How do you handle frustration?

Paviche · May 29, 2014

This probably makes a difference for me as well! Rowan is not soft in the least. If I catch him doing something bad, which is rare but happens sometimes (like last night he got the door open to the laundry room and I caught him with his head in the dog food bag...) and I scold him, he literally just takes it like a kid who got caught doing something and is angry he got caught, lol. There's really nothing that would make him shut down. He just isn't that kind of dog.

Riff is more soft, but he bounces back quickly. He was really bad about it when I got him, to the point that anyone raised their voice and he'd pee a little. As he's gained confidence, that's gone away almost entirely, and now he can deal with things like verbal corrections in training ("ah ah" for breaking a stay, little things like that) perfectly fine. Like with Rowan, it's rare that I catch him doing anything he's not supposed to beyond little things that don't really warrant a correction. Like, he loves Q-Tips

and if I catch him with one, all it takes is a "drop it" and replacing it with something appropriate like a bone.

They really are good dogs.

Laurelin · May 29, 2014

Oh wow that's the first dog I've ever seen that bites trees like Mia does! Not that she lunges and bites all the trees but she likes to attack certain trees like that. I've never seen another dog do it though. Interesting.

As far as the question goes eh.... I guess overall I do okay. I can keep cool for the most part. I don't worry about being stern though, my dogs are fine with that. You can yell at Mia and she doesn't care at all. Summer is more sensitive but you don't have to keep it sunshine and rainbows completely.

Moth · May 29, 2014

While I can get easily frustrated in certain contexts I tend to have a pretty long fuse with my dogs.

Watson on occasion manages to get under my skin if I am already grumpy or stressed for other reasons...but for the most part I am pretty zen with them both and tend to laugh rather than get upset when they act less than desirable.

If I do find myself struggling with frustration while working the dogs I usually move back from what we were working on to something they know well and end the session with a success and walk away.

Watson is not soft at all he really just shakes it off if I get too cranky...however he tends to not work well for me if he decides I am being too much of a weenie.

Menchi is softer she does not like anger or confrontation so she will actively walk away if she can or refuse to work any further.

Oko · May 29, 2014

The most frustrating thing I have to deal with is Feist's leash walking. And just nine month old border collie frustrations. It is teaching me a lot though, I've become a heck of a lot more creative, and we'll get there eventually. If I do get frustrated when working on leash walking, I normally just stop, pick her up and kiss her and tell her she's cute. It just stops me from getting pissy and training badly, and reminds me that she's trying, and I'm trying, and if I have to carry her everywhere I can lol.

In training it's funny, I normally only get frustrated with myself. If she can sense I'm getting actually irritated (when I don't even notice), she'll hop in my lap and lick me, and just snuggle for a second like 'get your act together woman'. Then we'll go back to it. She is not a really soft dog. She is very biddable and wants to get it right, but uh oh or whoops a couple times in a row doesn't shut her down. She's forgiving of sloppy training. Basically, she's not a very frustrating dog to work with to me. I'm certainly not perfect about it, today I was lamenting to my mother about just 9 month old dog things (puppies ain't got time for sleep, and like to slap you). But I try to not direct it towards her or around her.

Going from Wesley, a dog who shuts down if he hasn't had a cookie for fifteen seconds, doesn't give a darn what you think, gets bored and distracted super easily, stresses easily...Feist just isn't very frustrating. I am really happy to have trained a dog like Wesley, I find it amusing when people who have only had border collies talk about how all dogs have a inner desire to please people. Oh boy ha.

Slick · May 29, 2014

Oko said:

As said, I don't get frustrated often, but when I do 99% of my frustration comes from leash pulling as well. The dog wants to pull on leash All. The. Time. unless I have food. Except, I swear he actually isn't trying (or at least not as much as he should

). I also can't pick him up and kiss him to get over it, because he hates that. Although....that gives me an idea,.. maybe my negative reinforcement for pulling should be picking him up :lol-sign:

Thankfully, a leash pop (I'll admit, I've gotten mad and done it) does absolutely nothing to help with his leash manners, so at least that keeps me honest and using appropriate and positive methods.

