The Chaos that has became my life

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#21
Me and Katalin both needed our inner LGD to surface - seems like it's finally surfacing.

The big dog....erm....*ahem*. The big dogs have arrived . (No offence to small breeds and their lovers - Corgis, Paps, Eskies, Poms, Jadgs, Finkies & Lundehunds I'm talkin' about you in particular.).
 
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#23
Okie need to sign off for the night (alas psych ward regulations).

To the two nurses who have that pretentious yuppy attitudes about yourselves (you know who you b*tches are.): F*ck the both of you.
 

Dakotah

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#25
I am so sorry you have gone through so much.
But I am glad you are doing better.

And also to the Chazzers that have helped, Especially Romy, y'all are amazing. Y'all do so much for people, and even though we all argue and bitch sometimes, if a Chazzer needs help, there is no shortage of help around here. <3

Stay strong Steph, you will get through this :)
 
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#26
Stephy, I have seen what I call "fake internet people" step up and move mountains for their friends before, people who have never met in person, and now is no exception. Chaz is an amazing place with amazing people and you are one of them. The wealth of knowledge here extends far beyond dogs, and into the hardships you are living right now. Stay strong and listen to them and if you need to, lean on them. Chaz is a strong community that is here for you, you are strong use Chaz to bolster that strength.

You and your father are in my thoughts.
 
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#28
Oh, and that sillydamn cliche about "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger?" The strength is already there; the bullshit just tempers the steel that's already in you and shines it up. That's why we survive. Because of what's in us -- innately. It's YOU, Grrrrl. You're a woman who runs with the wolves.
 
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#29
I think we run after the predators Renee ;) lol being LGD's and all.

I'm probably being discharged tomorrow - heading to a b&b till I can find a room to rent out (been scrambling).

I crave a night of slumber on a sofa or at least something that isn't made of plastic. The thing that nearly unhinged me throughout this whole ward stay has been the sheer rate of discomfort about everything. My room is small, cramped, and overheated. The building is decrept and medical equipment out of date, the nurses and staff are right out of the stone age (more so their attitudes I guess...), and I really don't take to being told what to do well. Certain reprimands from childhood I've learned to enjoy now - like taking naps and getting spanked; but telling me to be out by 11, not to take more than 20 minutes with my phone at a time and checking up on me every hour during the night with a flashlight isn't cool. Turndowns and meals are not provided in rooms - you fetch your tray from the canteen when it's brought up and you change your own sheets. VGH, yeah I know I'm typing this from a kiosk of yours but I don't give a d@mn, I am NEVER coming back here. UBC hospital or Richmond General all the way. (with any luck, those won't ever be nessesary for me either...).
 

joce

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#30
Be thankful you get a computer and your phone. I'm shocked any psych unit would allow that. Mine doesn't.

Think positive and take advantage of being there. There are people there that can help you.
 
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#31
I'm situated in the "Brief intervention unit" (or BIU in their talk). It's by no means the worst place imaginable nor the most unreasonable but things could be alot better. The level of care, service, and assistance offered to me has been....ugh. I'll talk about it after I'm out of here.

The social worker can't do anything for me nor put me on disability but keeps badgering me with questions, neither can the doctor but she keeps on with it too, so does the occupational therapist, my nurses and so on. I understand they want to be sure I'm safe and that they can't be held liable for not having done everything they could possibly do but come on, alot of this stuff is just really pointless and redundant.
 

joce

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#32
But don't look at it that way! they really have coping skills and things you can learn to use in every day life. Take advantage of it. You don;t have to put on tough face and get through it, take the help or you may end up back there. Sometimes we end up places to learn and grow;) the tough need help to.
 
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#33
I hear you, Stephy.

I've never been the one stuck inside, but when the (truly) crazy -- as in hearing voices, changing personalities crazy -- ex was an involuntary patient (after trying to kill me, among other things) the amount of vapidity and obtuseness and "that's not what the book says" crap that went on in the state mental hospital was . . . surreal? After dealing with it -- or trying to, they didn't want to talk to me, the person who had lived with him for the last 10 years, they insisted on only talking to his family whom he rarely saw, including his brother and sister IN LAW who only saw him for about half an hour once a year at Christmas . . . :wall:

According to his mother -- and I managed to be present at this meeting -- it was my fault he was sick because . . . . I KEPT A DOG IN THE HOUSE.

