20 week abortions...

Dekka

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Blue.. then doctors need to take young women seriously when they want permanent solutions. I have a child (and whilst he is fantastic he was not at all planned) that came about ON PROTECTION. I was devastated when I found out I was pregnant! I had been saying since I was little I never wanted kids. Heck I never played with dolls... unless it was to stick them on a horse but then they were really props for the horses... no interest in babies.

I didn't have an abortion because that is not right for me. BUT I am one of those people who is firmly pro choice. For science reasons. I don't' think a 'potential' human has the same value as a full human. Any more than I think an egg or sperm has actual moral value. Once it becomes a feotus and can feel pain then I am less ok because its become a person vs a potential person.

And really women have more to deal with than men when it comes to issue with children. Until men have to take the same level of responsibility for siring a child I don't think they should have much of a leg to stand on. I do agree in an ideal world they should get a say. But its too easy for them to walk away, a woman can't walk away from what is growing inside her. The fear and pain is very real. And not just pain of childbirth. I lay in bed at nights near the end crying for want of sleep. I ached, I hurt inside and out and there was hubby snoring away blissfully unaware ;)

Some women have happy pregnancies, for other its hell. I don't think anyone should be forced into something that can be very much like torture because some politician said they had to.
 

Bailey08

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ETA: No point in responding. Both men and women want to hump without restrictions or penalties. I guess Im the exception, I would gladly take care of any child I father.
I suppose you will have to take personal responsibility not to "hump" anyone who you are not absolutely positive shares your exact same views on these matters.

Gosh, I tried to stay away from this thread!
 

yoko

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Blue.. then doctors need to take young women seriously when they want permanent solutions. I have a child (and whilst he is fantastic he was not at all planned) that came about ON PROTECTION. I was devastated when I found out I was pregnant! I had been saying since I was little I never wanted kids.
This is exactly what my friend has gone though. She got pregnant while on BC and her boyfriend wore a condom. She has NEVER wanted children. She couldn't get an abortion because she was too torn on her feelings on it. She is a great mom and loves her son but she is the first person to jump up and say she never wanted a child and was being responsible about it when she became pregnant. Not every female that ends up pregnant is just indiscriminately going around humping every available penis.

I am 25 and a virgin. It has nothing to do with my beliefs I literally have a phobia of carrying and giving birth to babies. I'm squeamish and as bad as I feel I am super nervous around any of my friends whenever they have been pregnant. I don't look down on any of them I just don't feel comfortable and no matter what I do or how much I expose myself to it, it is just something that freaks me out. I have no qualms about having sex but I want to know I WILL NOT HAVE CHILDREN. Not only does it freak me out I am in no situation even kind of close to take care of a child or myself if I'm pregnant. I have gone to the doctor and explained all of this. I'm willing to sign contracts saying I won't sue or change my mind but I want my tubes tied or ANYTHING that would be a permanent solution. Because of my age and NOT having any children yet I have not been able to find a doctor willing to do anything for me.

Are there times I want to get laid? HELL YES. But I absolutely cannot do it because in the back of my mind the chance of getting pregnant is too big. Three of my friends were on BC when they got pregnant and one like I said earlier was on BC and using a condom I may be paranoid but that's too many that I personally know.

Because of that and every doctor's total refusal to give me or any other female a permanent solution I will ALWAYS be pro choice.
 
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But precautions sometimes fail. They don't always work. Not everyone who gets pregnant and didn't want to was irresponsible or just opting not to use contraception. My issue with your logic is that someone can still get pregnant even when being responsible, so if I really never want to have kids the only way I can guarantee that is to abstain my entire life or get surgery/invasive treatment.
Contraception is never 100% effective, I made no claim it wasnt. If you really never want kids, talk to your partner and one of you gets clipped. IF you never want kids, you do what you have to or be responsible for the consequences.

Like I said before, protection does not always work. And there have been many cases, even on chaz, where people have gone in asking for a permanent solution and were denied because they were under the age of 30 and 'might change their mind'.
I have never said contraceptives are 100% effective, I know for a fact it isnt. Never said any different. My point is own up to you responsibilities for your actions.

