Feminist.... Are You One?

sillysally · Aug 4, 2013

I'm currently reading a book called "Homeward Bound: Why Women are Embracing the New Domesticity"-it's about the new movement toward the DIY, homesteading, baking, crafting, attachment parenting culture. Here is a link: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/145166544X

It's been causing me to think about feminism, how I define it, and whether or not I put myself in this catagory. Since we kind of have a smattering of age here, I thought it would be interesting to get others opinions.

How do you define feminism and do you see yourself as one? Also, do you think that the move towards a "modern homemaker" type culture is bad for women? Especially for the moms--the idea that attachment parenting, baby wearing, and extended breastfeeding was oppressive to women was brought up--what to you think?

ruffiangirl · Aug 4, 2013

I think it's great that we have the choice. That it is acceptable for a woman to be the family bread winner while the man stays home, that its acceptable for a woman to choose career over baby making. I also think it's great that women who do choose to be stay at home moms are not see and 'just' stay at home moms anymore.

CaliTerp07 · Aug 4, 2013

Absolutely I'm a feminist. I believe women should have the same choices, opportunities, and treatment that men have. If they choose to stay at home and raise babies instead of working, I'm glad that they were fortunate enough to make that choice. (Secretly I hope they have the skills to get a job to support their family should an emergency happen, but it's not my choice--it's theirs).

Zoom · Aug 4, 2013

I am 100% feminist. The word itself has become so tangled up, it's hard for people to realize that it means women are just as capable and deserving of the same basic rights and courtesies as men.

I am a feminist because women are still asked after an attack, "What were you wearing? Were you drinking? Did you ask for it?"

Because a decisive and strong-willed woman is still a "shrew", a "harridan" or a "b*tch

Because men are still legislating what I can and cannot do with my own body parts. Also, what medications I can or cannot take.

Because slut-shaming is still an accepted thing.

Because there is still no such thing as equal pay.

Because female politicians are still asked more about their wardrobe and personal life versus their policies than anyone would ever dream of asking their male counterparts.

Because women are still seen as less capable in the math and science sectors.

Because I've been told that in order to increase my sales, I just need to start wearing skirts, not improve my closing skills.

Oko · Aug 4, 2013

Zoom said:

I am 100% feminist. The word itself has become so tangled up, it's hard for people to realize that it means women are just as capable and deserving of the same basic rights and courtesies as men.

I am a feminist because women are still asked after an attack, "What were you wearing? Were you drinking? Did you ask for it?"

Because a decisive and strong-willed woman is still a "shrew", a "harridan" or a "b*tch

Because men are still legislating what I can and cannot do with my own body parts. Also, what medications I can or cannot take.

Because slut-shaming is still an accepted thing.

Because there is still no such thing as equal pay.

Because female politicians are still asked more about their wardrobe and personal life versus their policies than anyone would ever dream of asking their male counterparts.

Because women are still seen as less capable in the math and science sectors.

Because I've been told that in order to increase my sales, I just need to start wearing skirts, not improve my closing skills.

Yay, I was going to have to write something but now I can just quote this.

And as for the Mum subject, my view is that if possible it's good for one parent to stay home with kids, I see it as a full time job. Could be any parent.

sassafras · Aug 4, 2013

Well I believe women should have equal opportunities to make the choices they like regarding family, career (as long as they are capable and qualified), etc. without being denied those choices solely because of their gender. I guess that makes me a feminist, although in some ways I don't like having a word for it because it shouldn't be something warranting a word or any special belief system - it should just be true.

Unfortunately, human nature being what it is, many people see other people making different choices than their own as a threat to their choices. So in some ways women can be our own worst enemies, which I dearly wish people would just knock off.

Greenmagick · Aug 4, 2013

Zoom said:

:hail:

I proudly proclaim myself a feminist...it means the above.

There is a great quote from one of my favorite books "Radical Homemaker" that talks about what the basis of it is for me...I need to try and find it.

Basically, we have to be careful that we dont trade gilded cages for glass ceilings. It is JUST as important for a woman to be a doctor or an engineer as it is for woman to be able to dedicate time and energy to their family and children. Its a balance that each family needs to make work for themselves BUT I don't like anyone feeling there is no choice but to enter the rat race or no choice but to stay at home. That anyone has to work IMO is just as bad as someone "having" to stay at home

Eh, that is probably not very clear...will try and clarify later but am in the middle of working in the gardens right now....taking just a 5 min break and this caught my eye

FourIsCompany · Aug 4, 2013

I consider myself a feminist and by that, I mean I support opportunities and treatment that are equal to that of men. Basically, it's equal legal and societal treatment... like equal pay, armed forces service opportunities and government representation.

I think a woman doing what she wants, whether it's to be a doctor or to stay home and have babies is the epitome of feminism. My husband is a feminist, too.

And now that I read the other responses, I see that I'm in line with others.

Babyblue5290 · Aug 4, 2013

I'm currently taking a class in Feminism, what it is and how it relates to issues in society today. Like Zoom said, the word "feminism" has really become entangled with so much crap that it immediately makes most people go "no of course I'm not a radical, hairy, bra-burning, man-hating woman!" It's really an unfortunate thing to happen, especially since there is so much sexism still going on that we need to right. So yeah, I am a person who believes in equal rights for all people that are not prejudiced by sex.

