The Venting Thread

And now I have an ulcer. Lovely.

I found out last night that Josh is getting a shift switch. Which means 2 weeks in a row of afternoons (ie I don't get to talk to him much for 2 weeks in a row because our sleep/work schedules are opposite), and what little social life he had before is now gone because all of his friends are staying on the old shift, and the people he knows on this new shift aren't nice.

I wish he never moved away...

My throat is ever-so-slightly scratchy and sore. It better just be the dry, cold weather. OR ELSE.

Garage door was wide open all day. We closed it when we came home, and it was opened and left open right after.

WE HAVE THE HEAT ON CLOSE THE DOOR YOU MORON! We've had talks about this. We had a talk before we left again that it needs to be closed or our bedroom freezes, but I'd bet MONEY that it's open when we come home.

I just set Middie's space heater at 72.

Ugh.... Why, just...why!? I am going to resign my lease and, like I do witht these things, I read through it to make sure things were still good. Well, everything looked good until I looked at the pet policy and the weight has now changed to freaking 25lbs. So now I'm freaking out, searching all the apartments in the area for a new apartment in case I have to move. =_=

I told them I was resigning two months ago! I didn't get the new lease until two days ago and my lease is up December 12th. -_- I'm just not a happy camper. I asked the manager about it and she's all "yeah, it's not a problem unless we get complaints" but I just know that's going to be super stressful for me.

I'm going to go month-month rent for now while I try to find a new apartment. Worse comes to worse Talon has a place to live for a few months, so he's really not in any danger, but I don't want to potentially go a year without him! So, yeah......I'm probably going to be moving -_-

I am so full of irrational rage right now. Like, to the point of grabbing my shears and cutting off all of BeAu's hair.

I am so tired of doing it. He abuses it, refuses to deal with it, but expects to have perfectly healthy, shiny, glossy, straight, fine asian hair.

Mother****er you are as mixed as a fruit cake but you have BLACK HAIR. You have coarse, extremely curly, incredibly dry hair. Chemically straightening it, refusing to wash it for months on end, and happily going about dreaming about bleaching half of it white blonde is about as realistic as you growing yellow ass skin.

But you know what? Go for it. I am not about to sit here for hours on end researching and painfully taking care of it for you to throw chemicals in it, rip a brush through it, and hot iron it every day. Nope. I am done. I can't do it anymore.

****in' japanophiles. How do I constantly end up with these people.

Lord and Lady help me. And get these hormones under control before I lose my mind between being horny, clingy, angry, and exhausted.

Drank too much last night and have now felt naseous all day.

Why do I do this to myself?

When I was 15, I was reading a book titled "Black Boy" by Richard Wright. In reading the book I eventually hit on a quote:

This was the book that opened my eyes to the world. I read this in class, surrounded by all the hearing people, suddenly realizing that here was a guy that was speaking for me, how I felt about being a deaf man in a hearing world.

That changed how I saw everyone in my life. It made me angry, and it made me bitter and hateful. It took me nearly a decade after that to finally let go of the anger, but it's still there in some way.

But it also made me understand the reality of the world. That things are not quite as simple as we make them out to be. People talk about minority issues as though it were a simple thing to categorize, but it's an intricately tangled chaotic web made up of individuals who are not at all alike, not a group of like-minded people no matter how like-minded they may appear on the surface.

tl;dr Richard Wright blew my mind.

What about asking them to change it before you resign? I've done that before. Worst case scenario, they won't, best case is total peace of mind.

Gr, I hate having stupid hours. My gma from up north was supposed to come visit and be here by 8, but now she won't get here till midnight And I can't wait for her, because I'm gonna have to wake up by 3:00 to get Roxie exercised and whatnot so I can leave by 6:30.

But then I won't get home till a little after 7pm. I don't even know if she's gonna stick around till then. She usually stays for a few hours and then poofs.

It just makes me sad, because I didn't get to do Thanksgiving with my mom's side of the family because I had to work and they went out to eat (yes, OUT!! :yikes but there were only reservations for when I was to be at work. And now I don't get to spend hardly any time at all with my other grandma. I never get to see any of my extended family anymore

I wish I could afford to ask someone to work for me, but I can't.

HOLY SERRANO PEPPERS!!!

We got some from sprouts that BURNED when we ate them (they're usually mild like jalapeños), burned like hell in my stomach, and now I'm on the toilet being burned elsewhere. WHYYY? Aaah. It was like eating something way, way hotter. Maybe Sprouts sells them non-GMO and they're actually supposed to be that hot?

I've never had a hot serrano. That sounds painful!

I've "pepper sprayed" myself with Serranos. The steam managed to bring some of it up into my face. My whole face was red for hours. Some aren't too bad, but some are. If you check the Scoville scales published, Jalepenos vary with upto 4x spiciness, with Serranos being barely hotter than a Jalepeno to 3 times worse...

There are about 100 different things that can control a pepper spiciness. Even from my own Jalepeno plants, it ranges from where you can just pop them into your mouth to burning on the way in and out. Same plant. Water and season changed though.

Bonus:
Do not try an ornamental pepper. Those are all related to the Thai and Habanaro peppers...

was up all night with an abscessed tooth. AGAIN. im so sick of always being in pain or having something wrong with me. why cant i just be healthy?

That moment when you have eaten all of your packed food for lunch and are still hungry. Sadface.

Interesting, although i would never try them because I dont like and cant handle anything hot, because ulcers, I didnt know that one could EAT an ornamental pepper, I was always told they were poisonous or something.

They may use systemic pesticides, or otherwise do stuff to them that you don't really want to eat. But it was a purple pepper, I had to try one. Very small too, so I didn't poison myself with too much.

Fiancee was always like "DONT eat them NEVER eat them" So I never have, they are pretty to look at, though.

Jalapenos arent too bad as long as you take the seeds and the "vein" out of them (same with serranos) every once and a while I will miss some and I taste it, but it doesnt make me want to die. Now Habaneros, yeah ... i stay away from them LOL.

Just sunk in again that Michael will be deploying next month. To Spain, then Africa.

*sigh*

These next seven months are going to be way too ******* long.

Fiancee is working on a ranch in north texas, I am visiting him right now and will be here until this coming monday, I will also be back after christmas. I feel like a terrible person for saying this but I value my alone time when I am at my family's ranch, just me and my dog. I love him, but I value my alone time, too.

Its him who doesnt take the separation well.