Somethings gotta give (morgan and eating)

For about the last 2 months getting him to eat a meal in one place without being policed has been a nightmare. They eat at their own table these days since I still havent decided on a big table I want and I usually dont get to eat until Jeremy gets home. He got to pick it out, he picks out his dinner, he picks out his plate and spoon (not that he uses the spoon). He throws a fit if I force him to sit in one place (like full on sensory issue tantrum). We borrowed a full size folding table from a friend and ate a family dinner there one night to see if that changed anything and even eating at the same table he acted that way and pissed Savannah off because she had to be in her swing/bouncer and it was just hell.

If hes not doing that hes pouring his drink on his or Bevs plate unless I put it in a sippy cup. I just want ONE night of not telling him to sit down and eat or dont spill your drink, or the million things I have to tell him to get him to eat and thats IF he eats.

Im just worn out just from THIS fight with him. He hasnt seen a therapist yet because lets face it we are in S. Ga nothing happens here in a decent time frame.

Ugh that sounds like a nightmare. The only way I got my kids to sit for meals (Chris really, Lisa never had an issue) was to remove his plate and say he was done because he got up. Tips helps also though, if he leaves the table his food will usually get snarfed in 2 seconds.

We used sippies until the kids were 3 or something, or it was a disaster.

Briggs does this too. I'm in a managment stage with him as I am totally clueless on what to do. I have the mind set of "pick the hill I want to die on"... so Briggs simply doesn't sit at the table. I put food for him in a container on his toy kitchen. Maybe not the finest parenting strategy but it gets us through the date with one less meltdown.

Hes fine with a regular cup when its not meal time so we are thinking its the stress of sitting down and eating. Weve tried the taking his plate away and his tantrums got worse because he is hungry and just ugh. He REALLY needs to get into a Autism therapist but Im dealing with Babies Cant Wait and they only come to my area once a week and hes low on the totem pole because hes so young "its not a big deal yet" then on top of it the process is just we had to fill out paper work, then they need to meet him, THEN they send him a hour away for a eval, THEN they decide who will work for us/him and FINALLY after all that we can start with a therapist.

It wouldnt be so bad for us if he didnt end up dropping most of it and we have thick carpet Thankfully the new place we are moving into has a screened in porch so I might let him lose out there to eat :rofl1:

Briggs dumps his cup everywhere too. Our boys sound so similar. Vent to me if oyu need to. I may not have suggestions but I understand. <3

Yeah he probably reacts differently to everything. Is he too old for Early Intervention? Not that it would help with this problem but maybe they could give some hints.

i know mama <3 Thanks. Our boys are lucky to have mamas that arent neat freaks :rofl1:

My carpet has had everything you can imagine on it. We had to invest in a carpet cleaner but there are stains that will probably not go away...

Thats what we are in the middle of getting him into but I live in S. GA the town Im closest too doesnt even have a dr that works with Autism. On top of that the only "group therapy" they have you have to pay for a dr visit to a specialist or get insurance to pay for it. Well the insurance wont pay for it until he gets a evaluation. The dr wont evaluate him this young with him being a referall from EI

We have one but Jeremy decided to rug dr this week until waiting to rent one when we move in a week it wasnt so bad when I could just steam clean it but I dont want to have to rent a Rug Dr again in the next week.

We do not do regular cups with Clive just yet, sippy cups or straw cups only. He does eat at his own little table, but I usually eat there with him. Usually because we share a plate so he'll eat. Picky, picky child He eats all of his snacks there now, his choice.

If a kid could live off of yogurt and apples we'd be set...

That sounds really hard. The faster they get him evaluated and in to a specialist the better.

When I worked in the respite center/daycare there was one boy that started as an infant, and it became clear as he moved into toddlerhood that he had a lot of sensory issues. We actually dealt with a lot of sensory stuff with various kids.

A couple of things, making it a big dramatic thing will make the issue a million times worse. Yeah, you don't let them just run around out of control and throw food at the walls, but you don't need to physically restrain them at the table and force feed them. NOT saying you do any of that, just in general. Mostly just having basic reasonable rules like sitting down. If they get up, just quietly remove their plate and let them have it back once they settle again, that sort of thing. If they can't settle possibly getting a seat belted high chair or something.

The one kid ate in a high chair until he was about three. He had a favorite favorite plate, and if he didn't get it Oh. My. Gosh. Epic tantrum and no eating EVER. lol.

When he finally got old enough to talk it made a huge difference. When I was finally able to ask why he needed the green plate, he calmly explained that the pink and blue plates made his food taste weird. Okay. And that was our first clue that the kid also had synesthesia because it turns out colors really do affect the flavor of his food. It was fascinating.

