teenagers..sigh

smkie

pointer/labrador/terrier
Joined
Dec 16, 2004
Messages
55,184
Likes
35
Points
48
#1
Aaron and i have so little time together that when it is actually the two of us in the house i try to gee have a conversation with him.and i see he is not listening as i am talking about "my day".. so i said i thought it quite rude. That he should take an interest in his family...come hear his grandma and his mom play duets on the piano. Pay attention to his old dog..he says he is and i said not enough. If i ask him to come out and see something in the garden..he sighs and acts like it is the most boring thing in the universe. If it wasn't for Zits cartoon i would be more angry than i am...i just got hurt feelings..he said you need a boyfriend..and i said like crap..i need my son. I told him i wonder if a teen grows up when they become a parent...if that is when they cross the road to caring more about their people than the tv or whatever. He hurt my feelings..again.
i made him take the dog out because he hurt my feelings. penence
 

bubbatd

Moderator
Joined
Nov 28, 2004
Messages
64,812
Likes
1
Points
0
Age
90
#2
Ah Smkie, they do grow up.........it's the sighs and eye rolling that got me...( still does at times!!)
 

smkie

pointer/labrador/terrier
Joined
Dec 16, 2004
Messages
55,184
Likes
35
Points
48
#3
do you read zits cartoon in the paper? i thought i had them scanned but it was so long ago i can't find them..he and my son are identical in many ways..i adore that and for better or worse
 

EliNHunter

New Member
Joined
Nov 28, 2004
Messages
3,836
Likes
0
Points
0
Age
60
Location
Indianapolis
#4
I guess I'm led to post here :(

I'm 41 and my Mom's 72 (Bubbatd) and when I was a teen, I was HORRIBLE to my mother! My Dad was always working and when he wasn't, he was a performance driven SOB. (God bless his soul, I still love him though). I was a gymnast in high school and he would go to all my meets. If I didn't perform well in a routine, he would go outside at break instead of talking to me to "punish" me. I used to show horses, too, and he became my coach at one point. There were a number of times if I didn't perform "well", he would just leave me and my Mom there and go back home -- usually in another state for a week at a time! I think I took it all out on my Mom -- especially at 15 -- I was a TERROR! So mean and hateful towards her. But I got through those "terrible teens" and somehow Mom did too! We now enjoy dinners, sleepovers, and vacations together often! So, heads up! Hopefully it's just a phase...
 

mrose_s

BusterLove
Joined
Mar 27, 2005
Messages
12,169
Likes
0
Points
36
Age
34
Location
QLD, Australia
#5
thats weird. It annoys me when teenagers act that way towards their parents.
They annoy me occasionally but not to the point where I want to be seen as a typical teenager.

Arghh well, a lot of 15 year olds arent only interested in school, animals and family either. Maybe im just the weird 1
 

EliNHunter

New Member
Joined
Nov 28, 2004
Messages
3,836
Likes
0
Points
0
Age
60
Location
Indianapolis
#6
15 years old always seems like the worst year for a teenager. I think it's because they are almost 16 (sweet 16 and driver's license!) and all that. They're like a little kid trapped in an adult body (in their minds). I know, I experienced it...
 

bubbatd

Moderator
Joined
Nov 28, 2004
Messages
64,812
Likes
1
Points
0
Age
90
#10
Growing up IS hard to do !! But we all seem to make it through. Then we mature and start to think ! Why on earth did I make that stink! To quote Mark Twain..." When I was a boy of fourteen my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But, when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years "
 
Joined
Jun 26, 2004
Messages
611
Likes
0
Points
0
#11
Lol I'm in the prime of my teen years, 16, and I'm kinda living life pretty fast. I do spend time with the parents but not that much. Most my life revolves are my dogs, friends, and school. I'm dont try to be a jack@$$ to my parents but I always feel like theyre trying to make me what they want me to be. Not what I want to be. It feels like theyre getting in my way. I know theyre just trying to do whats best for me but whats best for me is what they think. Parents just have to understand its normally just a phase and that no matter how much we hurt them, we still love them and its just that we want some freedom. Just want to live our lives out and experiment.

