Chaz Moms and Moms-to-Be Chat (everyone welcome)

So, I'm not pregnant nor do I have any (human) kids, but I could use some help....

I'm worried I can't have children. I have planned to go to a new doctor for a few months now and I keep putting it off. I've always had issues with my...female stuffs and I hate hate hate going to the doctor.

I'm hoping posting this will make me keep my promise to myself to go to the doctor. At the very latest by June.

I know several of you said you thought you couldn't have children and still were able to conceive and have your child. For those of you that went through any treatments or doctor visits.... how did it go? How costly was it? Invasive? Pretty much any information you can give me.

My way of not freaking out so far has just been to avoid the subject, but I know that's not the way to go about this. And, if it turns I can't (naturally) have children, I would like to know now while it would be easier for me to have children with help.

I may just be freaking out for no reason.... But I'd rather be prepared for the worst than oblivious to the problem. (And, really, there IS a problem, it's just a matter of what the problem is.)

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this but I thought moms and moms-to-be could help me.

I also agree that dogs are SO SO SO similar to children. I think people take it too negatively. I treat my dog better than some people treat their children. It's all a matter of perspective.

Airn, I'm sorry you're worried about fertility issues Female part troubles are horrible enough to deal with without having to worry about infertility.

I'm not sure if I'm the best person to give you advice on this, as I got pregnant unintentionally with absolutely zero treatments, but I did think I was infertile or had fertility problems for a long time, and then they were confirmed by a doctor about a year before I got pregnant.

I was in a serious relationship for 4 years. I lost my virginity to him, using protection, and after that...we didn't. I was on BC for maybe three months, stopped taking it. I always had super regular periods, and we used the rhythm method, so it wasn't like we were trying, but after 3 years of that and not getting pregnant, we started to wonder if one of us had fertility problems. At one point I had an early miscarriage.

I've always had "issues" with my period, but it was continually brushed off by my mom/doctors when I was younger. Super heavy periods - enough to bleed through a pad an hour - accompanied by fainting and vomiting from cramps. The cramps I also felt in my thighs and up to my shoulders. Every single month I missed at least one or two days of school/work, sometimes more. They said it was PMDD.

When I started using a diva cup is when I realized the issue was definitely physical (because of the heavy bleeding), and saw a doctor. She said if it wasn't cysts or a hormone imbalance, it was endometriosis. I asked what that meant about having children and she said "A very low chance of fertility and difficulty carrying a pregnancy to term". I looked it up, and apparently 1-2% of women with endo don't have troubles conceiving.

I miscarried again, early, a few months later. I then went on the pill to prevent another miscarriage (at this point, I assumed the endometriosis was causing no problems conceiving, but problems having a healthy pregnancy...now I've heard mixed opinions on whether that's a medical fact). I missed my first period on the pill - not very weird, since I had started a new BC and just miscarried. Halfway through the second BC cycle, I started to feel sick, and stopped taking the pills because I thought it was them (BC has made me sick a few times before). I didn't start to feel better, and didn't get my period. Apparently, anti-seizure meds interact with BC pills and cause them to not work. No one told me that.

Part of me thinks I may have GOTTEN pregnant BECAUSE I took BC. I have nothing scientific to back that up, but it doesn't seem totally farfetched - sometimes medications have opposite effects on people, especially if they've got an abnormal health situation to begin with. So I don't know. Since I haven't really been tested for fertility, or tried to get pregnant, I'm not sure if it will be hard for me in the future and this was just an anomaly, or if I'm one of the lucky ones with endo and no fertility issues. I know fertility problems are a huge struggle and emotional/mental hardship for so many people, but medical issues that usually come with infertility isn't a definite, and even hearing a doctor say you'll deal with issues isn't a definite. You won't know until you try, really.

That's awesome. Glad you had a great time with friends

I've heard my mom say to a student "Mattew, look at my eyes." I mentioned I have a similar command for the dogs-lol.

Every once in a while I'll say to one of my 8th graders, "Sit. Stay. Good boy."

I'm kind of terrified of all the restrictions and things after given birth. I knew you couldn't drive for 2-6 weeks after a c-section, but the doctor just told me no driving for 2 weeks after a vaginal, either. Granted with my seizure history I probably wouldn't be doing that, anyway, but still.