BostonBanker · May 29, 2014

I guess I'm weird - I get way more frustrated by other people's dogs than my own. I think it is the same way I let family and close friends get away with a LOT more than I do strangers. Gusto flings himself at my face over and over and over, but let your lab leap on me once and I'm ready to boot him across the street....

Fran101 · May 29, 2014

Thankfully Merlin is not a soft dog. lol life is a party, and so is training, so my frustration is mostly met with "huh? What's wrong" rather than shutting down (thank goodness)

My patience leaves much to be desired.
I am working on just removing myself from the situation. Taking a breath, doing something he knows and trying later when something happens...rather than reacting.
when it comes to things like leash pulling, my patience is ridiculously low.

Like you, if I reach that point I'm just like ARR THATS IT YOU SUCK I SUCK SCREW THIS WE ARE GOING HOME IM DONE

so lately we've been playing a lot of handler and training games and focusing on my ending training sessions on a happy note, and focusing on him on walks (rather than playing on my phone lol)

JacksonsMom · May 29, 2014

BostonBanker said:

I'm definitely this way too! But more like... in a home-situation. Not a public place. Like I enjoy training sessions with other peoples dogs. I mean my grandma's dogs in particular drive me nuts when I go over to visit and such. But once I got her one dog alone one-on-one, during a training 'session', he was grand and I smiled so much seeing him learn and I'm all 'HE'S ACTUALLY SMART!' haha

Fran101 · May 29, 2014

Maybe it's being a dog walker...but I have NO MUCH MORE patience with other dogs than I do my own.

I expect Merlin to be on good behavior all the time. If he pulls or jumps on someone I'm like WHY YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THIS WHY

Other dogs pull, jump, bark, lunge and I'm just like oh it's ok, let's go walk over here lol it doesn't even phase me

crazedACD · May 29, 2014

I might just be crazy, but that dog looks like fun to me. It would be satisfying to me to try and work with it. I want to try. One of the things that 'frustrates' me is when I go to let dogs outside and they fling themselves around and crowd the door and bark..but the frustration leads to me raising my voice and having them be calm and sit/stay away from the door.

I guess I do get a little down and frustrated if one of my dogs is intent on hurting another 'being', but not frustrated towards the dog, yknow?

SpaceMutt · May 29, 2014

*blackrose said:

Thanks. I try to console myself with the assumption that, since I've started out on Hard Mode, I should theoretically be able to handle almost anything with whatever dog/breed I wind up with as a second dog. I do try to appreciate that Astro has forced me to be more creative and much, much more patient than I would normally be.

And in truth, as much as I whine about him, he could have bigger issues. He is at heart, despite his RG, very dog and people friendly. That's something I try hard not to take for granted, especially given his breed makeup. He has playmates that range from Yorkies to Boxers, male and female, speutered and intact; he is generally quiet. He might have no biddability whatsoever, but it's hard to hate him too much when he snuggles up to me on the couch and puts his big wrinkly face on my lap. Those are the moments I remind myself of when he's being the biggest brat on the face of the planet and I want to choke him with the toy he's guarding

Upendi&Mina · May 30, 2014

Minor frustrations I just work through and fake it until I make it though. However there are some days where I get SO frustrated that I'm not sure I even like my dogs anymore. At that point, my boyfriend is great about taking over for the rest of the day. The next day I make sure to put them in a situation where I know they'll succeed so I can remember why I like them so much.

However it takes me a LOT to reach the latter and I think it has only happened two times.

Dogdragoness · May 30, 2014

Southpaw said:

I've thought about this topic a lot before, but it was at the forefront of my mind while I just finished watching this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-VY_H_TG_Y

I was getting frustrated with the dog just watching it. I don't think I'd actually be able to work with a dog with that behavior and remain calm and patient. Or maybe I could as long as it wasn't MY dog. Somewhere in there he mentions that most people would probably slap a prong on this dog... YEP that'd probably be me.
I'm very.... reactive. lol. My dogs can, for example, be doing excellent while we go for a long walk. And if they lunge at one dog, I'm like THAT'S IT I'M DONE TRAINING FOREVER RAWR. I pretty much take it as a personal insult any time they practice a bad behavior, and in that MOMENT I don't even want to do anything to work on fixing it, I'm just annoyed and done and have Worst Dogs Ever. Afterwards I'm more focused on thinking about what I can do in future situations, but at the moment the bad behavior occurs, frustration takes over and I can't even be logical and can't even care.