Well that's easy for you to say, you wouldn't be the one risking your life or mental well-being, or having to actually give birth. You know, I like the idea of having a kid. For me it has nothing to do with not wanting to take care of it, and everything to do with my phobias (BII and tokophobia) and not wanting to actually carry and deliver a baby.
In your case there is always adoption.

And as for your other statement... I think most people who don't want kids would also like to have sex at some point in their lives, and I think its unfair to criticize and expect them to go their entire lives without ever experiencing intimacy at that level.
Who exactly have I criticized?

ETA: I should correct myself, men can obviously experience issues with their mental well-being over an unexpected pregnancy and child, I was just specifically thinking of people like me with medical phobias.
Phobia's are treatable. I have my own. Try to be less angry.
 
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This is exactly what my friend has gone though. She got pregnant while on BC and her boyfriend wore a condom. She has NEVER wanted children. She couldn't get an abortion because she was too torn on her feelings on it. She is a great mom and loves her son but she is the first person to jump up and say she never wanted a child and was being responsible about it when she became pregnant. Not every female that ends up pregnant is just indiscriminately going around humping every available penis.

I am 25 and a virgin. It has nothing to do with my beliefs I literally have a phobia of carrying and giving birth to babies. I'm squeamish and as bad as I feel I am super nervous around any of my friends whenever they have been pregnant. I don't look down on any of them I just don't feel comfortable and no matter what I do or how much I expose myself to it, it is just something that freaks me out. I have no qualms about having sex but I want to know I WILL NOT HAVE CHILDREN. Not only does it freak me out I am in no situation even kind of close to take care of a child or myself if I'm pregnant. I have gone to the doctor and explained all of this. I'm willing to sign contracts saying I won't sue or change my mind but I want my tubes tied or ANYTHING that would be a permanent solution. Because of my age and NOT having any children yet I have not been able to find a doctor willing to do anything for me.

Are there times I want to get laid? HELL YES. But I absolutely cannot do it because in the back of my mind the chance of getting pregnant is too big. Three of my friends were on BC when they got pregnant and one like I said earlier was on BC and using a condom I may be paranoid but that's too many that I personally know.

Because of that and every doctor's total refusal to give me or any other female a permanent solution I will ALWAYS be pro choice.
Maybe start with a psychiatrist. Im not saying you are crazy and need to be fixed, but that this is a legitimate psych issue that needs to be addressed. The psychiatrist may be able to get you on the fast track to get a permanent solution. Might be a good solution for T&M as well.

I dont know of another way to put it, but I dont think either of you are imbalanced, but if psychiatrists are starting children on the path to sexual reassignment they aught to be able to help an adult get spayed or neutered.

I have my own issues that have a permanent solution for a short term day to day problem, I will not take that solution. My issues are completely different.

Im all for personal responsibility and not a quick fix. Pro-life or Pro-Choice? Im neither.
 

puppydog

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Contraception is never 100% effective, I made no claim it wasnt. If you really never want kids, talk to your partner and one of you gets clipped. IF you never want kids, you do what you have to or be responsible for the consequences.



I have never said contraceptives are 100% effective, I know for a fact it isnt. Never said any different. My point is own up to you responsibilities for your actions.



In your case there is always adoption.



Who exactly have I criticized?



Phobia's are treatable. I have my own. Try to be less angry.
She isn't angry at all. Not from what I have picked up. Maybe you are angry?

Adoption is not an option for someone who fears being pregnant. You have to be pregnant and give birth before you can give a baby up for adoption.
 
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She isn't angry at all. Not from what I have picked up. Maybe you are angry?
In this thread? Not at all. I have no fears or phobias of becoming a father. I do fear having a child I may father aborted, since I am not likely to father a child with any of you, no issues.

ETA: I would never risk the life or well being of a woman I love if pregnancy was an issue. I would get snipped.

Adoption is not an option for someone who fears being pregnant. You have to be pregnant and give birth before you can give a baby up for adoption.
Adoption is a great option for a woman who wants to be a mother but has a phobia of being pregnant or being medically incapable of bearing children.
 

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