Something my cousin posted on FB about Halloween

darkchild16

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#1
With Halloween upon us, please keep in mind, a lot of little people will be visiting your home. Be accepting. The child who is grabbing more than one piece of candy may have poor fine motor skills. The child who takes forever to pick out one piece of candy may have motor planning issues. The child who does not say "trick or treat" or "thank you" may be non-verbal. The child who looks disappointed when they see your bowl, might have an allergy. The child who isn't wearing a costume at all might have a sensory issue (SPD) or autism. Be nice. Be patient. Its everyone's Halloween.
 

CaliTerp07

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#2
What about the 16 year old "child" who shows up with no costume on and says, "Really? That's it? Your candy sucks," and grabs a fistful before walking away? That was last year.

I'm going to go all "Modern Family" on them if it happens this year :D

http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/modern-family/video/PL5520993/_m_VD55242118

The little guys I totally take pity on. But anyone over the age of 12 or so better be dressed up and polite! Halloween is for small children. If you're going to participate as a teenager, you'd better participate--not just be begging for free candy.
 

Tortilla

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#3
What about the 16 year old "child" who shows up with no costume on and says, "Really? That's it? Your candy sucks," and grabs a fistful before walking away? That was last year.
Happens here all the time. It's been super awkward handing out candy to people my own age. Most of the time they're not dressed up or appreciative and just walk around with a massive pillowcase full of candy. One time a couple girls from my brother's grade came around (not dressed up of course) and he was like 'wtf, aren't you a little old to be trick or treating?' They were so uncomfortable it was hilarious. They would have been about eighteen or nineteen.

But yeah, we're always patient with the kids. My mother and brother are into Halloween way more than I am, so they deal with that. :)
 

Jules

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#4
Or the parents who go trick or treating with their 6 month old baby. Because you know, the infant really enjoys the candy.
 

darkchild16

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#5
Im sorry but comparing those people to what the message is about really is NOT funny. You have no clue how many people have been downright rude to me and/or Morgan because he will NOT say Please or Thank you. For a while I tried to prompt him to but its not doing anything to help him and just frustrating me more and really made interactions between him and others painful for me. Now I get dirty looks because I dont prompt him when its useless and discourages us both more. Ive had people downright call me lazy for not teaching him manners.

I'm not saying thats how yall act in that case but making light of it just stings. Maybe I am touchy about it but it's a big deal to our family. I've had quite a few sleepless nights lately about Halloween. I have one whos terrified of people trying to scare her and one who god knows how he will act.

If I could I would skip it but I have a 4 year old who has been asking everyone for trick or treat for the past month or so....
 

milos_mommy

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#6
Maybe this is something people should consider every day, and not just on Halloween ;)

As far as older kids going out trick or treating on Halloween, I could care less. If they're coming to your house for candy with no costume at 2pm, that's kind of obnoxious, but if they're showing up at 8 or 9 at night when most of the little ones are winding down and most people have PLENTY of left over candy, who cares? If they're knocking on my door asking for candy, it means they're not getting drunk and driving through my neighborhood or vandalizing houses or assaulting other kids.

Here, it's not at all uncommon for kids to trick-or-treat into their earlier college days...18 or 19, even 20.
 

milos_mommy

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#7
Or the parents who go trick or treating with their 6 month old baby. Because you know, the infant really enjoys the candy.
My mom buys little boxes of animal crackers or bagged cookies for the infants and really little toddlers. I think in that case it's more for the parents to show off their kid's cuteness and get out of the house than it is for trick-or-treating
 

darkchild16

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#8
My mom buys little boxes of animal crackers or bagged cookies for the infants and really little toddlers. I think in that case it's more for the parents to show off their kid's cuteness and get out of the house than it is for trick-or-treating
this. Plus sometimes you dont want to wait the next year to do the fun parent/kid stuff LOL. We took Bev her first Halloween but we didnt actually go up to houses we just walked around with her and she had a good time even for a 7-8 mth old.
 

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#9
Do you have people in your area who know Morgan and would be understanding that you could visit with the kids? It is awful that anyone would react that way to a child, but as you clearly have seen, it happens. The kids pretty much get a free ride here; my mother was an elementary school teacher and is unfailingly patient with them. It's Halloween - I'm not sure I'd even assume there was something 'different' about a kid who didn't react as we expect. So many kids seem overwhelmed or wound up or stressed.