-Jon
 

smkie

pointer/labrador/terrier
Joined
Dec 16, 2004
Messages
55,184
Likes
35
Points
48
#12
aaron played me a game of othello so he is forgiven.. we just have so little time left and i know that and he doen'st. I am just trying to soak him up a little before he is a man with his own life. I figure at best we have a year. we do have a good relationship and he has his good moments too. I just hate talking to the side of a person's head when i haven't had a chance to share and talk with them for a long time. Surely i am more interesting than a commercial. He played a good game and i only beat him by two. I know he enjoyed himself some. usually he is here with the pack and i am here to, but not the same. Thanks shredhead..especially the we love them part. It would be different if there was a man in the house, but Aaron and i have always been together just us..and i really don't expect much..just a how is your day once in a while...he has more than enough freedom.
 

becca_4321

New Member
Joined
Dec 20, 2004
Messages
742
Likes
0
Points
0
#13
teenagers can be so tough. I went thru some very hard times with my daughters. My goal was always to raise my girls to be independent. Oh my gosh, do you know what independent teenage girls can be like! Sometimes I had no clue who these girls were. I did something right with them, they werent into drugs, the oldest one did drink some but then got interested in church. My biggest problem with my kids were they were cocky and because I wasnt married to their father any longer I always heard threats that they'd go live with dad, ect. I cried for 2 days after the 1st time I had to call my oldest on her threat and let her go. I knew she'd be back but it still hurt. Now my girls are 20 and 23 and we have a very good relationship. Your son may need alittle space. He is trying to find who he is. He loves you, he loves you very much. It kind of sounds like your having a hard time preparing yourself for the empty nest which you know is coming soon. Understandable. Just keep doing like you've been doing with him, talk to him, but dont try to shove it down his throat if he's not into it that day. He'll be fine.
 

smkie

pointer/labrador/terrier
Joined
Dec 16, 2004
Messages
55,184
Likes
35
Points
48
#14
This is the first time we have been alone for a month for a big chunk of the evening. H e is out with his friends now and on his way to Bronwyns..we ended up having a good evening..he just hurt my feelings earlier, which is'nt hard to do. Sometimes i feel like Mary who is so happy to see him, greets him at the door tail wagging and he walks right past her and shuts the bedroom door in her face without even acknowledging her presense..i happen to think that is quite rude to dear marydog. Other times he is quite nice and loves her very much. That is where the Zits cartoon comes in. I would have been far more worried about his on again off again behavior if the parents of the boy in the comic weren't going thru the exact same thing. i use to clip the relevant ones and tape them to his bedroom door. He liked his bedroom door so much that when the house burned and the work crew threw it in the dumpster he dug it back out and it is now in the shed. I taped a lot of things to his door. I will miss him dearly when he leaves, but will be happy for him as well. i am not hanger on, just need a little conversation once a blue moon from my favorite boy. (human that is) he calls Victor a punk and says he is his little brother.
 

avenlee

New Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2004
Messages
1,881
Likes
0
Points
0
Age
55
Location
Massachusetts
#15
My 16 yr old daughter who has been the "apple of my eye" up to the last two months, has taken off with no phone calls or answering her cell phone, over 24 hrs on two separate occasions and just this past Tues. for 9 hours. I'm at my wits end and she really is a good kid. She's a junior in high school, carries a 3.4 grade average, takes accelerated college courses. I just don't know what I'm going to do with her at this moment. I've passworded locked down all computers, taken away her cell phone (because she never answers it anyway) and besides, I NEED ONE! geeeeeeeeeesh. I have her talking to a counselor, hopefully it will do some good. I feel that if she can't talk to us, maybe she will open up to a third party. I did let her know how much she affects the whole family when she does this stuff. I have two younger daughters that have to see me pace the floor all night long. And of course, unable to spend time with them. Tony and I are fighting over how to handle the situation .... nothing serious, but my other two daughters hear this and its just rotten for all of us.

