Something my cousin posted on FB about Halloween

Wow sO much drama surrounding Halloween and expectations of children.

I am pretty mindful of Hannah saying thank you and sometimes I don't hear her even though she did say it and people will say "it's ok. She did" lol. There are a lot of kids running around, it is noisy and sometimes you may think your child said thank you when they didn't. There is usually multiple kids at any door at any given time so keeping track at every door... Forgive them if maybe they missed the thank You at your house... And with so many kids maybe the candy distributor just missed it themselves

After trick or treat we come home and sit at the end of the driveway and hand out candy and honestly, we are too busy to notice if every single child says thank you or not so really I can't recall any moments where I felt kids were just these awful monsters running around taking advantage of people and their candy.

I saw a thing on facebook the other day that made me laugh and kind of reminds me of this sort of thing. "I've seen the village and I don't think I want it raising my children"

So much hostility over children not being perfect examples of society at all times. I am always trying to be mindful of Hannahs manners and try to be a good example of using them myself but I also understand that she is a CHILD and she isn't always going to remember every thing she should say and do in every situation

And how great would it be to be that happy and excited about something so simple?

:hail:

That's SO important, Yoko, along with checking the haul before letting them eat it.

Who knows? Maybe someone already a little crazy who got really bent over ungrateful trick or treaters?

Really. If you're not going to have fun, turn the lights out and don't participate. It's supposed to be fun.

Sure, there's always the chance you're going to get a few real jerkoffs, but don't let them sour the interactions with the little kids who are having a blast.

Don't take it all so seriously. There's plenty of other crap in life to take seriously. And don't take it so personally!

No, I don't hand out candy anymore, for several reasons, the biggest one being the dogs, and there really aren't many people who still take their kids out trick or treating here anyway. I kinda miss it.

I'm Australia - so obviously we don't have a strong Halloween tradition, but we seem to be slowing seeing some aspects of Halloween being celebrated. I always buy some lollies just in case some kids decide to come trick or treating, but I haven't had it happen in my neighbourhood yet. Some of my friends have though. I'll admit that it'd make me happy if it did happen, I'm a big kid lol.

Honestly I don't notice if kids say thanks or not unless they are exceptionally cute or especially obnoxious. I do hand out the candy though, unless it's at the end and I have a ton of extra. Last year at the very end we got a sister and her two brothers from 7 to about 10 years old...

Me: Take as much as you want, we have a ton of extra and trick-or-treat is over.
*kids take like 3 pieces each*
Me: You can take more if you want, really its ok.
The Sister (indicating her brother): He doesn't need anymore candy, he's obese.

And "cheap" candy? We have to spend $30-$40 on candy every year to avoid running out-that's a date night! Heck, I had to rein in DH-he wanted to go all out and get full sized candy bars this year. Honestly I don't care if parents come with an infant-I figure after months of sleep deprivation they could use some free sugar.

One year we ran out of candy and had to go around the corner and get a couple of cases of pop. A lot of toddlers got their very own can of Mountain Dew that year.

As far as saying "Thank you," I hardly think that insisting your child say it (assuming they have no underlying issues) is that difficult or will somehow make their Halloween less fun. It takes two seconds to say it, and teaching older kids to remember their manners even when highly stimulated is a valuable lesson. Whether they actually feel grateful or not, manners are a life skill as far as I'm concerned. We were always expected to say "Thank You" as kids and managed it most of the time despite being excited.

To use the lab in the park analogy, I do know that my lab will be over stimulated at the dog park. However, he is still expected to come when called, leave it when I tell him to, etc, and manages it most of the time. If my super-crazy-wiggly-excited dog can do what is expected of him in an over stimulating situation most of the time a child without underlying issues can.

I love my street. I havent had a trick or treater in 10 years since I moved here.

Last trick or treaters I remember where middle schoolers, no costumes, and mcdonalds bags for the candy. I had my exterior light off. I dont miss city life.

Bre I bet I would hit off with your kids. I dont get along with kids whose parents **** me off.

Who has the pics of me with Grammy's Nash?

In all my years of handing out Halloween candy, I have yet to meet a really rude kid. I don't care if teenagers come to the door either as long as it's before 9. We probably get 2 or 3 teenagers total anyway and only about 100 kids in total. The kids usually come in flocks so if 1 didn't say thank-you I probably wouldn't notice anyway. If people are so concerned about a kid saying thank-you, then just shut off your light and don't do Halloween. Life is too short to get your panties in a wad about getting a Thank-you from a kid you gave a piece of candy to.

Don't know, but I'd love to see that!

