My mother makes me so mad......regarding my dogs....Any advice

How can I convince my mother that they are good dogs? (She refuses to see them) Any advice?

Okay so My mom has seen my dogs twice....last time she saw my dogs they were both under a year old.

Both dogs are almost two now. My mom was visiting with my grandmother the other day (we take the dogs to my grandparents a lot because they have a playmate there and lots of room to run) Dogs weren't there neither was I (I learned of all this from my grandmother)

Anyways my mom started talking about how ill behaved the dogs are and how she doesn't like them and they are too hyper and they just don't mind.....

She went on to say that My husband and I don't make them mind.

Well I have a Terrier (Sasha) and a Minature poodle (Zack) and both are high energy dogs......the two times she happened to see the dogs she stopped by unannounced and we were on our way out for a walk.

She said we need to train them.........Sasha has graduated top of her obedience class. Zack is starting classes in June

Our poodle Zack hopefully in the fall or by spring be starting agility an our Terrier impressed members of the police department, fire department, and the city council at dog day with her obedience and tricks.

Well my grandmother put her in her place about that and she bragged and bragged on my terrier....saying yes both dogs still get excited at first when they see someone but both obey their commands, and they don't jump on people. And my terrier calms down quicker than our poodle but she still requires more exercise than our poodle.


Anyways how can I prove to my mother they are good dogs if she refuses to see them?

(There has always been an excuse, I'm scared of big dogs, they are 12 and 23 pounds......i'm sorry they are bigger than her 4 pound dog, she used to play with huskies and lions....long story)

Any advice?

It wouldn't be such a big deal if she wasn't going around trying to tell people they are bad dogs......but she is and she doesn't even know them


Thanks


(I will admit Zack has some dog agression that we are working on but she hasn't seen him or even knows about that....infact the last time she saw him he was 8 months old and the last time she saw sasha she was 5 months old)


I just learned of this a few minutes ago when I talked to my grandma and I know I shouldn't let it get to me but she is telling family members that my dogs are bad....my dogs she hasn't seen since they were puppies....and it just irritates me so much.

You know

Some people can't warm up to certain breeds . Glad I like my granddogs !!!

My mom (and therefore many other family members) thinks my dogs are crazy and ill-mannered. But hey! It keeps my family from coming over, so I'm not complaining!

So I take it its a pretty common thing? I mean don't get me wrong I don't want my mom coming over.....I just wish she would A give the dogs a chance or just not comment on them

I can't help, but if she doesn't want to know them just let her know you would appreciate she leave the dogs out of her rants.

I am lucky my mom WUBS i mean IS IN LOVE with her grandpuppies, they actually were the reason she now has a dog...

So it is a tossup....only things you can do is speak up or say nothing

I did....I just talked to her a few minutes ago. She said she's entitled to her opinion and even though she hasn't seen them they couldn't have changed that much......oh well

maybe there are other issues you need to address.
my MIL told people my wife married me because i raped her (she is 9 years younger).

My mom does the oppisite. Brags about how well behaved my dogs are. Then if someone does come over and they are being themselves, misbehaving and having fun people are horrified beause they were under the impression my dogs were robots.

Take it for what it is. No use trying to change her mind if she's stuck in that mentality. Keep up the good work with your dogs. Maybe one day she will see them for what and who they areally are.

There are some people who can't be pleased. It's less about your dogs than it is about having something to rag on you about, I'd bet.

I'd say she's either made an ass of herself enough in the other family members' eyes by now that they blow it off anyway, or that the ones who believe her are the ones who are going to find fault anyway -- and gossip about it.

Blow it off, but take your opportunities to brag on their obedience work

I used to travel at least 3 times a year with Bubba to visit my Mom in her retirement home in Mississauga Ont. I think she loved seeing Bubba more than me ! Always made arrangements to have HER therapy dog visiting in the lounge . She always called him her guide dog as he matched her pace ( at 92 ) on her walker holding his leash . How she loved him !!!

Wow pops, that is ultra crappy. I can't believe people would spread rumors like that.

With the dogs, at least your grandma knows the truth and is outspoken about it. Hopefully her word is more highly valued than your mom's in the eyes of extended family.

Plus, for every family member that meets your dogs and realizes they are normal, sane animals that is one more family member who realizes that your mom is lying and making a fool out of herself.

My mom isn't a dog person, and when she comes to stay, she's accosted by two huge dogs She doesn't like my pair either, but I'm beginning to think that is just going to be how it is.

Romy
it's not that big a deal, i just say "ohh, bless her evil little heart" and that cracks my DW right up. she's pathological and everyone in her family knows it.

I guess I am blessed. My mom loves my entire crew, and adores having a couple sleep in her bed with her at night. She does do some minor complaining every now and then, if they all get to barking at the same time and the walls are vibrating, but that's usually about it. But my guys are typically very well behaved, and very well mannered (they have their moments though, LOL), so she's very accepting of them.

My advice, just ignore her.

My sisters dogs are absolute hooligans! I cannot stand them. But then again, she does not care.
She hates my dogs because they are small. I don't care either. That is the best way to deal with it.

Keep on doing what you're doing with them...as they learn more, they'll become very good ambasadors to dogs. The better trained they become, the more your mother will have to eat her words one day....especially when other family members see how wrong she is.

