Small update on grandfather

He's apparently losing it - yet at the same time, not really.

The lines are very blurred between his deception and his true disorientation. Dad says he will act all strange and creepy with one person at a certain moment - then turn around to another person and say that he was "just pretending" the next and explain in extreme clarity what he was saying or trying to achieve.

He is consistently talking about acquisition of property, bizarre incidents of contact with various people, and mentioning the harming or destruction of animals and dogs at least twice according to my dad.

I've carried on with life pretty...erm...well. It's hard not to still feel hurt by what he did in the past/memories - meetings with him have completely come to a halt since my previous thread. I'm happy I don't have to contend with seeing or fighting with him - it's a great weight off my chest.

Whatever is going on in his head and his situation I wish him only the best and alot of peace for however much longer he may be around.

I'm sorry Stephy... *hugs* that is so sad.

It's good that you have given yourself a break from the stress & abuse of the relationship. And you should NOT feel bad at all about that, because you tried, and you care, and that is so much more than most people do. So many people forget about their grandparents and don't see them, even when they're perfectly cognizant and healthy. You tried and he drove you away. No matter the mental issues going on, you should never have to endure verbal abuse! It's super sad that he is having problems. Is he in a nursing home? It sounds like that might be a safer place for him.

I agree completely.

And I'm really sorry you have all this turmoil. It has to be quite disturbing to know that something is going so wrong in his brain. ((((HUGS))))

I'm glad you took a step back instead of continued to visit him it's hard to deal with people when they start losing themselves like that.

I stand by what I said in the other thread I think he is pretty close to completely gone. I don't think he is purposely deceiving anyone and that it is easier to tell people that than to admit he just doesn't remember or understand why he has done things.

Thanks all,

I'm unsure what to make of him; I can't readily take the notion that he's just completely lost it after our history and knowing him...he's supremely manipulative and I just really can't help but suspect he has some sort of motives up his sleeves, like I said - whatever it is exactly. I only wish him peace...

I watched Charley's mother pull some of the cruelest stunts on him, pretending to be losing it, then laughing at him when he'd leave after falling apart. Distance is about the only thing you can do.

Why are some old folk like this?? One would think that towards the end of their lives/in a state of decline they'd mellow out abit or at least try to make peace with themselves, if not others.

I've come to believe that the older we get, the more essentially ourselves we become.

Sure, there are exceptions for various reasons, and sometimes people undergo a sea change, but overall it's been a reliable baseline.

Like my mother, lol. If she were a dog, she'd have been humanely put down long ago for severe temperament issues.

It's difficult to grasp that someone could knowingly and cognizantly act like your grandfather is doing, especially if you've never witnessed something similar, and if that kind of behavior is foreign to your own nature.

Well, who are we anyways? I personally don't believe there's a definitive answer to that question. There are facets of a personality one can describe, but, who entirely are we? placed in a totally foreign and objective situation we all would probably react in some kind of unpredictable, out-of-the-blue way. We're not the same person at 90 as we are right now; nor are we the same person now as we were when we were toddlers or in our mid teens.

I think if my family were dogs most of us would have been culled a long time ago for unfixable behavioral issues lol

Whatever the case - I wish him well, and hope he is safe and achieves peace sometime soon.