years now, we've dated maybe like 3 months total. I agreed to start seeing him again, and last night he pulls out the I love yous and is talking about living together. :eek: Thanks for freaking me out. I really do like him, I think he is a nice guy, but I think I have some relationship issues and throwing that at me all at once freaks me out. Oh, and I find myself thinking of this song when I'm with him.
[YOUTUBE]fUYaosyR4bE[/YOUTUBE]
He's a bit vanilla (in a lot of aspects), and it worries me. I've been with people that I'm enthralled with, I can't get enough, I want to be with them all the time, everything is great. With him, it's just not so, but it isn't really "bad"...I don't know if I need to get over myself or what.

If you read all that you deserve a cookie or something. :popcorn:
Move to MI? I'm going through similar things with work schedule messing up school stuffs. It will work out.

You know I'm always available if you need to talk. :)
 

meepitsmeagan

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Is thinking about trying my hand at making an agitation harness...

Main trouble. Cannot find just a square of leather big enough for the front pad. Don't really want to order bulk scraps for two harnesses. Decisions.
 

Picklepaige

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[YOUTUBE]bHNczNvOnGc[/YOUTUBE]

THIS IS HOW BORED I AM.

Llama llama duck.
I was once a treehouse, I lived in a cake....somethingsomethingsomething doorknob ankle rake!

Haha, I didn't watch the video, I can't find my headphones, but seeing that reminded me of how much I used to love that song in elementary school. I only vaguely remember the lyrics now :lol-sign:
 

Airn

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I was listening to Macklemore's "Same Love" earlier (my current favorite song), and I got to thinking...being gay isn't a choice, but so what if it was? What would be so wrong about someone CHOOSING that lifestyle? Shouldn't it be okay regardless? :popcorn:
I love that song. I'm not gay but it brings out a lot of emotion in me.

That's one thing that saddens me so much about my mother. She is a 'conservative Christian' and is against gay marriage (or gays at all, I suppose.) I love her a lot and we agree or are able to understand each other's point, but on this... It really makes me lose respect for her. She even blocked me on FB for posting 'gay things'? I wish her religion didn't get in the way of our relationship. The older she gets, the more religious and gun-toting she gets.

But it was nice to see that America is ahead of Russia in this regard.
 

crazedACD

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I love that song. I'm not gay but it brings out a lot of emotion in me.

That's one thing that saddens me so much about my mother. She is a 'conservative Christian' and is against gay marriage (or gays at all, I suppose.) I love her a lot and we agree or are able to understand each other's point, but on this... It really makes me lose respect for her. She even blocked me on FB for posting 'gay things'? I wish her religion didn't get in the way of our relationship. The older she gets, the more religious and gun-toting she gets.

But it was nice to see that America is ahead of Russia in this regard.
Did you see what the AKC sent the FCI? Squee.
http://caninechronicle.com/breaking...anti-gay-legislation-and-2016-world-dog-show/
 

Red.Apricot

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Donny's mouse, Faust, died tonight, and we're both having a really hard time with it.

I didn't get very attached, probably because I'd had mice as a kid, but watching him go through this is so awful.

I think she had a stroke; when we got home she was acting oddly, and he took her out. She was scared and moving shaky and funny, like her limbs didn't work right, and cuddled his hands like she always did when he picked her up, and then she had a seizure and died.

He loves that little mouse so much; he taught her to high five and she adored him; when he walked up to her tank she'd squeak and run up to the glass and jump around until he picked her up, and she'd run up his arm to his pocket, and she cuddled his hands... She didn't do any of that stuff for other people.

I want to fix this so badly and there's nothing I can do.

The worst part is that I know she was 'just a mouse' and no one is going to understand why he's so torn up over this, but she really, really meant a lot to him. It's not fair that mice don't live very long.
 

Beanie

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Today I moved all my scrapbooks over to my house, along with a bookshelf that I put up in my new office. I put all my scrapbook stuff on it. My hope was to kind of get stuff organized so if I wanted to, like, actually do something creative like draw or scrapbook or something, I feasibly COULD go to my house and do it.