Paviche · Aug 4, 2013

I'm replying without reading anyone else's replies so apologies if I'm just repeating after anyone!

I believe that feminism is all about CHOICE. The choice to be a business woman or house wife or anything in between. I believe that in the end it's all about equality. I do not want to be treated better than men, not at all. I just want the same opportunities available to me, just like how I think a man should be able to be a stay at home father if he wants.

It bothers me when women declare that they are not feminists, nuh uh, not them. Really? You don't want to be treated equally? You don't want access to all of these opportunities that only decades ago were not available to you? Feminism is not about hating men or stereotypically feminine traits/qualities. I think men are great and I love baking for my boyfriend and nurturing pets (in lieu of children.) I love cute clothes and getting dolled up. None of that excludes me from being a feminist!

Keechak · Aug 4, 2013

I'm curious what the opinion here is on the newer trend to sexually objectify men in media? Is this a turn towards equality or simply a bad turn?

BostonBanker · Aug 4, 2013

Well I like to rant about how the feminists ruined everything and if they didn't exist, I'd be able to spend the day in the house rather than working

But I do support equality, so I guess I am. I'm not burning my bra though. Seriously, I need those things. Not shaving would save a lot of time, though.

In the immortal words of the great Joss Whedon:

Dogdragoness · Aug 4, 2013

BostonBanker said:

:thumbsupsmileyanim: you go Joss, I love that quote.

I consider myself a feminist for all the reasons Zoom mentioned, that doesn't make me a bra burning (though I have been tempted since I HATE them) man hater, but working in the race horse profession (the other equine disciplines there is slightly more equality btw the sexes) there is still a lot of "looking down torwards women.

I wish I could:
buy a car
Go to a mechanic
Get my oil changed
Buy tires

WITHOUT needing my OH to come with me because I either get the run around or treated like a dumb ass because I am female.

FourIsCompany · Aug 5, 2013

Keechak said:

I would need an example of this because I'm not sure what you mean.

I know women are sexually objectified (sex sells!), so I guess it's true equality to also do it with men. HOWEVER, I don't think anyone should be seen as an "object", so that doesn't mean I approve of either. Instead of objectifying men, I would rather see the objectifying of women stop.

But then you have women who are totally willing to be objectified (dancers, prostitutes, actresses)... and men, too... So who is to say how they should live their lives?

My bottom line is, if the person is OK with it, then I'm OK with it. It's their life and their choice.

Dizzy · Aug 5, 2013

I don't believe in "isms" so much as equality and amti-discrimination.

You know what DOES annoy me though.... Currently pinks lyrics.

So many reasons!!!!!!!!!

If a man sang about slapping women???!!

What MESSAGE does this send to young people about relationships??!!

So wrong. Irritates me no end.

I don't think we need feminism, we need humanism!!!!

Greenmagick · Aug 5, 2013

Sex sells is a bit different from objectifying....

Am I ok with truly objectifying men..no. HOWEVER, I dont think it is exactly the same because in the world, in culture, men arent treated as objects but women far too often are.

I dont think the message is the same.

Airn · Aug 5, 2013

Dizzy said:

Really? Out of ALL the songs out there with negative messages, THIS is the one that annoys you? I really don't see how 'young people' will feel the need to slap their SOS around due to the lyrics in this song.

I don't consider myself a feminism. I'm for equality but I disagree with a lot of opinions that people who describe themselves as feminists believe. It has grown into a very subjective term. When I hear it, I do think of the intense bra burning, men should have kids, car mechanic times ten kind of woman.
So it depends on who is asking

FourIsCompany · Aug 5, 2013

Greenmagick said:

Great point. I think with this subject (as well as racism), we have to consider the history of our culture and how women have been oppressed historically... I mean, that's what caused the need to "break out" and start burning bras.

Usually, when one gender or race has historically had the power over the other, equality is going to be a difficult goal, without the oppressed party going a little overboard until the pendulum swings back to center.

sassafras · Aug 5, 2013

FourIsCompany said:

This is kind of how I feel about it, but it's complicated.

I don't want to live in a world where no one can ever admire an attractive person of either gender, but I don't want to live in a world where a person's entire worth is based on their physical appearance, either.

Also, traditionally there is a cultural element of power/control/safety disparities between men and women that make it hard to straight-up compare the effects of objectification of one gender to the other. Which complicates the issue.

Zoom · Aug 5, 2013

Dogdragoness said:

After working at a car dealership for over a year, I find it hilarious when I go to other typically male dominated places and they try and treat me like they would some other female. In many cases it's worse, because I'm short, petite and look about 10 years younger than I actually am. Then when I start firing back, negotiating and all the other things women are socialized NOT to do (good girls don't rock the boat), half of them don't know how to respond.

I like turning stereotypes on their head. I've always been one to buck the system and have tended towards traditionally male dominated sectors. I've had to learn how to have a thick skin and to give back as good as I get while not alienating myself completely. There was a study put out a few years ago about how women who negotiate their contracts are seen as less desirable to work with by their male coworkers. How f*cked up is that?

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