Sooo, smkie I hear ya and understand. I'm hoping its a phase also.
 

smkie

pointer/labrador/terrier
Joined
Dec 16, 2004
Messages
55,184
Likes
35
Points
48
#16
i think junior high thru high school is as dangerous as when they first start walking..only the stakes are so much higher and the worries are as big as mountains.I hope your daughter is thinking and not partaking in things and activites she shouldn't..my daughter ran me thru the wringer before it was all better...it is exhausting to love someone so much and be treated that way. I hope it is a phase for her and ends like yesterday! So sorry that is so hard. I know i was horrible from thirteen to about 16 before i got it out of my system, and my best friend who had nothing but good to say about her eldest daughter wanted to pull her hair out when she was about 15 as well, now they are all good too. My mother til this day reminds me what a beast i was. I don't know why it has to be that way. I read in reader's digest once that the child you are closest with has the hardest time making "the break" and i don't know if it is true or not. All i know is it is scary.
 

smkie

pointer/labrador/terrier
Joined
Dec 16, 2004
Messages
55,184
Likes
35
Points
48
#18
i have tried to access the link twice but it says ooops we are unable..i think i have seen the special you are talking about. I can understand the sleep thing..and how their brains work differently in many respects..i also remember being one and that is what scares me most. I have one daughter out of the frying pan...sort of..and one that is edging his way into maturity albiet kicking and screaming every inch of the way. Then Hyia will come along..and i worry what will be out there for her. The thrill seeking is the biggest worry. I explained about thickened water..what you get to drink after you fry you brain huffing..and head truama for those dumb enough to car surf..(which my son did and then told me about it a year later)...you can think you are warning them of the big perils to avoid and all they hear is blah blah....actually Aaron did say he listens to me more than he admits. Didn't say he agreed or followed...tho.car surfing..can you imagine? The kid i said NO helmet NO bike? That worked until he was about 13 then he escaped me but at least it protected his head from 6 to then. Since he managed to crack 2 of them it was a good thing.
 
Joined
Oct 12, 2004
Messages
11,559
Likes
0
Points
0
Age
64
Location
Portland,Oregon
#19
Awww....life with teenagers!!! It's so hard to be the parent of a teenager, but it's also hard to be a teenager. I have raised one who is 21 now, and I have a 15 yr old boy. It'll be a miracle if I make it through his growing up. I certainly can feel for you.
 
Joined
Dec 20, 2003
Messages
94,266
Likes
3
Points
36
Location
Where the selas blooms
#20
Okay, I'm going to try something since I checked and got their "Oops" screen just now too. I did a site search using the terms 'adolescent' and 'brain' and came up with the article link and several other very pertinent ones, which I've copied and will paste here. We'll see how this works! \\ frontline: inside the teenage brain: work in progress: adolescent ...
... Cautionary Words. Jay Giedd and his colleagues have given us a new window into understanding how the pre-adolescent brain develops. ...

frontline: inside the teenage brain: interviews: jay giedd, md ...
What has surprised you about looking at the adolescent brain? The most surprising thing has been how much the teen brain is changing. ...

The Secret Life of the Brain : Episode 3
... When examining the adolescent brain we find mystery, complexity, frustration, and inspiration. ... A major challenge to the adolescent brain is schizophrenia. ...

The Secret Life of the Brain - Outreach Center
... Invite representatives from alcoholism and addiction groups to speak to parents' groups about the adolescent brain and addiction. ...

The Secret Life of the Brain
Program 1 Adolescent Activity Goals: Inform teens about brain development during conception and infancy; Teach skills to enhance ...

Online NewsHour: Research Indicates Teen Brains Work Differently ...
... In the past, that behavior was blamed on hormones. Wellek's brief tries to show that adolescent behavior has a physical basis in the brain. ...
 

Members online

No members online now.
Top