He also had major problems at nap time and finally was able to tell us that the cartoon fish on his sheets freaked him out because they were bugeyed.

Is Morgan very verbal? Maybe asking him will give you some clues to help manage his behavior.

It's so hard to even suggest anything without knowing him, because all children react to different sensory experiences differently. Is he sensitive to noise? Or lights? Dimming the lights and putting in soothing music helped when I had a boy with autism in my preschool class (actually two different boys, two seperate school years). For some reason, they really responded well to very very low 'soothing harp' music. The harsh lighting changed behavior pretty dramatically. I now have lamps in my classroom if I need them instead of the florescent ones.
So, what I did was I set the timer and I would say "in 5 minutes we are going to sit for lunch" and I would start the music. Sometimes, this is when my boys would shake the sillies out or get the crazies out or self sooth, whichever they needed to do.
I have a visual timer, I set it for 5 minutes and when the red goes away the 5 minutes are up. Then I would dim the lights, we would wash hands, and have a seat, and I would set the timer again to show how long we are sitting for. The visual timer really seems to help, and they can see it going down they can refocus and I try to help them learn patience.

Like I said, the music and the lights worked for those two (gee it works for me even LOL), but might not work for sweet Morgan. Maybe the chair/table/ everyone sitting together is too confrontational for him? You know what could be fun? Maybe a picnic on a blanket in the floor!
Sitting "criss-cross-appesauce" (oh for the days when we called it indian style lol) can be centering.
Reminds me of the weighted vests and all that, I think we talked about all that before? For some weird reason this reminds me of the parent that I had last year - her boy has issues with texture of foods - she literally can not get him to eat hardly ever. I mean, he hardly gets the bare minimum to keep him going - they find a food that he'll eat and thats all hell have for months,and then out of nowhere he''ll stop liking that, too. All it takes is for it to not be the right temperature one time, or an "off"flavor and that's that. He's very very thin and pale all of the time, I share her worries!

Well, I'll quit now before this turns into a novel that makes NO sense what so ever its late but (((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))) to you, you are an awesome Mom and you have incredible patience, hats off to you. Just remember to take deep breaths and be consistent, routine and predictability always works best with these guys

I don't have a lot of time to get into the reasons for my thoughts/suggestions--but you know I am an OT who works with preschoolers with special needs...so, I'd start with the basics of what the seating/table height are like. Do his feet touch the floor, can you find a chair that has sides to it?
Do you have a routine time for meals, or does it change?
I know he likes the baby carrier--deep pressure seems to be his calming tool. You might try giving him some real strong hugs BEFORE he is expected to sit and eat. You could also try making a weighted lap pad--fill an old pillow case with dry rice (make sure it is really closed securely)--and let him hold this on his lap during seated time.
There are other sensory supports/strategies--but without knowing if Morgan's issues are sensory, or behavior/communication based--or change/both dependent on the situation/environment--it's hard to give strategies that will work for him. Different things can calm one child, while increasing undesired behaviors in another. And there are so many other contributing factors...
The sooner you can get someone in there, the better.

Ive thought of a weighted vest but I didnt want to invest the money before we knew for sure but making my own for his lap sounds like a good idea!

Hes barely verbal he knows maybe 60 words and they are all one word phrases. Juice, Go, Ball, Bye that kind of thing.

We have a routine, he throws a fit in highchairs worse then in a regular seat so we got rid of his. He does like Savannahs Bumbo chair and somehow fits in it I wonder if that on a regular chair would help... He does like to eat in his carrier but obviously I cant do that for every meal.

Its a kiddie table so he can reach the ground and its perfect height for him. I have some things I can try. Thanks ladies!!! I didnt think of alot of that! I just hope we can get a rush on getting him seen and some intervention.

It just makes me mad how the system fails our kids sometimes. I hope you get that eval soon and he gets the services he needs. I don't know how it works over there, but here he would probably qualify for the Head Start service thing at 3, and be able to go to school and still get therapy at 3. That would help a lot.

And don't get me started on insurance. Our denied Lisa's speech therapy, even though she really needed it.

Yes he would and where we are moving before school starts has a GREAT autism program. Jeremys best friend is actually a special ed teacher in that system and knows most of the Head Start teachers that he would have.

Its just UGH. I hate where I live its BFE.

I don't have any advice, but good luck! Early intervention and finding a therapist or doctor that you really trust is going to be a HUGE help.

You also might want to look into some kind of support groups for parents of special needs kids, even if they aren't led by a doctor, the other parents might know of good resources and be able to make recommendations.

Ive tried to find one and the only thing they have is over the phone support from one parent or I have to drive a hour or so away.