Training your spouse

Fran27

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#1
I know this thread could probably fit in the fire hydrant with the other 2 of the same types, but it's more specifically about dog training.

Has anyone else got into huge arguements about the way one of you trains the dogs? I had two arguments with my husband this week end. First time, Boris was nipping at him to play (of course, as he's always reacted to it one way or another, and mostly by putting him on his back and holding his mouth shut...), and he put him on his back again, then dragged him to his crate by the collar when it didn't work... I'm so sick of it. I've told him 100 times to ignore him, and he's like 'I can't, he keeps doing it and it hurts'. Well yeah, of course it does, as he's NEVER ignored him totally when he does it. He thinks that ignoring him the first time is enough. Funny, if Boris gets nippy at me (rarely), he stops after one attempt.

I'm worried that Boris is going to end up getting scared of people grabbing his collar, and that he's going to keep nipping all his life. I mean, why do you think he growls now when he steals something? Because he knows my husband is going to be pissed at him, and he's scared. I've been trying really hard to get him to change, when I told him what I think yesterday he went to the bedroom slamming the door and stayed there pouting for one hour...

Then last night he woke up at 3am because he couldn't sleep. I don't know, what's the reflex of normal people when they have 2 pups and wake up in the middle of the night? Let them out. He didn't. Actually, he didn't even take Boris with him, he closed the door of the bedroom and I got woken up by Boris jumping on the bed. I was too tired, I just got up, let the door open, saw what my husband was doing, and went back to bed. All the while, Tips was being fussy in his crate...

So this morning, he was late (really, I wonder why), and got up to take his shower without even letting the dogs out. Tips was not happy at all, plus someone knocked on the door and it made them wild, and when I got up to let the dogs out, Tips had peed in his crate... Wonderful when he still has stitches from his neutering...

I'm really angry honestly. I'm really tired of having him totally messing up the dog. Why do you think Boris still jumps on people? Because he gives them attention. Whether it's just telling them to get off or sit, obviously it doesn't work because he still jumps. We're spending a lot in fertility treatments, what if one day when I'm pregnant Boris comes and starts jumping on my belly with all his strength (he does that)? And how will he bring up children if he doesn't even listen to my advice when it comes to training dogs?

I'm not even really asking for advice, because I know I should talk to him, and I keep doing it, and it does nothing. I guess I just had to rant or hear people tell me that it will be fine...
 

RoxyBoxer

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#2
My boxer jumps on everyone! My boyfriend has always encouraged her to 'dance' when he gets home. Im now 7 months pregnant and at first roxy used to jump up to dance or hug me and when id see her coming id turn so she hit my back and walk away to the bathroom or bedroom and put away stuff or anything to make her realize I was busy and yes i was excited to see her but she was to excited to see me. She has finally realized that its only okay to jump on my bf and friends but not on me anyone. as for crate training I cant help you there ours sleeps in bed with us!! As for nipping and playing rough ours gets over excited and growls or whines when people are over and she doesnt get attention or when people are talking loud. We just ignore her. completly. or tell her we are going to put her in her cage. and when she doesnt listen we put her in a time out in her cage right in front of us and leave her there for about 5 minutes...then take her out and she usually gets the hint. My bf lets the dog out at night cause im to tired ;) and he knows I refuse to pick up poop because hes to lazy to get up at 3 to let her out for 5 minutes!
 
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#3
wow fran, our men must have been separted at birth they sound so alike. Lee is exactly the same, but he is starting to listen, sometimes. Its so frustrating though, i'll tell him to ignore shadow when she's nipping him, so he stares her in the eye! I tell him, thats NOT ignoring her! He lets her get away with it the 1st 5 times, then gets mad when she wont stop! I want to pull my hair out at times.

Ill be interested in other peoples responses, cos shadow has started jumping up, not on me thou, she knows she wont get attention from me that way. So I need the same kind of advise as you.

Men eh......who needs them.
 

luvmydogs

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#5
i had a boyfriend long time ago, that kicked my rottie in his ribs cus he was begging. u know, i got into a physical fight. he was 225 lbs and i am 147 lbs. but my anger gave me so much strength that i hurt him big time!!! i HATE it when people insist its he right way to "teach the dog a lesson" that was 16 yrs ago, but i'm still pissed off
 

femke

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#6
ugh, men sometimes just dont get it.... lol.

