Probably a Wasted Weekend (rant)

A few weeks ago two of my cousins call me to say that they have some time off work, and they are taking a road trip through my neck of the woods. Would I mind if they stayed with us for a weekend, we could hang out and catch up? (This is a part of the family that is two states away and we rarely see. We all grew up together, but since childhood, well, that's been about it other than Facebook.) Great!, I say, let's make this work! This will be fun! So for the last 2-3 weeks we've been in contact making plans, coming up with things they'd like to see here around town, made a menu plan for the weekend, cleaned the house, etc.

Fast forward to last night. They are on the way, supposed to arrive sometime after dinner. A couple hours before we are expecting them, I get a text from them that basically says, "Your brother invited us to something that sounds more fun, so we are staying with him instead."

Seriously???

Now, my feelings are hurt. Really hurt. On the other hand, my husband is furious. I don't blame him at all.

I don't blame my brother, either. I had called him a few days ago to tell him our cousins where coming, and also to find out if he was free to join us for any of our activities today (Saturday). I knew he had something going on last night (he actually invited me several weeks ago, before I knew the cousins were coming, but since the event was 9pm-2am it didn't really work out with the baby schedule. lol), so we just touched bases for Saturday (today) and that was it. No issues there.

However, I also know that before yesterday that neither cousin had talked to him, so they literally had to have spontaneously called him out of the blue. He would have invited him to this event out of politeness. Not his fault. The timing of it sucks, but he can't help that.

My issue is with the cousins. Really? I have been more than accommodating and you guys just ditch us? It's not even that they wanted to go to this thing, it was just the flat-out discarding of all the work I had put into them staying here.

Why couldn't they have called to say, "Hey, we found out about this other thing, and we would really like to go. How can we work this out with our other plans?"

But no.

Now, fast forward to today. It's almost noon, and I haven't heard from any of them since that text yesterday evening. My husband went ahead and left to play racquetball with his group, which he wasn't planning to do with company here, BUT now he just had to blow the steam out. Again, I don't blame him. As for me, maybe it's petty, but I just don't feel like calling them up to beg them to know what's going on now. I'm still pretty hurt by last night, and while I don't want to make a scene about it, I'm not terribly motivated to go out of my way for them anymore, either.

Basically, I'm sitting here at home while the baby naps, wondering at what point my cousins are going to call and either (a) ask me what is going on, (b) command me to be somewhere, or (c) just show up at my front door expecting me to entertain them.

This weekend was supposed to be fun. I'm glad I put so much energy into planning it.


Now this IS petty, but the angry side of me takes joy in knowing that my SIL has been equally blindsided with people staying at her house, and she didn't have the luxury of time to plan where to keep these people and feed them. Plus, I made awesome biscuits and gravy from scratch this morning, and my cousins missed out on it.

i dont think you are being petty at all. I think what your cousins did was very rude, and you have the right to be ticked off. I sure would be.

It was very rude of them, and you're completely justified to feel hurt by their actions.

I hope you're able to find something equally amusing to do this weekend

Thanks. It's good to know that I'm not wildly out of line in my reaction here.

Still haven't heard anything from them. Wonder if I'll even see them this weekend after all...

No, I would be pissedoff and I wouldn't be silent about it. Sounds like you are being much nicer than I would be Max Then again, I wouldn't walk across the street to see the majority of my family members, but if it were the select few I do like I would be LIVID!

Wow yeah, that's really really REALLY rude. And I completely get you being hurt. I think you need to take your son out and go do something fun the two of you. Get you out of the house.

When I was younger (like middle schoolish) I was having party with a few close friends for my birthday and the day of my best friend and a few of the people (it was small so a few meant most of them) called up to say they got invited to go do something more fun so they weren't going to come. I was SO hurt. I think I spent the afternoon crying.

But yeah, pretty much that's really really sucky, no one deserves that and shame on them

That's extremely rude of them. I'm sorry. :[

My husband and I went out to a restaurant (attached to a microbrewery) and had a grand ol' time once we found out they weren't coming last night. LOL!


Unless they try to pin this on me somehow, I'll just bite my tongue this weekend and remember a lesson learned for the future. Next time they say, "Hey, can we come down to visit again on such and such weekend?"... well... We'll just say I'll already have other plans. Sorry! I am completely prepared to remain civil for the remainder of this weekend, though, as long as they allow it.

If they do try to make a deal about this weekend with me, however, the silence will be broken.

Cousins can suck. My cousin was meant to drive me to my wedding and walk my mother down the isle. He never arrived. Just flat out didn't come. No sorry, no hey, I'm not coming, nothing. So I feel your pain.

When Justin wakes up from his nap we are going to walk down to the little park and play on the swings, I think. In the heat of the moment, my husband took the car that has the carseat in it, so where ever I go has to be in walking distance. Whoops!

Sorry to hear about your party. That really stinks. I would have been devastated had that happened to me at that age.

I really wasn't expecting to receive middle school behavior from my grown cousins.


Thanks. Again, I'm glad to hear that I'm not overreacting to this. Still struggling with how the rest of this weekend could pan out... I really don't like being in limbo like this.

Wow. I suppose I can be thankful that the at least sent me a crappy text message. There would been NO silence on my part if they just didn't show up without any word whatsoever.

I'm so sorry about the situation on your wedding day! That is probably as bad as it gets, right there.

Homemade biscuits and gravy?! I can be there in 3 hours!

Seriously though, that's very rude--you have every right to be hurt and angry.

Ha! Their ears must be burning, because I just got a text from them. Want to know what they said? "We're just sitting here at your brother's house playing Guitar Hero. Wondering when you wanted to come hang out with us."

Does that fall under my prediction of (a) or (b)? LOL!
(I laugh, because this is all so stupid that at this point I just need to choose whether I'm amused or pissed off. It's both, but I'll laugh.)


By all means! LOL! There isn't much gravy left (only made a half-batch, for obvious reasons), but I can heat up what is here!

Yeah that would royally **** me off.

I hope you told them you were doing something else.

Incredibly rude of them. Beyond rude.

I basically put the ball in their court. Told them we made other plans this for lunch since we didn't know what was going on. Left it open ended.

If they want to make a decision and invite us to join them this afternoon, they can make those plans. Then I'll decide if it sounds fun enough.

Okay, I'll probably go just to save face. Like I said, I'm counting this weekend as a lesson in how to avoid future headaches, but I can still try to be civil this time around since they did make the drive. (With the way things have gone down, I have to admit now I'm surprised they've made it this far.)

Yeah... that is the conclusion I have also come to...

Their loss, though, really.

Meh. Cr@pped him out a week after. So got his dues.
I don't blame you for keeping quiet and putting the ball in his court. I wrote my cousin a letter cr@pping him out 5 months ago and never heard a thing.

Justin crashed out for an early nap and they still didn't have a real plan. So I laid out what the dinner plan is ("We were be at this place at this time. See you there." Done.), and welcomed them to come over to our house in the meantime.

Strangely (translated: as expected and thankfully), they didn't think that coming to hang out at our house while the baby napped sounded very fun, either. So we will see them at dinner.

Or we won't see them at dinner, and we'll just have a great dinner at an awesome restaurant by ourselves. LOL

In any case. Win.

Like I said last night, you were much nicer than I would have been. Glad you are stil going with plans and enjoying your weekend

(((((hugs)))))