We buy some full sized candy bars and some of the cheaper mixed candy...the full sized bars goes to kids we know and like, the kids in the neighborhood who we know have it rough, and the kids who are super cute and super polite.

When hoards of screaming 9 year olds with the same costumes and snotty little attitudes who probably don't even live around here come, they get the boring candy. We're still nice to them and let them take a handful, whether or not they say thank you.

I was a terribly shy child with strangers, but I always said please and thank you. That's just how my parents raised me. Neither my sister and her husband, my parents or I will be participating in Halloween this year. I live in an apartment with maybe 3 kids in the complex. My sister and her husband's neighborhood has gotten progressively worse so they prefer not to. My parents neighborhood is a little bit nicer (its a gated community) and they get vanfulls of kids from all these other places. Last year there were over 300+ kids and only about 20 of them were actually from their neighborhood. The children are mostly fine. Their parents not so much. Where I grew up, the parents didn't put on a costume and go door to door with their kids. I'm sorry. If you're old enough to have a job and kids, you don't need free candy. The teenagers are always self-entitled and demand more. Or they would switch masks and come back like they hadn't been there yet.

If there was a special needs child of course we would be polite. If its a three year old, I'm not going to expect eye contact or please and thank you's. But I would expect a thank you from an 8 year old that can form complete sentences, talk, laugh, joke with their friends and skip back to their parents talking about what kind of candy they got. I'm sorry, but this is just how I feel.

We used to let the kids just take their own, but since moving to this coast of Florida we make up goodie bags to pass out.

My kids are very shy, and just started saying it last year... and still, not always. We haven't had any bad experience though... but yes I remind them to say thank you if they forget.

I have a good friend who is 21 went trick or treating on Saturday in her town. She has a disability. I just hope nobody was rude to her, she is a very sweet person. We don't pass out candy here, since nobody comes to our house. But I know I'd be accepting of anyone.

I hope everyone is as mindful about responding with "you're welcome" when each child says thank you. I can't tell you how many times hannah says TY and gets no response from te adult. Usually as we are walking away Hannah says "I said thank you and they didn't say you're welcome". LOL

I work in a bakery and we get a lot of kids, with and without parents coming in. Some kids have just wonderful manners, others are just simply too young to remember in my opinion - still learning, others are too excited lol. But really, kids are rarely down-right rude. Very rarely. I got called hopeless by a 12 year old boy once because I didn't have the flavour of pie he wanted. His mother was there and didn't even pull him up on it. If I was mum, he would've been made to apologise and he wouldn't have received his pie at all. He was rude and he should've known better.

But by far, the rudest customers are all adults. I had someone try to communicate through pointed and gestures whilst on their mobile the other day. Didn't really smile or acknowledge my existence except to point at bread and then waste my time because I had to wait for them to notice that I had finished getting their bread before they fixed up the transaction. So self-absorbed. But I'm off-topic now!

As a child care professional I find this thread VERY interesting...

How very true!

as a child care professional, and parent of a (now) adult with a significant disability, I find it interesting and disheartening. Always amazes me how people can so easily judge others--parenting neuro-typical children isn't easy. Parenting a child with special needs is challenging. Put parenting both groups of children together, try to meet the needs of all of them, and be one person doing it (even if you have a spouse--doesn't mean they can be there helping if they are working)--and especially on a day that is supposed to be FUN? Wow--Breeze--I learned early to use sign language with my daughter--even if she didn't understand it, people watching "got" that she had some different needs.
I hope you guys have a good halloween. I know my 20 year old has been asking for weeks to go out trick or treating--and she will.

I didnt think to do that. I know he wont do it. We are still TRYING to find a communication tech he will use. I figured he would like PECT but he has no interest and no attention span for ASL.

once you get started with therapy--it will come.

Oh I know. We will get answers on Halloween actually. cant wait to get his plan done its been LONG awaited.

This as well. You want kids to have manners treat them with manners. I say Please, Excuse me and everything to my children because they deserve to be shown the same respect others expect to be given.


Believe me you have no clue how nice that is to hear. Ive lost quite a few friends since Morgans dx because they dont want to deal with THAT kid. Yet they act jsut like him and have no excuse

I find this thread kind of disheartening that people are so 'it's a kid get over it'. Adults can have the exact same issues.

Like I've said before not only is saying thank you polite, for someone like me it LETS ME KNOW that an interaction is over. I literally cannot tell when one is over. For most people someone walking off means it's over. For me I don't know if they are going to turn around and say something, is the parent going to say hi or thank you? if so should I even close the door yet because I don't want to cut someone off.

For you with kids who do have disabilities or communication issues I really hope that when they are adults people are nicer and more respectful to them than you are to the adults with some of the same problems right now while yours are kids.