The Venting Thread

Did you try mentioning that you're a grown woman and this is your money and it will be ENTIRELY your responsibility and that you are not a child asking for permission.
Sorry but between the fluid moods of my partners and my mental health and overall happiness, you can guess which comes first.

Puppies are a stress on the household, yes. But if you truly make the commitment to take full responsibility (feeding, walking, playing, training) and commit to crating and keeping an eye on the future pup..how much does it really affect him? Some crying in the crate at night, maybe a mess on his favorite carpet (that you will clean)... is that really worth making his partner miss out on something that will make you happy?

Fran (((hugs)))

Sadly, they are all too common here in the US

Happens ALL THE TIME only since I'm Asian I get the 'omg you didn't go to college!?'

My answer is always 'correction I went and dropped out. And now this college drop out with 7-8 years of work history in the field you re trying to break into sees your useless degree and wonders with absolutely no experience what can you offer this company?'

Usually shuts them up

*blackrose* I would sit down and talk with him and try to get to the bottom about why he feels the puppy will stress him out and get to the root of his feelings on the issue. I wouldn't just discount it altogether, I would really try to find out why he is so opposed to the idea. Usually when someone is so vehemently against something there is an underlying reason that they don't want to show.

also, talk to him about how you feel about it and why. Talk to him about how it will affect your mental state and such. Just REALLY put it all out on the table and try to come to a compromise. If he loves you he'll want you to be happy but it kind of sounds like he's scared of something and just doesn't want to say it

iCloud is being dumb and making my phone not work properly.

I know the issues: when I'm over at his place, that means we'll have four dogs in a one bedroom apartment. He already feels aggravated with Gracie and Cooper at times, that coupled with a retriever puppy...its a bit much. He is under a TON of stress due to school and family issues, and for him, adding a pup may be the scale tipping point. He said he would have absolutely zero problem if I waited until after graduation, just because his stress load will be so much less.

Which was my original plan. But I didn't realize how awful I'd feel when I'm at my apartment alone. So I have to decide which of us would be worse off with or without a puppy. No fun.

I'm a grown woman and can make my own decisions...but I'm also in a relationship and a puppy is enough of an extra living thing that I'd like everyone involved to be okay with it. I'm not a child asking for permission...but I don't want to thumb my nose at my partner's wishes, either.

I'm going to mull over it, get some other opinions...probably see if I can get myself over feeling so bad when I'm home alone. I have a Chessie and a Lab breeder's number, both with pups due soon, both in my price range, both people who I would feel good supporting, so if I decide a pup will be happening, I have the resources to decide that.

OH right... I forgot about your living circumstances. I was thinking you guys live together.

Is there anyway you can take one of the dogs with you a couple of nights from his apartment?

I've thought about it. Cynder is his and Cooper drives me nuts (and also prefers him), so if I were to take one it'd be Gracie. I'm hesitant to do so, though, because she thinks Dameon is a snack. When he's out I'd have to keep her shut up and vice versa. Which is doable, but I'd really like to not have to worry about something happening. May still try, though, and see how it goes.

I've entertained the idea of fostering a cat from work, too, but with the rats I'm very leery, especially since Bees is an escape artist. And I can't have a cat in my life for the next 15 years, and I'm worried about becoming attached...

I did an internship with a movie production company in London and an executive summed it up pretty neatly
"A movie in Europe about a black man and a white woman who fall in love is a romantic movie. A movie in America about a black man and a white woman who fall in love is a movie about race."

It sucks frankly. I live in the city, always have, so it's much less than if I lived in some other places.. but I still hear it all the time.

And what's worse about being of a "lighter dark complexion" (Other than CONSTANTLY being compared to cookies or starbucks beverages) is that people really let their ugly inner racists out when they think there is no-one around "black enough" to be offended.

I just want to cry right now
So we are now heading to thomasville for dr appts.

Savannahs rash was essentially ignored besides giving me yet ANOTHER cream to try, my not wanting to over do her vax was ignored and I didnt find out until AFTER they gave her the actual shot. Just so much.

They have appts on next tuesday with our favorite dr.

She is 12.4 and 24 inches long.

Just watched a tornado pass the building I was in. Not an experience I want to relive.

Matt's on the phone with his grandma. She's dying and they're saying goodbye. **** cancer.

I'm so sorry

((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

Im so sick of one of my "friends" right now.