The little guys I totally take pity on. But anyone over the age of 12 or so better be dressed up and polite! Halloween is for small children. If you're going to participate as a teenager, you'd better participate--not just be begging for free candy.
We had two boys last year or the year before who were at least 16. My mother still politely held out the bowl of full-sized chocolate bars she hands out. One of the boys asked "Is that your dog?" pointing behind her. When she glanced back, they grabbed huge handfuls and ran down the street. A$$holes like that aren't even remotely in the same ballpark as kids who really just need a bit of patience and understanding, obviously.

First time in my life I'd wished Meg were a Mal or something. I'd have opened the door and let her run after them.
 
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#10
Its hard...my daughter, well she has issues saying please, thank you, etc. She can be very shy and anxious but it comes across as rude and spoiled:( It can be so hard when other people judge having no idea what is actually going on.

My one brother still trick or treats...he is 28. He is very short but with full goatee does not look like a child even though mentally he is. He can only walk to a couple houses to luckily they know him but still.....people sometimes suck. Its cheap candy, just give it out:)
 

darkchild16

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#11
Do you have people in your area who know Morgan and would be understanding that you could visit with the kids? It is awful that anyone would react that way to a child, but as you clearly have seen, it happens. The kids pretty much get a free ride here; my mother was an elementary school teacher and is unfailingly patient with them. It's Halloween - I'm not sure I'd even assume there was something 'different' about a kid who didn't react as we expect. So many kids seem overwhelmed or wound up or stressed.



We had two boys last year or the year before who were at least 16. My mother still politely held out the bowl of full-sized chocolate bars she hands out. One of the boys asked "Is that your dog?" pointing behind her. When she glanced back, they grabbed huge handfuls and ran down the street. A$$holes like that aren't even remotely in the same ballpark as kids who really just need a bit of patience and understanding, obviously.

First time in my life I'd wished Meg were a Mal or something. I'd have opened the door and let her run after them.
Not really the friend we do have is going with us but we are going in her parents neighborhood which is gated and hopefully since there wont be AS many kids it wont be so bad and its mostly older couples so *fingers crossed* if not him and I will hang back at the houses and Bev can go with my friend.
 

HayleyMarie

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#12
This will my our first year of having kids come to our door, ever. I am super excited. I have no issues of 16 year old's coming to my door. I will have an issue with 18-20 year old coming to my door, although at that point I am sure we will just invite them it to party. Since we are having a party at our place that night. ha ha

Breeze, I see where you are coming from and I think we need to make a mental note that there are all different kind of people and children in the world and not to judge.
 

darkchild16

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#13
This will my our first year of having kids come to our door, ever. I am super excited. I have no issues of 16 year old's coming to my door. I will have an issue with 18-20 year old coming to my door, although at that point I am sure we will just invite them it to party. Since we are having a party at our place that night. ha ha

Breeze, I see where you are coming from and I think we need to make a mental note that there are all different kind of people and children in the world and not to judge.

I told Jeremy if someone offers me a beer or something I might not be able to turn it down after that night. 3 kids under 5. Morgan and Bevs seperate issues. Alone.

So far he hasnt been able to get out of working for Halloween since hes the ONLY one that can do it apparently :rolleyes:
 

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#14
Good grief people! Its friggin’ candy. Give it out or not but if you’re going to give it out don’t bitch about *how* it is taken. If its that big of a deal turn the light out and go to a movie.
Halloween is already one of the weirdest cultural phenomenons out there as it is. I mean are we really arguing over how old you have to be or how in or not in costume you have to be to have the “privilege” of receiving candy?

If people would mind their own kids and their own business....

This sounds way snarkier than I mean it to... Its just seriously... in a nation as privileged as we are where people pass out literally BILLIONS of dollars worth of free candy, its seems a bit... superfluous (?) irrelevant (?) persnickety (?) to worry about whether or not people act sufficiently grateful for it.
 

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#15
Couldn't you go to like a trunk or treat?

Not saying that your kids shouldn't get to go. But a lot of times those are put on by churches and schools and they're usually a little more understanding.

And I get it. I have aspergers. If I open the door and the kid doesn't even say trick or treat and just holds out a bag I give them candy and it's fine. I had trouble even saying trick or treat when I was little because I didn't want a strangers attention or eye contact.