I've had some fights with my hubby over our puppy. He was the one wanting the dog in the first place yet I found there was no taking care of her from his side. I also didn't agree with the way he'd get angry with her. Luckily my hubby did listen to me... I just told him I read all these books on dogs not for nothing, he didn't read any. If he didn't agree with me then I'd at least want him to read the books and tell me what he thinks, and why he thinks his way is better. In the end he just accepted that I had read them and it was better to do it my way hehehe. He's gotten a LOT better now. Hopefully for you hubby will smarten up and you'll be able to have a normal conversation about it without him getting upset over it... Goodluck!
 

filarotten

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#7
Oh, I am so glad you did this post. I am so angry with my husband!!! When we were evacuated for Rita he changed our plans for a hotel to go to his aunt and uncles in n.e. texas. he tells me the dogs will be staying in their shop which is huge. I was ok with that. 11 hours later,(still trying to get there because traffice was so bad) He tells me the dogs will be staying in a horse trailer. I am getting mad. Then he tells me I will not have phone service when we get there. We finally got there,it took 13 hours to drive 200 miles It went from bad to worse. They are put in a horse trailer, And we are staying in his grandmothers' trailer. Gee a hurricane is coming and I am going to be in a trailer and my dogs in a horse trailer. I was seeing red,but I burst in to tears and told him he was trying to kill us all. It is hot as hell and we had to keep spraying the dogs with the water hose so they did not have heat strokes. They have 15 dogs most have mange because of crappy dog food, the other 3 stay in the house. Friday night when the storm was coming in, His uncle said if the storm got to bad we could stay with them in their house, I asked can the dogs come in also. He said no because they already had 4 in the house. I was pissed. My husband did call his grandmother and tell her we were putting the dogs in her trailer. so we spent the night in a trailer with the dogs during the hurricane. i was not leaving my dogs. Then we had no electricity or water and it was hot as hell, Brutus and my husband both got poison ivy, and my dogs all got fleas and ant and misquito bites. As soon as the roads were cleared from trees I told him the dogs and I were going home with or without him. We left and came home. My house was fine, thankfully, but we had to bathe the dogs dip the dogs and I have been the one that has had to doctor all of them because of his bad judgement call. MEN!!!! If we are ever evacuated I told him it better be in a nice hotel with the dogs and I will be in the lounge watching the hurricane instead of being in it. Sorry I just needed to vent.
 

Martine

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#8
I've found training my husband to respect the training I've done with Misha, harder than the dog training, if that makes sense. After a couple of times Misha's got the hang of it, but my husband still forgets he is not supposed to just give her treats, let her bite & chew etc....sometime i feel like a broken record - but he'll get there one day.......
 
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#9
YES men just dun get it, same thing with my bf, we went on a family trip to the seaside and there he was showing my 16 weeks old puppy then, w/o full vaccination that puddles from the road are drinkable and horse poo are food. I told him 50x no that is not ok and will make her sick, he goes "ohh..dun be paranoid, my parents let my dog do that too" I gave up on the 51st try and on Monday when I came back from work, my dog is lying on the floor half dead not moving. Puke was all over the floor. I called him and the only thing he said to me is "oh, really? thats bad, but i'm going KFC with my frens now" I was in rage and nearly wanna take an hour train to kick him in the -you know where-
I wrapped my baby in a blanket, rushed her to the vet, crying. In my mind was "please dun die on me" The verdict from the vet "severe food poisoning" and she have to stay in the hospital for the nite. Had a big fight with him and now he knows that listening to me is better then listening to his parents who fed their dogs everything.
 
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#11
she's ok now, just very very thin c'os she's recovering from giardia and from her food poisoning. I can count her ribs and her tummy just sinks right in. Trying to fatten her a lil and any suggestion is welcome.
She's on raw now with apple, steamed brocolli & carrots blended into a paste and added to her raw. And of course cookies (her fave)
 
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#12
luvmydogs said:
i had a boyfriend long time ago, that kicked my rottie in his ribs cus he was begging. u know, i got into a physical fight. he was 225 lbs and i am 147 lbs. but my anger gave me so much strength that i hurt him big time!!! i HATE it when people insist its he right way to "teach the dog a lesson" that was 16 yrs ago, but i'm still pissed off
What the ****?? I hope you reported him!!! :mad:
 

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