Shes pregnant with twins and has a boy Morgans age. She quit her job (her boyfriend does not work) and they moved in with her mother. Her mother lives in a town where there are NOT jobs anywhere near there and if they are there they are minimum wage at best. She had a decent job in town working for a law firm and a decent place to live they could go cheaper but wouldnt have the room they wanted. Well she wants to cloth diaper thats how we became friends. My friends and I have ALL given her CHEAP and FREE options on how to do it. I mean shes been given help from EVERYONE including my friend with twins a month younger then Savannah and a kid her others age so basically the SAME setup. Everyday its another whine about cloth diapers being too expensive (there are charities and people WILLING to give her free diapers) and its overwhelming and this and that. EVERYONE is doing the work for her. quit freaking complaining and figure it out. Most of all GROW UP you decided to have twins now act like it.

/end rant.

That makes me sick. I've obviously never had that question asked before, but it's a little shocking that someone would ask that of you and not realize how racist it is.

SO common here. Some say it, some just dance around implying it. I've had quite a few people "sympathize" with me about "how hard it must have been for you to get into college, but if you were [insert whatever race they hate here], you would have been accepted right away. . . damned affirmative action." HALF of my college is white. Don't try to tell me it's hard for white kids to get into college.

It makes me want to stab someone. This sums up my opinion on the whole thing:

Honestly, even here, as assbackwards as this place is, the only people who might say something like Fran's describing are elderly -- different time, different world and really out of touch.

It's unreal that anyone under the age of 70 would make a comment like that unless it's a skinhead or they've just crawled down out of the hills for the first time in three generations.

I think a lot of people joke about race without trying to be mean/racist. I think that since it's something that most people have just labelled as 'don't talk about' a lot of people just don't know what's acceptable to say and not to say.

For Asians the oreo joke is banana or twinkie. Yellow on the outside white on the inside.

I don't get questioned about college a lot any more. But I do get questioned about my accomplishments at work a lot. I get asked 'did you really do blahblahblah or were you just there to fill a minority position?'

While it sounds SUPER rude typed out they usually don't mean it to be as bad as it sounds. A lot of it stems from schools and job places screaming 'we believe in being diverse!!!'. While it is good to have a giant diverse group of people. The amount of attention a lot of them put on it makes it look that diversity trumps actual accomplishments.

I get it a LOT from people my age a lot 25-35 year olds. They're the ones that have had the 'diversity' shoved down their throats for the majority of their life.

Thanks. I don't know what to do for him and his grandma is a seriously awesome lady. And there are so many parallels between the way this is going down and the way my grandma died that it's bringing back a lot of really crummy memories. I really really ****ing hate cancer. It's such a horrible way to lose people.

ARGH I have to ship some packages and stamps.com isn't working

This. Got a job? Got into a school? Well, it's because you're a minority. Forget the fact that 95% of the workforce is white. You got the job because you aren't. You minorities are obviously at the advantage here.

It's not usually meant in the erm..traditional..hateful scream it from the white hoods kind of way.
It's subtle, VERY KIND, humorous even..and just as annoying.

It's no fun getting compared to food products at all times. I don't call you my little whipped cream friend..don't call me your little caramel one. Starbucks drinks are just that..drinks. I am not a latte caramel whatever.

It sucks that everything you do also feels like a kind of *oh and you get an extra cookie because you're a MINORITY*
Got an A on a physics exam? "Fran, this is excellent work.. as a female minority it's so nice to see you shine so brightly in this class"
..why do I have to shine so brightly as a female minority? Do I not shine just as much just for being Fran?

It sucks having people assume you are poor or had a rough childhood, there is a lot of weird pity kindness that comes with it. This happens A LOT. A big group of friends will be making dinner plans and one will very kindly tell JUST me something like "Oh don't worry..they have really reasonably priced stuff too!" or offer to pay for me.
or people will hear I went to private school or something as a child and say something like "You are so lucky to have parents who would make that kind of sacrifice and go without so you could attend school in a nice place"
..we didn't go without because I went to private school.
..we lived in a nice area so our local public school was a nice place.. I just preferred private school.

You get a GOLD MEDAL AND A COOKIE FOR BEING "their kind" of attractive.
"Your hair is so pretty! You are so lucky you got THIS kind of hair HA HA HA"
"That is such a cute dress, you dress so preppy! Not ghetto at all "
"You are so lucky you got caramel skin, it's so pretty! I can't imagine being THAT dark"

This has happened to me at least 5 times
"What does your father do?"
"Oh he's a surgeon."
"You never told me you were adopted!"

W
T
F


This video is THE BEST **** white girls say to black girls lol it's a satire, but based in A LOT of truth
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