Does any one ever think their dog doesnt like them?

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#1
Im sure my puppy shadow doesnt like me. This is probably going to sound really paranoid. Im convinced shadow dislikes me sometimes. Its weird, some times I'll call her to me and she wont come, she'll do the opposite, walk away, or carry on what she was doing. I dont scold her or anything if she does, I just ignore her. Thats what I do when she's misbehaving or not listening. I've been following this theory called "amichien bonding", the theory revolves around the idea of an alpha pair (me and my partner lee). And by practicing the theory shadow will understand we are the alpha pair and she is below us, and according to the theory will lead a happy and fufilled life, knowing she doesnt have the responsibility of leading the pack. But im convinced shadow is trying to test me in my position as alpha female. I read somewhere that dogs understand the difference between males and females in humans. She is really sweet to my partner, who by the ways spends much less time with her than I do, only because he commutes to work and gets in much later than me, and workes every sat. Not his fault. But its like she'd rather play and listen to him than me. I feed her, clean up after her, play with her, train her. But i still feel like she likes lee and not me, like she's almost challenging me for my position as his girlfriend??? Does this make any sense at all? Im following the theory and it should be working, she should understand that me and lee are the alpha pair. But it seems like she's almost jealous of me and lee, he went to kiss me the other day when I was sitting on the sofa, and she jumped in between us and put her paw on my face to stop me. Am I going mad?? Any advise would be really appreciated.
 

Love4Pits

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#2
Sounds to be like she is just being a puppy. i consider myself a puppy expert in my line of business. Sounds to be when she walks away from you or ignores you she is just simply in a puppies frame of mind. Like "sure I could listen but this is MUCH more interesting". The reason she'd rather play and listen to him to you is you already said he is not home as much. You are a normal surrounding to her she is used to you so you are not as exciting as your partner to her. Nothing personal again just typical puppy behavior. With you beingt the main one who feeds her, cleans up after her, play, and train her she probley veiws you as more of a parental figure the mum figure. You do everything her mum would do in her younger life if you think about it. Since your Partner doesent she probley veiws Lee as a sibling and constant playmate. I doubt she is challenging you but I would keep an eye on it. Try and make your time with her even more fun as she excels in her training. As for Shadow putting her paw on your face puppies do this and was problem just a wrong moment for her to do it but its normal.

No worries
 
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#3
Thanks, I was starting to think I was going a bit mad, but now you put it that way, I'm just looking to far into it. She is only 10 weeks at the end of the day! You've put my mind at rest now. Thanks. :)
 

Fran27

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#4
It seems normal to me too. I'm in the same situation and Boris used to do about the same, although now he listens to us 90% of the time when we call him, ask him to sit etc. So I wouldn't worry about it. She's just a puppy.

For the kiss, I hear you, Boris seems to want attention from us all the time, and seems to want to remind us that he is here if we are paying attention to each other. I'm hoping that getting another dog will teach him to share and that we can't always give him full attention, others want it too (important to us as we want kids), and will give him someone else to get attention from (because the cats are not to fond of it, lol).
 

Love4Pits

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#5
SHADOW_THE_STAFF said:
Thanks, I was starting to think I was going a bit mad, but now you put it that way, I'm just looking to far into it. She is only 10 weeks at the end of the day! You've put my mind at rest now. Thanks. :)
Your welcome :) its ok everyones entitled to go a bit mad every once in awhile ;) :D . Good luck with your puppy though 10 weeks is a fun age!
 

Athe

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#6
I agree with Love4pits, your partner is probably more exciting for your pup. Pups also will ignore if they find something more stimulating, the key is to make yourself fun and exciting for the pup.
Don't get caught up in the "Alpha" theory. Dogs don't really understand it and even if they did a human is not of their species any way. What I have done with all of my dogs and for all the pups I have helped raise is treat them like puppies, play with them, make their puppy year fun and exciting. implement the nothing is free in life, this is not an Alpha training therory..all it is is just giving your pup/dog rules to live by. All dogs and humans need rules to live by if not they get confused.
I have never in my 40 years ever though of myself as Alpha or the breeding pair :D LOL that is just too funny. I brought my dogs up like dogs, implemented the NIFIL policy, even before it was a well known training tool I used to do it. It was just a natural way to bring up a pup even when I was a child, people like myself were considered to just have a way with animals when in fact we just had a natural instinct of how to treat them...I never overanalyzed my dogs. Don't over overanalyze your pup and get into hierarchies etc.
Pick up some good books by Dr. Ian Dunbar and Jean Donaldson for some great training tips and how to bring up a pup properly.
In fact, when wild domestic dogs have been studied they found the dogs did not form packs of any kind. Instead they had groups of about 3 dogs, mother and a couple of pups. The males did not stay with the female dog after initial breeding...why would he? Domestic Mongrel dogs did not have a need to hunt. Hunting big game is the main reason for packing behavior. When our dogs domesticated themselves we had mongrel dogs hanging around permanent settlements and they evolved eating and scavenging. These Mongrel dogs still live in 3rd world countries scavenging and living within villages and in the dumps. These dogs are the forefathers of our purebred dogs. So, there fore our dogs have lived thousands of years without the organization of a pack. Packing behavior is formed when hunting. Try to think of your dog more as a scavenger hanging around for food than of a pack of wolves that you are priming to hunt with. :D ;)
If you want to study wild domestic dogs within villages to better understand your pup then pick up the book called "Dogs" by Dr. Raymond Coppinger. It's silly and unrealistic to study wolves to understand dogs. To be a dog is not to be a Wolf. ;)
 
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#7
Shadow...my puppy is the same way and I would agree with whoever said you are like the "parent" figure and your hubby is the playmate. I call my husband Chyna's litter mate. I've gotten jealous a few times thinking she liked him more than me (and I, too, am the one who does everything for her).
On the other hand, though...she respects me in a way she doesn't respect him. She doesn't do things to me like she does to him (biting HARD, for instance). It kind of cracks me up when I have to go over and make her stop tormenting him (it's like having two kids).
A lot of times she doesn't listen to me either when I call her. Puppy's have selective hearing, I think.
So...of course your puppy likes you...she has no reason NOT to! :D

Pam
 

BigDog2191

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#8
OMG!

Me too... it seems that Rocky loves my dad more than he loves me when I'm the one feeding/watering him, playing with him, taking him out, house training him, loving him, obedience training him, and more!

I always thought he just loved my dad more... but it seems the opposite... he looks at me as the play mate and looks at my dad as the big king...

Although, my dog seems to know I'm alpha... he knows my dad is at the top. And he seems to be around him more. It's probably because my dad works so often...

I dunno.. I still feel a lot that he just doesn't like me... he has so much more respect for my dad than he does for me... it makes no sense... I do NILIF... everything..

But I think he loves him more for some odd reason whereas he just finds me as boring and doesn't like me...
 

bridey_01

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#10
You must have read that book "The dog listner", as did I. I don't go for that little theory one bit. Too many people do too many awful things to dogs in the misconception that they must show the dog "who is alpha". Athe is absolutely right in this one. In fact i think i have argued this point before with a certain poster who would smack their dog on the nose anytime they perceived their dog was doing wrong, apparently proving that they were "alpha". The dog listner does not advocate violence, which is good, but many of the things she proposes you do are time consuming and useless. Do not worry if your dog goes through doors before you! He is not trying to usurp your leadership. Now, that my little tirade is done, i want to say shadow: no worries, it is very uncommon for a pup to hate someone, especially it's caregiver. I know pups can seem stubborn and resentful sometimes, but that's just our primate side feeling wounded when our little babies seem to like someone else better:)
 

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