While organizing I opened a box of photos. I had a bunch of photos that I decided I would go through and pitch. I have the negatives (or digital copies) should I decide I want a print again, but in the meantime a lot of that stuff has been scrapbooked so I don't need the prints.

To make sure I didn't need stuff I went through my scrapbooks. The main one I went through was my convention scrapbook from when I used to actually go to conventions and stuff. Part of this was fun and awesome because I realized I have pictures of the first time I was introduced to people that are good friends now. Lots of photos that make me laugh.
Part of this was also difficult because I have photos of people I don't talk to anymore... people I was once close with... somebody who was once my best friend and now I wish I could delete all memories of entirely.

I threw away the photos of him I had years ago, and also told my sister I wanted to take the photos of him out of my scrapbook. Most of them can't be removed because they are group photos, but there are a few. She told me not to. "Because he was part of your life." Yes. Yes, he was.

There is a page of him, and when I put the page together I bought a small flat metal cut-out that reads "bud," and put it on the page. And I flipped past this page and saw that word and wanted, again, to remove that page and throw that word away and just forget it all ever happened.

But there it sits. And it says "bud." Because, once upon a time, he was my bud.
He was my best friend.
Once upon a time.

I don't miss him exactly. Time has marched on. I haven't talked to him in many years but I imagine neither of us are the same people we once were. And besides, the fragments are too small to be able to be put back together. It cannot happen.
But I miss what we once had. My best friend. A person who no longer exists. And sometimes, I think, a person who never really did exist... a person who was a projection and a lie. Many lies. I will never know if it was all a lie or only some of it or maybe none of it really was... I will never know the truth. But in the long run, the truth doesn't really matter either, does it?

Once upon a time.
 

*blackrose

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I'm having a bad night tonight. :( I'm past the point of feeling any kind of emotion...I just feel empty. And that's worse than feeling sad.
 

Jules

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I just don't know where to start.

My clock is kind of ticking. There is no reason it wouldn't: I'm at "that" age (I'll be 32 this year), I have been married for 8 years, we're in a good financial situation and Dan would make a fabulous dad. He's probably the reason I am not completely freaked out by the thought of having a child. But I also have pcos and will need help with the process. Basically, my obgyn said he'd put me on clomid when I am ready. But I just can't seem to make an appointment. It would be so much easier if I'd just end up pregnant.... So much easier than to deliberately start this process. And who knows if I can even have children.

So I am afraid of the possible heartbreak and afraid of possibly changing my life forever.
 

meepitsmeagan

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Is seriously thinking about putting a whole lot of money into my existing vehicle to fix it up back to very good condition.. For being an older vehicle, it's really actually quite nice. The inline 6 those Cherokees have are awesome and super strong, and I love the body style, perfect size. Seriously the vehicle I had wanted all of my life.

The rockers are rusted, but those can be removed and have new welded on. It already has a custom bumper, though could use a new winch. Needs O2 sensors replaced, and the alternator is jank. Something is funky in the lift or the front end, and it shakes. Fix all that and we are golden.

Then drop a Cummins in it and call it a day. :D I would be the hottest thing around Kalamazoo.
 

Saeleofu

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Today was my last day at the clinic. I got ice cream cake :D The new person we hired is pretty awesome, I wish I could be around to get to know her.

Also, we had a gorgeous Dutch Shepherd come in for a progesterone. Lovely, lovely dog with well-informed owners that know what they're doing. And they feed raw! WOO HOO! Down side? They live in Minnesota, they're just traveling. Of course. And they get their raw for $0.40 a pound. NOT FAIR. I WANT AFFORDABLE RAW. I so want to put Logan on raw to see if it clears up his dandruff, but it's ridiculous expensive around here. Like...$2-$3 a pound.
 

SpringerLover

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That's because MN is an awesome group. However, now I'm curious as to who this Dutch is...! There certainly aren't many of them!
 

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