My Doberman was very well behaved, very obedient and behaved like a perfect gentleman when visiting my folk's house. He wasn't a robot though. When my mom was cooking and my Dad too, was in the kitchen, Lyric was standing there, just standing, watching them. He happened to be standing where my Dad wanted to walk. My Dad, old school, thinking you must use compulsive type interactions with dogs....spoke gruffly to Lyric...."get out of the way." Lyric just stood there like, "duh..." He didn't have a clue what my Dad meant. Then my Dad launched into me, "I don't like disobedient dogs." I said that he didn't know what you meant. What is it you want him to do? Then he ranted on..."I won't have a dog in my house that won't obey me." (awful!) I was p.o'd!!!! I told him if he wanted him to move aside, to simply say, "excuse me." (I trained Lyric to move to the side when I was walking toward him when I'd say, "excuse me" by tossing treats to the side while I gave the cue words.

Then I'd try to show my Dad what Lyric had learned...outside in his yard...things like heel, stay while I hid, backwards heel, the trick where Lyric would be heeling, then wait (sometimes in a sit, sometimes in a down) while I kept walking, then catch up and heel, then wait again while I don't break my stride and some other neat tricks. My Mom watched and said how wonderful he was. My Dad didn't even watch. So, I just decided that my Dad had the problem, not me and not my dog.

My dear Lyric is gone now to Rainbow Bridge. My Chihuahuas aren't nearly as well trained, but well enough behaved.

You can do whatever you can to train your dogs, but the bottom line is that if you're satisfied with their behavior and you have a good relationship with your dogs, no one else really matters. My dogs are my best friends. I care what they think of me more than what other people think of me. And I'm more interested in how I feel about my dogs than how other people feel or think about my dogs.

Do your relatives have email? How about an occassional message from you. What you've been up to, how things are going, you're thinking of them, blah, blah. And add a little bragging on your dog's accomplishments: graduated top of class (scan of the certificate!), photo of dog focusing on you during training, photo of dog sitting calming next to someone they know, etc.

Don't mention AT ALL that this is in response to your mother's comments. Completely ignore her comments (might she be making these comments to get a rise out of you?). Just focus on "keeping in touch"

Thanks guys. I know it shouldn't bother me but this time she just really got to me.....maybe because it was mothers day and even though I tried to see she was too busy, and then to hear what she said. I don't know. Normally I let it roll off my back......but you know those pups are like my kids and I do so much for them and with them......I don't know. I needed to rant and I really appreciate your kind and helpful words and imput. You reminded me that my relationship with the dogs is what counts and to just keep doing what we are doing.

I mean Sasha is doing so well, she isn't even afraid of bikes anymore and you know with Zackie its been 1 step up and 2 steps back but we are getting there. He does have some dog agression but we are getting that under control. I guess it just bothered me because they are both almost two years old and she hasn't seen them since they were 8 months and 5 months old and she still felt like she had to make a comment. (I will be honest it happened when my grandparents were bragging about the dogs, then again she freaked out when my grandparents bichon mix tried to sit next to her and my grand dad said whenever she got up to go to the kitchen or bathroom she constantly looked behind her to make sure Addie wasn't going to get her)

I think her dog issues come from the fact we had a Shih Tzu that turned on her when I was a little girl. He had a seizure disorder and he did attack her one day (the seizure disorder made him mean and neither one of my parents knew how to handle him, I'm still ticked at what my stepdad did, he didn't know how to correct him and the dog had already been abused and his father said its like a kid, just roll up a newspaper.....he broke the newspaper over his back...) No surprise he turned. But that was years and years ago and he never did anything that stupid again.....but I never forgave him. You don't hit a dog. Honestly that is when the rift between my parents and I began. I was 8 or 9.

Anyways since that dog bit her she avoids most dogs like the plague, except poodles (well she does avoid my poodle....he is high energy and pongo was high energy but Zackie calms down fine after a minute especially after a long walk) But then again she never trusted the poodle I had as a teenager, and she does trust her current one but like I said she is 4 pounds.

I don't know I guess maybe she is afraid of anydog Pongos size and up (pongo was the dog that turned) now. And I try to be sensitive about it but it hurt this time.


Thanks again though for all your kind words and advice

I do do that. I email her every week. I rarely get a response...other than "Thats nice" or "I'm busy"

I do talk to my stepdad on the phone every few days and he does genuinely take an interest in me and the dogs and he said he actually spoke to someone who saw Sasha at the Dog Day and he was real proud of me and her.

He has always been supportive. (And he knows he went wrong with Pongo and he regrets it everyday.)

He is the one who when Princess' owner died and Princess was left to my mom who told her to keep the dog because I needed a dog. When Princess started going downhill (about a year before she died) He decided to bite the bullet and get another dog because he knew I would take Princesses death hard and I did. But even though I still wish I could have taken Godiva when I moved you know she is his dog. He loves that dog. He adores Zack and wishes he could see him more....but Sasha does make him a bit nervous (but he says its for the same reason he is nervous around his brothers boxers....he's just never been around a dog bigger than a Poodle or shih tzu and he says it will take him some time.

So I do have a pretty good relationship with him. (Its funny I have a better relationship with both my stepparents than my actual parents)

Anyways I do email my mom weekly (I try to call) and I will continue until one of us dies. Because its important to me to have my mom in my life and I'm going to do my part....its up to her to do hers