But if I get a kid who says trick or treat is super enthusiastic and then doesn't say thank you it does come across as rude. They were open enough to do that for candy but not polite enough to say it once they got it.

And around here it isn't odd to see older kids/teens/adults trick or treating. My town is VERY good to the mentally disabled and they all still go trick or treating. I know one guy who is probably in his thirties but still loves to dress up and get candy and talk to people.

Also we buy full candy bars so we hand them out because fingers crossed there will be left overs.
 

darkchild16

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#16
Couldn't you go to like a trunk or treat?

Not saying that your kids shouldn't get to go. But a lot of times those are put on by churches and schools and they're usually a little more understanding.

And I get it. I have aspergers. If I open the door and the kid doesn't even say trick or treat and just holds out a bag I give them candy and it's fine. I had trouble even saying trick or treat when I was little because I didn't want a strangers attention or eye contact.

But if I get a kid who says trick or treat is super enthusiastic and then doesn't say thank you it does come across as rude. They were open enough to do that for candy but not polite enough to say it once they got it.

And around here it isn't odd to see older kids/teens/adults trick or treating. My town is VERY good to the mentally disabled and they all still go trick or treating. I know one guy who is probably in his thirties but still loves to dress up and get candy and talk to people.

Also we buy full candy bars so we hand them out because fingers crossed there will be left overs.
I tried to talk Bev into it but she wants to go do the "real thing" so we are going to try it. He wouldnt get out of the wagon at the trunk or treat we went to last year though. He jsut sat there and stared.

Morgan will run up and smile but he is nonverbal with strangers.
 

yoko

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#18
This sounds way snarkier than I mean it to... Its just seriously... in a nation as privileged as we are where people pass out literally BILLIONS of dollars worth of free candy, its seems a bit... superfluous (?) irrelevant (?) persnickety (?) to worry about whether or not people act sufficiently grateful for it.
I think not being grateful for what you have is a HUGE problem in this country. The line has been blurred so bad people can't even list what a necessity is and want is.

This is a holiday where other people willingly give gifts to strangers and it's pretty scary how ungrateful people are for that. It's pretty sad to see how many people don't say please or thank you and are passing it on to their kids. I'm not saying they need to bow down and kiss the candy givers feet but there is a GIANT sense of entitlement in some of the parents and kids where they think they deserve ALL OF THE CANDIES!

Obviously there are kids and people who can't and that's fine but parents and kids DO comment on not getting the candy they want and I think people need to be more polite in that respect too. Maybe they couldn't afford the name brandy candy. Maybe they went trick or treating with their kids earlier and are using that candy since they had absolutely no money to buy candy at all but still wanted their kids to get to go trick or treating and hand out candy.

tl;dr both sides need to be a little more polite and the problem would be solved.

And if someone walks up with an infant we just say we don't have any infant appropriate candy and most of the time the parents are cool.
 

darkchild16

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#19
See I say Thank You for Morgan and prompt Bev to remember and she says one of the two at least. Shes still working on getting it right if she doesnt have to say Please first LOL. Shes told people Please after being handed something quite a bit and I have to tell her we say the OTHER words you know and she goes OH Thank You!!!

Jess Jeremy was ready to go and everything (even had a costume picked out :cool: ) and we find out its weds and they wont let him work the day shift. He HAS to be the one closing :wall:
 

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#20
I guess my issue is, who decides what “acting grateful” looks like? If I see a kid out there having fun who maybe forgets the “thank you” because he’s too busy enjoying the moment, checking out the spooky decorations, who cares?! Its a kid. He’s having fun. Enjoy his enthusiasm and energy vicariously! So what that he didn’t say thank you?
Its not like we’re forced to participate in Halloween.
Don’t like how people act? Don’t participate. Problem solved.

I’m buying candy for my classes to hand out to the special ed kids when they come visit on Wednesday, and donated some good stuff to the trunk o treat at the elementary school.
My kids will go to a couple trunk o treats and then to their friends’ neighborhood since those of us who live in the boonies have to drive in to town to play candy nabbing ghouls. They eat less than half of the candy they get and we will donate the rest to the local safe home.
And though they say thank you most of the time, I don’t monitor them that closely since I’m too busy chit chatting with other mom friends and the people we visit.
 

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