And the social worker, therapists and docs actually took her seriously.

She's damned lucking I didn't let the dog kill him when he was trying to kill me! Literally.

Well, are you laughing yet? ;)

We survive. Because we won't give in.
 

Laurelin

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#34
I was actually thinking about you a couple days ago. I had no idea anything was going on but was worried since you haven't posted in a while. It's good to hear from you and that you and Katalin are doing ok.

Chaz is amazing and has helped so many people (including me) get through some rough spots. It's awesome that Romy and Xandra were able to help out.

Take care.
 

Dogdragoness

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#35
As someone who has (tho not this bad) had personal problems that are just a fraction of what you are going thru & I can only imagine. Keep your chin up remember as bad as it may seem, you can only go up from bad :)
 

AdrianneIsabel

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#36
Try a hostel for a bit? Some allow dogs. I have a girlfriend who needed to get away after high school so she moved into a hostel in SoCal and then got a job there in exchange for rent. Eventually she figured things out but they helped a ton.
 
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#37
Thanks everyone <3. It means so much to me.

joce,

The doctors said themselves today when I met with them that the level of help they've been able to provide for me/appropriate to my situation has been "modest", to say the least. The call made from home was to the police, not for an ambulance, and it was meant to protect us more from the b*tch bailiffs than from myself - the suicide part wasn't even mentioned till abit later into the call in fact. My time here has been an aggravation, annoyance, hinderance and has done more to aggravate the issue than it has to help it and myself. I am very disappointed in this hospital's ward. One thing it has been is an experience - I've made a few friends, exchanged emails, had some fun karaoke concerts, and gotten to learn a few things here and there. I admit the time "off" has been kinda refreshing - but I'm like my dog/breeds - I'll take on battles, fighting, defending my territory, and stickin' it to people anytime over respite or (forced) downtime.

A quick low-down:

*Delivered to VGH on November 7th at around 3 PM by a Police requested EMT for having suicidal ideation/being under great duress.

*Was assessed primarily by the resident Emerg Dr (he WASN'T a psyc Dr.) and placed under the jurisdiction of the Mental Health Act of BC/Vancouver Coastal health systems.

*Was assessed on the same day by a emerg psych Dr. She said she was concerned about my ideation of suicide earlier, my lack of sleep (I hadn't had any for a good 36 hours at this point.), and me being safe. She suggests at least a overnight stay and says she wants to have me transferred into another ward.

*9:00 PM: I am told that a bed in the ward is avalible and that I am to be escorted there presently. I am wheelchaired there (I asked to walk and was denied the 'priviledge') through a cavernous, squalid looking tunnel. I was officially checked into the "Brief intervention unit". I am welcomed by a portly nurse named *Jenny who took my blood pressure manually (! I didn't know those pumps still existed).

ETA have to go now, will update shortly.
 

MafiaPrincess

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#38
Jenny who took my blood pressure manually (! I didn't know those pumps still existed).
As a paramedic.. NIBP machines are notoriously inaccurate. To the point where many regions do not have them on ambulances as manual is more accurate. Places that do have them usually have rules that you have to do a manual pressure first, then may go NIBP, and if your pressures do not match.. Manual all the way while taking care of your patient.

The ER will take my manual pressure over NIBP any day due to their inaccuracy.. and those in Afib often get an error reading. Sadly technology isn't the be all.
 

MafiaPrincess

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#40
Hospitals are busy and usually won't bother unless they get a weird reading. Paramedics I know in regions with NIBP have pretty much lost their manual skills as they cheat.. claim they took a manual pressure and switched to NIBP when they are lazy and always go with the machine.

Backfires occasionally though if the machine is off enough to make someone hypotensive normal, or hypertensive normal. They then get questioned how they didn't manage to catch it themselves early on in the call.

Technology makes ppl lazy.
 

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