I can hold grudges too, I remember a couple weeks ago being sooooo annoyed with Cajun and this was happening right before we were going to leave for her obedience class. And all I could think was "I don't even want to go and have to reward you for things. You deserve no rewards today." Obviously we went and life was fine but when I get frustrated... I hate training. I have no desire to work with the dog that is frustrating me. It's too hard for me to get back into a mindset where I can see the positive things that are happening.

So, there's my very human confession. What do you do when you're frustrated with your dogs... are you able to set it aside and keep trucking on? Do you stop and take a breather, and go back to things later? Or is it possible there is someone else like me out there who is just DONE when frustration occurs?

I would rather have a dog who offers many behaviors then a dog who won't engage or isn't "with it". I have a JRT who is like that, he doesn't have much will to please and shuts down easily and no amount of positive whatever makes any difference. If anything the more positive and upbeat you are the more he shuts down ... it's weird. A dog like that makes me want to pull all my hair out, I just can't deal.

-bogart- · May 30, 2014

I find it funny , that unless you knew ya'll are talking dogs , a lot can be
applied to kids and making here parents frustrated. lol

teacuptiger · May 30, 2014

I turn frustration into a play session. Because it's not going to benefit either of us if I just go and get pissed off at Roxie.

If I'm at a store or somewhere that we can't play, I just get somewhere secluded (like an empty isle or a driveway) and have Roxie sit or lay down for a few minutes, until I can calm down. Once I'm calm, I have Roxie do things she knows, just to get her focused back on me.

Elrohwen · Jun 1, 2014

I'm not perfect, I get frustrated, and there are times that I didn't know what else to do other than leash corrections. I've cried from frustration and wanted to quit training classes.

In the moment though, I have to give myself credit for usually being tolerant of craziness and keeping it together. Watson can get wild and out of control. Not nearly as bad as that dog on any daily basis, but he has acted just like that at training classes (probably for a 6 month period). I just stay calm and wait him out. I'm much more likely to get frustrated afterward and think horrible things about classes and his behavior, but in the moment I'm pretty zen most of the time.

I'll add that Watson is not particularly soft. No amount of leash corrections actually corrects anything or changes his behavior. He doesn't care if I'm upset or frustrated. He is totally a mule though when he doesn't want to do something. For him it's more about having fun and knowing what I want - if it's not fun and I'm frustrating him, or he's tired, or whatever, he will sit down and just quit. So I don't need to stay upbeat for him, and I can show frustration, but I do have to think and pay attention to how he's feeling about things, and whether I'm frustrating him by my actions. If I get frustrated and reactive about his behavior, I'm not able to be clear headed and think about how to get him in the game and we're not going to get anywhere.

sassafras · Jun 1, 2014

I finally actually watched the first few minutes of that video. Holy crapballs.

I think a dog THAT frustrating might actually paradoxically send me into my Zen place where I become super patient and tolerant. More "normal" knucklehead behavior would annoy and frustrate me, but when it gets to a certain point my mind just snaps into a weird hyper-calm.

How do you handle frustration?

Paviche

Duuuuude.

Laurelin

I'm All Ears

Moth

Mild and Slightly Nutty

Oko

Silence, peasants.

Slick

Kristina

BostonBanker

Active Member

Fran101

Resident fainting goat

JacksonsMom

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Fran101

Resident fainting goat

crazedACD

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SpaceMutt

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Upendi&Mina

Mainstreme Elitist

Dogdragoness

Happy Halloween!!

-bogart-

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teacuptiger

floor dancer

Elrohwen

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sassafras

mushinois

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