I was also told I can't lift anything more than 10 pounds after giving birth - including the baby - for 2 weeks. UM. Baby in the car seat? Laundry? Milo? I feel like I lift 10+ pound things multiple times every day. And they said to limit stairs

I knew giving birth was strenuous and I'd be sore and tired and don't expect to keep the house perfect etc. etc. but I just don't think I was mentally prepared to be like...incapacitated after it. With a baby. To take care of. By myself.

Wow that does sound restrictive! I'm going to ask my doula friend if she has any input.

ok this is what my doula friend had to say:

It wasn't a doctor, it was a midwife. The hospital has an extremely "natural" approach to childbirth - for a hospital at least - pro-delayed cord clamping, babies only room in (or go to the nursery for serious complications), they don't weigh or measure the baby (separate them from mom) until an hour + after birth, advocates of skin-to-skin, etc.

When I asked why about the driving restrictions, she said that it was partially because in the days after birth, your reflexes are slower, you're likely to be exhausted and an unsafe driver, etc...as well as that babies under 2 weeks shouldn't be in the backseat without someone sitting next to them, just to make sure that they're able to handle the carseat and ride, breathe properly in that position, etc. So that makes sense to me. And honestly, I don't know why I was so freaked out by that, because with a seizure history (even if I can tell if a seizure is coming on), I'm not about to drive right after childbirth anyway.

I didn't ask about why the restriction on lifting. It's just in a pamphlet they gave me about care after coming home. I guess I can ask the midwife more about that at my next appointment. Maybe it's just shoved in their to avoid a lawsuit or something.

I think it's unfair to say that the doctor must have little faith in the mother or that the doc is doing something to produce poor recuperation. I think it's more like "we have to cover our bases so be as safe as possible to prevent tearing or excessive bleeding"

I had excellent care at the hospital where I gave birth and they gave the standard "lay off driving, heavy lifting and let your body heal for a few weeks" speech. When Hannah ended up in NICU for pneumonia the nurses told me when I was discharged that when I cane to visit I would need to be brought in and taken out in a wheelchair. It was their policy. Of course I didn't do that past day one and no one said anything about it but their bases were covered that they at least told me the policy.

Just do what you feel you can handle. The doctor has to give you the warnings so if you push yourself too much they can at least say they warned you. You won't be incapacitated but you will have your limits. Listen to your body

Agreed. Just listen to your body and you should be fine. I personally just had issues with lifting because of how weak my abs were. I could not lift a carseat or anything remotely heavy for probably about two weeks. I wasn't given any restrictions specifically though.

They gave me all those rules. I pretty much followed none of them. BUT I felt amazing pretty much right afterward. If you do to much to fast your body is going to let you know.

I find the driving restrictions a bit stupid. What do they think single moms do? I had to take Falon to get a blood test three days after we got home - Matt had to go back to work. What was I supposed to do?

Did anyone else start getting "morning sickness" at the end of their pregnancy? I'm 33 weeks, and the past few days have been feeling slightly nauseous at times, but today it got really bad, I couldn't finish dinner - haven't vomited yet though. I just feel awful right now.

I haven't, but several moms in my birth month group have.

Are you having any heartburn or indigestion? That could be the culprit. Baby is taking up a lot of space by 33 weeks and pushing on your stomach.

Either way, hope you feel better soon!

Today is my last day of work. Thank god. My feet, legs and hands are so swollen and painful and I'm totally exhausted because I can't sleep. I'm full term on Friday!

I did x2. totally normal,

I'm 30 weeks pregnant... Is it too early to start hyperventilating about the idea of labor?

Something I'd recommend for everyone with new babies is The Wonder Weeks. There is an app you can download or you can get the book. Very helpful for understanding babies development periods and why they might be fussy for seemingly no reason.
http://www.thewonderweeks.com/

I downloaded the app and it goes by due date. Which...I mean it makes sense, but Falon is pretty clearly in some kind of development phase right now (clingy, cluster feeding, just weird) and the app thinks she's only one week old. Instead of four. And she fits the signs for the four week wonder thing perfectly. :|

Yeah the due date thing is kind of weird. I think it's just a guideline. At least you can read the signs and make your own judgement on if she's going through it or not. Clarissa is in the 8-9 week one right now. She doesn't stay happy for very long and wants to breast feed all day long and sleep with the boob. Lol

Oh and there are also growth spurts which happen at different times than the wonder weeks. If its not one thing it's another!